{"id":101,"date":"2022-05-20T21:09:11","date_gmt":"2022-05-20T21:09:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-ecc-guidetowriting\/chapter\/revising-weak-passive-voice-sentences\/"},"modified":"2022-05-20T21:09:11","modified_gmt":"2022-05-20T21:09:11","slug":"revising-weak-passive-voice-sentences","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-ecc-guidetowriting\/chapter\/revising-weak-passive-voice-sentences\/","title":{"raw":"Revising Weak Passive-Voice Sentences","rendered":"Revising Weak Passive-Voice Sentences"},"content":{"raw":"\nAs we've mentioned, the passive voice can be a shifty operator\u2014it can cover up its source, that is, who's doing the acting, as this example shows:\n<ul>\n \t<li><strong>Passive:&nbsp;<\/strong>The papers <strong>will be graded<\/strong> according to the criteria stated in the syllabus.\n<ul>\n \t<li><em>Graded by whom though?<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n \t<li><strong>Active:&nbsp;The teacher<\/strong> will grade the papers according to the criteria stated in the syllabus.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\nIt's this ability to cover the actor or agent of the sentence that makes the passive voice a favorite of people in authority\u2014policemen, city officials, and, yes, teachers. At any rate, you can see how the passive voice can cause wordiness, indirectness, and comprehension problems.\n<table>\n<thead>\n<tr>\n<th>Passive<\/th>\n<th>Question<\/th>\n<th>Active<\/th>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td>Your figures <strong>have been reanalyzed<\/strong> in order to determine the coefficient of error. The results <strong>will be announced<\/strong> when the situation is judged appropriate.<\/td>\n<td>Who analyzes, and who will announce?<\/td>\n<td><strong>We<\/strong> have reanalyzed your figures in order to determine the range of error. <strong>We<\/strong> will announce the results when the time is right.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>With the price of housing at such inflated levels, those loans&nbsp;<strong>cannot be paid<\/strong> off in any shorter period of time.<\/td>\n<td>Who can't pay the loans off?<\/td>\n<td>With the price of housing at such inflated levels, <strong>homeowners<\/strong> cannot pay off those loans in any shorter period of time.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>After the arm of the hand-held stapler <strong>is pushed<\/strong> down, the blade from the magazine <strong>is raised by<\/strong> the top-leaf spring, and the magazine and base.<\/td>\n<td>Who pushes it down, and who or what raises it?<\/td>\n<td>After <strong>you<\/strong> push down on the arm of the hand-held stapler, <strong>the top-leaf spring<\/strong> raises the blade from the magazine, and the magazine and base move apart.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>However, market share <strong>is being lost by<\/strong> 5.25-inch diskettes as is shown in the graph in Figure 2.<\/td>\n<td>Who or what is losing market share, who or what shows it?<\/td>\n<td>However, <strong>5.25-inch diskettes<\/strong> are losing market share as the graph in <strong>Figure 2<\/strong> shows.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>For many years, federal regulations concerning the use of wire-tapping <strong>have been ignored<\/strong>. Only recently <strong>have<\/strong> tighter restrictions <strong>been imposed<\/strong> on the circumstances that warrant it.<\/td>\n<td>Who has ignored the regulations, and who is now imposing them?<\/td>\n<td>For many years, <strong>government officials<\/strong> have ignored federal regulations concerning the use of wire-tapping. Only recently has<strong> the federal government<\/strong> imposed tighter restrictions on the circumstances that warrant it.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<div class=\"textbox key-takeaways\">\n<h3>Practice<\/h3>\nConvert these passive voice sentences into the active voice. Why is the&nbsp;active voice a better choice for each of these sentences?\n<ol>\n \t<li>The process, which was essential for the experiment's success, was completed by Enzo.<\/li>\n \t<li>The cake that I worked on all day long is being eaten by Justin.<\/li>\n \t<li>After the pattern has been applied to the fabric, work on the embroidery can be started.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n[practice-area rows=\"4\"][\/practice-area]\n[reveal-answer q=\"529218\"]Show Answer[\/reveal-answer]\n[hidden-answer a=\"529218\"]\n<ol>\n \t<li>Enzo completed the process, which was essential for the experiment's success.\n<ul>\n \t<li>In the passive sentence, the&nbsp;<em>which<\/em>-clause makes the subject of the sentence excessively long. By&nbsp;converting the sentence to the active voice, the clause is moved to the predicate, which makes the sentence easier to understand.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n \t<li>Justin is eating&nbsp;the cake that I worked on&nbsp;all day long.\n<ul>\n \t<li>The active voice works better in this sentence for the same reasons as sentence one.&nbsp;It is also likely that you would want to put emphasis on Justin in this sentence. After all, he's doing something that is (most likely) inconsiderate.