Sex and Sexuality

Learning outcomes

  • Examine sexual attitudes and practices around the world, including perspectives on sex education
  • Define sexual orientation and understand the role of homophobia and heterosexism in society
  • Describe how sexual identities are part of the socialization process
A silver ring with the words "My beloved will wait" inscribed.

Figure 1. Purity rings signal that the wearer is waiting until marriage to have sex. This practice is typically associated with a religious belief that sex should only happen between two people who are married. (Photo courtesy of Bibleknowledge/Wikimedia Commons)

When studying sex and sexuality, sociologists focus their attention on sexual attitudes and practices, not on physiology or anatomy. Norms regarding sexual orientation and sexuality vary across cultures and are taught from early ages just like gender role norms. Compared to its Western counterparts, especially European countries, the United States tends to be fairly conservative in its sexual attitudes; however, compared to some other countries’ norms—like Indonesia’s disapproval of premarital sex, Afghanistan’s average age of marriage (20 years of age for women), or the prohibition on masturbation in certain cultures, the U.S. seems quite open in its acceptance of sexuality.

Sex and Sexuality

Sexual Attitudes and Practices

In the area of sexuality, sociologists focus their attention on sexual attitudes and practices, not on physiology or anatomy. Sexuality is viewed as a person’s capacity for sexual feelings. Studying sexual attitudes and practices is a particularly interesting field of sociology because sexual behavior is a cultural universal. Throughout time and place, the vast majority of human beings have participated in sexual relationships (Broude, 2003). Each society, however, interprets sexuality and sexual activity in different ways. Many societies around the world have different attitudes about premarital sex, the age of sexual consent, homosexuality, masturbation, and other sexual behaviors (Widmer, Treas, and Newcomb, 1998). At the same time, sociologists have learned that certain norms are shared among most societies. The incest taboo is present in every society, though which relative is deemed unacceptable for sex varies widely from culture to culture. For example, sometimes the relatives of the father are considered acceptable sexual partners for a woman while the relatives of the mother are not. Likewise, societies generally have norms that reinforce their accepted social system of sexuality

What is considered “normal” in terms of sexual behavior is based on the mores and values of the society. Societies that value monogamy, for example, would likely oppose extramarital sex. Individuals are socialized to sexual attitudes by their family, education system, peers, media, and religion. Historically, religion has been the greatest influence on sexual behavior in most societies, but in more recent years, peers and the media have emerged as two of the strongest influences, particularly among U.S. teens (Potard, Courtois, and Rusch, 2008). Let us take a closer look at sexual attitudes in the around the world and in the United States.

Sexuality around the World

Historically, premarital sex was considered a moral issue which was taboo in many cultures and sinful according to a number of religions, but since about the 1960s, it has become more widely accepted, especially in Western countries. A 2014 Pew study on global morality found that premarital sex was considered particularly unacceptable in “predominantly Muslim nations,” such as Malaysia, Indonesia, Jordan, Pakistan and Egypt, each having over 90% disapproval, while people in Western European countries were the most accepting, with Spain, Germany and France expressing less than 10% disapproval.

As you can see from the figure below, 97% of those in Indonesia found premarital sex unacceptable. Approximately 87% of the population is Muslim.[1] Similarly 95-98% of Pakistanis and 90% of Egyptians are Muslim. Islam has strict prohibitions against sex outside of marriage. Christianity and Roman Catholicism also have strict rules about sex outside of marriage. Approximately 50% of Nigerians are Muslim, 40% are Christian, and 10% adhere to local religions. In the Philippines, 92% of the population identifies as Christian.

The amount of religiosity in a country is not a magical key to understanding sexual norms around the globe, though. Clearly a country’s distinctive history and the people who make up the population today are essential to understanding its norms and values. In other words, we need to utilize our sociological imaginations to understand attitudes about sexuality and sexual behavior.

Premarital Sex: Increasing Worldwide bar graph showing that Indonesia, Pakistan, Egypt, and Nigeria all have over 75% of the population saying the premarital sex is wrong. Next on the list, with under 75% saying premarital sex is unacceptable, come the Philippines, India, China, the global median of 48%, then Israel, the U.S., Russia, Japan, Spain, Germany, and France.

Figure 2. The percentage of people saying the premarital sex is morally unacceptable in various countries. The countries at the top of the list, with the exception of China, are overwhelmingly religious. Image from Joseph Chamie, “Premarital Sex: Increasing Worldwide.” www.ipsnews.net/2018/04/premarital-sex-increasing-worldwide

Many societies that have strict rules against sex outside of marriage are in countries that have low average ages for marriage. Countries with higher average ages for marriage generally have higher income levels and are more liberal in their views on marriage (see Figure 2). 
World map showing the average age of marriage. The lowest is around 20 years old in Afghanistan, some areas in central America, and central Africa. The highest median age is close to 35, and is higher in Brazil, Europe, and Australia. Countries in North America, and central Asia have an average age around 25.

