{"id":1111,"date":"2019-06-05T18:18:47","date_gmt":"2019-06-05T18:18:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/olemiss-writing100\/?post_type=chapter&p=1111"},"modified":"2025-01-21T17:12:27","modified_gmt":"2025-01-21T17:12:27","slug":"revising-for-style-wordiness","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/olemiss-writing100\/chapter\/revising-for-style-wordiness\/","title":{"raw":"Revising for Style: Wordiness","rendered":"Revising for Style: Wordiness"},"content":{"raw":"Sometimes writers use too many words when fewer words will appeal more to their audience and better fit their purpose. Eliminating wordiness helps all readers because it makes your ideas clear, direct, and straightforward.\u00a0Here are some common examples of wordiness to look for in your draft:\r\n\r\n\"When\r\n\r\nWatch out for\u2026\u2026\r\n

Sentences that begin with There is or There are<\/h3>\r\n
\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Wordy<\/strong><\/td>\r\nRevised<\/strong><\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<\/thead>\r\n
There are two major experiments that the Biology Department sponsors.<\/td>\r\nThe Biology Department sponsors two major experiments.<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<\/tbody>\r\n<\/table>\r\n<\/div>\r\n

Sentences with unnecessary modifiers<\/h3>\r\n
\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Wordy<\/strong><\/td>\r\nRevised<\/strong><\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n
Two extremely famous and well-known consumer advocates spoke eloquently in favor of the proposed important legislation.<\/td>\r\nTwo well-known consumer advocates spoke in favor of the proposed legislation.<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<\/tbody>\r\n<\/table>\r\n<\/div>\r\n

Sentences with unnecessary phrases that add little to the meaning<\/h3>\r\nBe judicious when you use phrases such as \"in terms of,\" \"with a mind to,\" \"on the subject of,\" \"as to whether or not,\" \"more or less,\" \"as far as\u2026is concerned,\" and similar expressions. You can usually find a more straightforward way to state your point.\r\n
\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Wordy<\/strong><\/td>\r\nRevised<\/strong><\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n
As a world leader in the field of green technology, the company plans to focus its efforts in the area of geothermal energy. A report as to whether or not to use geysers as an energy source is in the process of preparation.<\/td>\r\nAs a world leader in green technology, the company plans to focus on geothermal energy. A report about using geysers as an energy source is in preparation.<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<\/tbody>\r\n<\/table>\r\n<\/div>","rendered":"

Sometimes writers use too many words when fewer words will appeal more to their audience and better fit their purpose. Eliminating wordiness helps all readers because it makes your ideas clear, direct, and straightforward.\u00a0Here are some common examples of wordiness to look for in your draft:<\/p>\n

\"When<\/p>\n

Watch out for\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n

Sentences that begin with There is or There are<\/h3>\n
\n\n\n\n\n\n
Wordy<\/strong><\/td>\nRevised<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n
There are two major experiments that the Biology Department sponsors.<\/td>\nThe Biology Department sponsors two major experiments.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n

Sentences with unnecessary modifiers<\/h3>\n
\n\n\n\n\n
Wordy<\/strong><\/td>\nRevised<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Two extremely famous and well-known consumer advocates spoke eloquently in favor of the proposed important legislation.<\/td>\nTwo well-known consumer advocates spoke in favor of the proposed legislation.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n

Sentences with unnecessary phrases that add little to the meaning<\/h3>\n

Be judicious when you use phrases such as “in terms of,” “with a mind to,” “on the subject of,” “as to whether or not,” “more or less,” “as far as\u2026is concerned,” and similar expressions. You can usually find a more straightforward way to state your point.<\/p>\n

\n\n\n\n\n
Wordy<\/strong><\/td>\nRevised<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
As a world leader in the field of green technology, the company plans to focus its efforts in the area of geothermal energy. A report as to whether or not to use geysers as an energy source is in the process of preparation.<\/td>\nAs a world leader in green technology, the company plans to focus on geothermal energy. A report about using geysers as an energy source is in preparation.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t

Candela Citations<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
CC licensed content, Original<\/div>