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n \t<li>After you apply the pattern to the fabric, you can&nbsp;start&nbsp;working on the embroidery.\n<ul>\n \t<li>This sentence is likely found in&nbsp;a set of instructions, which are usually written directly to the reader. Addressing \"you\" and avoiding the passive voice will make the instructions feel&nbsp;more natural and accessible.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n[\/hidden-answer]\n\n<\/div>\nDon't get the idea that the passive voice is always wrong and should never be used. It is a good writing technique when we don't want to be bothered with an obvious or too-often-repeated subject and when we need to rearrange words in a sentence for emphasis. The next page will focus more on how and why to use the passive voice.\n","rendered":"<p>As we&#8217;ve mentioned, the passive voice can be a shifty operator\u2014it can cover up its source, that is, who&#8217;s doing the acting, as this example shows:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Passive:&nbsp;<\/strong>The papers <strong>will be graded<\/strong> according to the criteria stated in the syllabus.\n<ul>\n<li><em>Graded by whom though?<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li><strong>Active:&nbsp;The teacher<\/strong> will grade the papers according to the criteria stated in the syllabus.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>It&#8217;s this ability to cover the actor or agent of the sentence that makes the passive voice a favorite of people in authority\u2014policemen, city officials, and, yes, teachers. At any rate, you can see how the passive voice can cause wordiness, indirectness, and comprehension problems.<\/p>\n<table>\n<thead>\n<tr>\n<th>Passive<\/th>\n<th>Question<\/th>\n<th>Active<\/th>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td>Your figures <strong>have been reanalyzed<\/strong> in order to determine the coefficient of error. The results <strong>will be announced<\/strong> when the situation is judged appropriate.<\/td>\n<td>Who analyzes, and who will announce?<\/td>\n<td><strong>We<\/strong> have reanalyzed your figures in order to determine the range of error. <strong>We<\/strong> will announce the results when the time is right.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>With the price of housing at such inflated levels, those loans&nbsp;<strong>cannot be paid<\/strong> off in any shorter period of time.<\/td>\n<td>Who can&#8217;t pay the loans off?<\/td>\n<td>With the price of housing at such inflated levels, <strong>homeowners<\/strong> cannot pay off those loans in any shorter period of time.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>After the arm of the hand-held stapler <strong>is pushed<\/strong> down, the blade from the magazine <strong>is raised by<\/strong> the top-leaf spring, and the magazine and base.<\/td>\n<td>Who pushes it down, and who or what raises it?<\/td>\n<td>After <strong>you<\/strong> push down on the arm of the hand-held stapler, <strong>the top-leaf spring<\/strong> raises the blade from the magazine, and the magazine and base move apart.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>However, market share <strong>is being lost by<\/strong> 5.25-inch diskettes as is shown in the graph in Figure 2.<\/td>\n<td>Who or what is losing market share, who or what shows it?<\/td>\n<td>However, <strong>5.25-inch diskettes<\/strong> are losing market share as the graph in <strong>Figure 2<\/strong> shows.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>For many years, federal regulations concerning the use of wire-tapping <strong>have been ignored<\/strong>. Only recently <strong>have<\/strong> tighter restrictions <strong>been imposed<\/strong> on the circumstances that warrant it.<\/td>\n<td>Who has ignored the regulations, and who is now imposing them?<\/td>\n<td>For many years, <strong>government officials<\/strong> have ignored federal regulations concerning the use of wire-tapping. Only recently has<strong> the federal government<\/strong> imposed tighter restrictions on the circumstances that warrant it.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<div class=\"textbox key-takeaways\">\n<h3>Practice<\/h3>\n<p>Convert these passive voice sentences into the active voice. Why is the&nbsp;active voice a better choice for each of these sentences?<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>The process, which was essential for the experiment&#8217;s success, was completed by Enzo.<\/li>\n<li>The cake that I worked on all day long is being eaten by Justin.<\/li>\n<li>After the pattern has been applied to the fabric, work on the embroidery can be started.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><textarea aria-label=\"Your Answer\" rows=\"4\"><\/textarea><\/p>\n<div class=\"qa-wrapper\" style=\"display: block\"><span class=\"show-answer collapsed\" style=\"cursor: pointer\" data-target=\"q529218\">Show Answer<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"q529218\" class=\"hidden-answer\" style=\"display: none\">\n<ol>\n<li>Enzo completed the process, which was essential for the experiment&#8217;s success.\n<ul>\n<li>In the passive sentence, the&nbsp;<em>which<\/em>-clause makes the subject of the sentence excessively long. By&nbsp;converting the sentence to the active voice, the clause is moved to the predicate, which makes the sentence easier to understand.