Figure 3. “At What Age Do People Get Married Around the World?” by Alex Mayyasi, Priceonomics. https://priceonomics.com/at-what-age-do-people-get-married-around-the-world/

A gender gap also exists with women, on average, marrying younger than their male counterparts. According to the United Nations, 39 countries have data showing that 20% of women are married by the age of 18 and in 20 of these countries 10% of women are married by age 15, whereas only two countries have 10% of men married before the age of 18.[2]

Of industrialized nations, Sweden is thought to be the most liberal when it comes to attitudes about sex, including sexual practices and sexual openness. The country has very few regulations on sexual images in the media, and sex education, which starts around age six, is a compulsory part of Swedish school curricula. Sweden’s permissive approach to sex has helped the country avoid some of the major social problems associated with sex. For example, rates of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease are among the world’s lowest (Grose, 2007). It would appear that Sweden is a model for the benefits of sexual freedom and frankness. However, implementing Swedish ideals and policies regarding sexuality in other, more politically conservative nations, would likely be met with resistance.

Let’s look at Israel as an example. The state of Israel was established in 1948, and is approximately 75% Jewish, 21% Arab, and 5% other. In Judaism, masturbation (or sexually pleasuring oneself) is strictly forbidden in the Talmud, which is a compilation of centuries of rabbis’ interpretations of the Torah (or the five books of Moses). Jewish women, on the other hand, are not forbidden from masturbation. The reasons are complex, but one interpretation is that ejaculation, or dispelling semen, is a loss of “life energy” or impurities[3]. Many modern Jews do not follow the strict laws of Orthodox Judaism, however, and with many Jews (outside of Orthodox communities) postponing marriage, it is unclear to what extent masturbation is prohibited in contemporary Israel. Sacred Sperm is a 2015 documentary created by religiously observant father Ori Gruder, who examines the various ways in which religiously observant boys and men avoid masturbation.

Further Research

Learn more about gender and sexuality at the Kinsey Institute.

Sexuality in the United States

A bride and groom are shown from behind walking in a park setting.

Figure 4. Sexual practices can differ greatly among groups. Recent trends include the finding that married couples have sex more frequently than do singles and that 27 percent of married couples in their 30s have sex at least twice a week (NSSHB 2010). (Photo courtesy of epSos.de/flickr)

Prior to the 20th century, most American physicians regarded masturbation as “dangerous” and believed that it could cause illness including insanity, epilepsy, acne, weight loss, decreased mental capacity, weakness, lethargy, and early death. This “myth” was not permanently disproved until the book Sex and Human Loving (Masters and Johnson, 1988), even though Alfred Kinsey’s research in the 1940s had established that masturbation was common, with up to 92% of men reporting.[4]

The United States prides itself on being the “land of the free,” but it is rather restrictive when it comes to its citizens’ general attitudes about sex compared to other industrialized nations. In an international survey, 29 percent of U.S. respondents stated that premarital sex is always wrong, while the average among the 24 countries surveyed was 17 percent. Similar discrepancies were found in questions about the condemnation of sex before the age of 16, extramarital sex, and homosexuality, with total disapproval of these acts being 12, 13, and 11 percent higher, respectively, in the United States, than the study’s average (Widmer, Treas, and Newcomb, 1998).

In the 1970s, only 29% of people felt that premarital sex was “not wrong at all,” but that number gradually increased so that by the 1980s and 1990s, 42% of the population said that premarital sex is “not wrong at all.” In 2012, that number increased to 58%. Interestingly, results from the General Social Survey also revealed that although millennials (born 1981-1996) were more accepting of premarital sex, they had fewer sexual partners (average 8) than both Baby Boomers (born 1946-1964) and GenXers (born 1965-1980) who averaged 11 partners.[5]

United States culture is particularly restrictive in its attitudes about sex when it comes to women and sexuality. It is widely believed that men are more sexual than women. In fact, there is a popular notion that men think about sex every seven seconds. One study tracked the number of times that college men and women thought about food, sleep, and sex, and although the numbers varied widely, they found that men thought about sex an average of 19 times per day, compared to 10 times per day for women (Fisher, Moore, and Pittenger, 2011). What the study did not measure was the duration of sexual thoughts for men or for women (or for sleep or food). Also, the frequencies were self-reporting, so female participants might have been less likely to report sexual thoughts due to societal norms surrounding females and sexuality.

