key takeaways

• “We are all in the same boat in a stormy sea, and we owe each other a terrible loyalty.” – G. K. Chesterton
• “…the isolation, introspection, and restraint characteristic of the healer role can reduce our spontaneity and vitality.” (p.77). Psychotherapists needing to be aware of how intimate treatment relationships (with clients) can deplete their inner resources in the context of their personal relationships (with family and friends).
• The chapter focuses on use of meaningful relationships to restore inner strength and emotional balance- so, the opposite of time alone! Repeat, the opposite of time alone! How comfortable are you with this idea? How does your tendency to be either more introverted or extroverted impact this? 
• Peer groups must be carefully structured to ensure trust and confidence. A specific form of peer supervision, the Balint group, is discussed where professionals take turns presenting a patient and the group offers a wide range of possible thoughts. There is an identifiable group leader who facilitates the process and ensures that members are not challenged or criticized for their treatment decisions. In what ways has our group supervision been effective/nurturing for you? How realistic do you think it would be to implement or join a Balint group in your professional endeavors?
• Many psychotherapy coworkers are capable of providing support and assistance within the workplace. Colleagues understand our role and career and are able to appreciate your feelings, reactions, and concerns. By collaborating we become partners and more able to ward off feelings of loneliness in our work. Coworkers provide guidance and validation.
• Multidisciplinary teams of providers are ideal for providing comprehensive treatment to a client. They improve patient outcomes and help nurture the psychotherapist (e.g., Marsha Linehan’s DBT process). One example of this is co-therapy. Non-clinical staff members are another source of contact and encouragement in the office.
• “In many cultures, healing is never an individual task of duty. It is an emergent relational property and collective responsibility.” (p.82). How have competence constellations impacted your development as a professional? What are some professional consequences when a competence constellation is missing? What has your experience been like in seeking and establishing long-term mentors? Thoughts on structuring daily schedules alternating replenishing sessions with those more energy consuming?
• Treatment of client needs takes precedence over the needs of the therapist; nurturance/special moments/appreciation should never be initiated or elicited by the therapist. Have you had an experience where a client was a source of support and encouragement to you? The authors say “Let us accept and be grateful…even gives a touching (and appropriate gift) …” (pp. 82)- Do you think is it ever acceptable to accept a gift?
• The highest career-sustaining behavior among psychotherapists is spending time with one’s partner and family. The second is maintaining a balance between one’s professional and personal lives. What are your thoughts on the relationship between a balanced personal life and effectiveness as a therapist? When your emotional needs are met in your personal life, do you recognize any impact on therapeutic work? How do you measure whether or not you are bringing enough of yourself home?
• Therapists were found to have decreasingly fewer friends over the course of their career. In what ways do you maintain connection with your “civilian” friend group now? How do you plan to maintain these connections over the course of your life/career? Thoughts on monitoring your time spent engaging in these friendships?
• The largest determinant of happiness appears to be a supportive network of close relationships.