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Justin is eating&nbsp;the cake that I worked on&nbsp;all day long.\n<ul>\n<li>The active voice works better in this sentence for the same reasons as sentence one.&nbsp;It is also likely that you would want to put emphasis on Justin in this sentence. After all, he&#8217;s doing something that is (most likely) inconsiderate.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>After you apply the pattern to the fabric, you can&nbsp;start&nbsp;working on the embroidery.\n<ul>\n<li>This sentence is likely found in&nbsp;a set of instructions, which are usually written directly to the reader. Addressing &#8220;you&#8221; and avoiding the passive voice will make the instructions feel&nbsp;more natural and accessible.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Don&#8217;t get the idea that the passive voice is always wrong and should never be used. It is a good writing technique when we don&#8217;t want to be bothered with an obvious or too-often-repeated subject and when we need to rearrange words in a sentence for emphasis. The next page will focus more on how and why to use the passive voice.<\/p>\n\n\t\t\t <section class=\"citations-section\" role=\"contentinfo\">\n\t\t\t <h3>Candela Citations<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\t <div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t <div id=\"citation-list-101\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t <div class=\"licensing\"><div class=\"license-attribution-dropdown-subheading\">CC licensed content, Original<\/div><ul class=\"citation-list\"><li>Revision and Adaptation. <strong>Provided by<\/strong>: Lumen Learning. <strong>License<\/strong>: <em><a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"license\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by\/4.0\/\">CC BY: Attribution<\/a><\/em><\/li><\/ul><div class=\"license-attribution-dropdown-subheading\">CC licensed content, Shared previously<\/div><ul class=\"citation-list\"><li>Power-Revision Techniques: Sentence-Level Revision. <strong>Authored by<\/strong>: David McMurrey. <strong>Located at<\/strong>: <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.prismnet.com\/~hcexres\/textbook\/hirev2.html#passive\">https:\/\/www.prismnet.com\/~hcexres\/textbook\/hirev2.html#passive<\/a>. <strong>License<\/strong>: <em><a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"license\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by\/4.0\/\">CC BY: Attribution<\/a><\/em><\/li><\/ul><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t <\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t <\/div>\n\t\t\t <\/section>","protected":false},"author":503070,"menu_order":10,"template":"","meta":{"_candela_citation":"[{\"type\":\"cc\",\"description\":\"Power-Revision Techniques: Sentence-Level Revision\",\"author\":\"David McMurrey\",\"organization\":\"\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.prismnet.com\/~hcexres\/textbook\/hirev2.html#passive\",\"project\":\"\",\"license\":\"cc-by\",\"license_terms\":\"\"},{\"type\":\"original\",\"description\":\"Revision and Adaptation\",\"author\":\"\",\"organization\":\"Lumen Learning\",\"url\":\"\",\"project\":\"\",\"license\":\"cc-by\",\"license_terms\":\"\"}]","CANDELA_OUTCOMES_GUID":"","pb_show_title":"on","pb_short_title":"","pb_subtitle":"","pb_authors":[],"pb_section_license":""},"chapter-type":[],"contributor":[],"license":[],"class_list":["post-101","chapter","type-chapter","status-publish","hentry"],"part":91,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-ecc-guidetowriting\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/101","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-ecc-guidetowriting\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-ecc-guidetowriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/chapter"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-ecc-guidetowriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/503070"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-ecc-guidetowriting\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/101\/revisions"}],"part":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-ecc-guidetowriting\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/parts\/91"}],"metadata":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-ecc-guidetowriting\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/101\/metadata\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-ecc-guidetowriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=101"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"chapter-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-ecc-guidetowriting\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapter-type?post=101"},{"taxonomy":"contributor","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-ecc-guidetowriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/contributor?post=101"},{"taxonomy":"license","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-ecc-guidetowriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/license?post=101"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}