Belief that men have—or have the right to—more sexual urges than women creates a double standard. Ira Reiss, a pioneer researcher in the field of sexual studies, defined the double standard as prohibiting premarital sexual intercourse for women but allowing it for men (Reiss, 1960). This standard has evolved into allowing women to engage in premarital sex only within committed love relationships, but allowing men to engage in unconditional sexual relationships with as many partners as they wish (Milhausen and Herold, 1999). Due to this double standard, a woman is likely to have fewer sexual partners in her lifetime than a man. According to a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) survey, the average thirty-five-year-old woman has had three opposite-sex sexual partners while the average thirty-five-year-old man has had twice as many (Centers for Disease Control, 2011).

The future of a society’s sexual attitudes may be somewhat predicted by the values and beliefs that a country’s youth expresses about sex and sexuality. Data from the most recent National Survey of Family Growth reveals that 70 percent of boys and 78 percent of girls ages fifteen to nineteen said they “agree” or “strongly agree” that “it’s okay for an unmarried female to have a child” (National Survey of Family Growth, 2013). In a separate survey, 65 percent of teens stated that they “strongly agreed” or “somewhat agreed” that although waiting until marriage for sex is a nice idea, it’s not realistic (NBC News, 2005). This does not mean that today’s youth have given up traditional sexual values such as monogamy. Nearly all college men (98.9 percent) and women (99.2 percent) who participated in a 2002 study on sexual attitudes stated they wished to settle down with one mutually exclusive sexual partner at some point in their lives, ideally within the next five years (Pedersen et al., 2002).

Sex Education

One of the biggest controversies regarding sexual attitudes is sexual education in U.S. classrooms. Unlike in Sweden, sex education is not required in all public school curricula in the United States. The heart of the controversy is not about whether sex education should be taught in school (studies have shown that only seven percent of U.S. adults oppose sex education in schools); it is about the type of sex education that should be taught.

Much of the debate is over the issue of abstinence. In a 2005 survey, 15 percent of U.S. respondents believed that schools should teach abstinence exclusively and should not provide contraceptives or information on how to obtain them. Forty-six percent believed schools should institute an abstinence-plus approach, which teaches children that abstinence is best but still gives information about protected sex. Thirty-six percent believed teaching about abstinence is not important and that sex education should focus on sexual safety and responsibility (NPR, 2010).

Research suggests that while government officials may still be debating about the content of sexual education in public schools, the majority of U.S. adults are not. Those who advocated abstinence-only programs may be the proverbial squeaky wheel when it comes to this controversy, since they represent only 15 percent of parents. Fifty-five percent of respondents feel giving teens information about sex and how to obtain and use protection will not encourage them to have sexual relations earlier than they would under an abstinence program. About 77 percent think such a curriculum would make teens more likely to practice safe sex now and in the future (NPR, 2004).

Sweden, whose comprehensive sex education program in its public schools educates participants about safe sex, can serve as a model for this approach. The teenage birthrate in Sweden is 7 per 1,000 births, compared with 49 per 1,000 births in the United States. Among fifteen to nineteen year olds, reported cases of gonorrhea in Sweden are nearly 600 times lower than in the United States (Grose, 2007).

Sex Ed in the United States

A sociologist using the sociological perspective would want to look at the correlation between sex ed curricula and outcomes such as teen pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Arkansas has the highest rates of teen pregnancy with 38 births per 1,000 women ages 15-19. What does Arkansas’ sex ed legislation look like? Mississippi, Oklahoma, and Texas are next in line with just under 35 births per 1,000 women ages 15-19. What does sex ed look like in those states? Is there a correlation? What other factors could influence teen pregnancy in these states?

What is the sex ed legislation in your state? Teen pregnancy rates? Instances of STDs? Consider these trends and read this blog post to learn more about the pitfalls of sex education in the United States.

The District of Columbia tops the states with the highest STD rates with just over 55 per 1,00 teens ages 15-24 with Louisiana in 2nd place with just over 40/1,000. Sex Ed is mandated in D.C., and schools provide information on contraceptives there, while in Louisiana, there is no comprehensive sex ed, and there remains an emphasis on abstinence.[6]

Watch this video to learn more about sex education in America.

Think It Over

  • Identify three examples of how U.S. society is heteronormative.
  • Consider the types of derogatory labeling that sociologists study and explain how these might apply to discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.

Sexual Orientation

A person’s sexual orientation is his or her physical, mental, emotional, and sexual attraction to a particular sex (male or female). Sexual orientation is typically divided into at least four categories: heterosexuality, the attraction to individuals of the other sex; homosexuality, the attraction to individuals of the same sex; bisexuality, the attraction to individuals of either sex; and asexuality, no attraction to either sex. Heterosexuals and homosexuals may also be referred to informally as “straight” and “gay,” respectively.

According to current scientific understanding, individuals are usually aware of their sexual orientation between middle childhood and early adolescence (American Psychological Association, 2008). They do not have to participate in sexual activity to be aware of these emotional, romantic, and physical attractions; people can be celibate and still recognize their sexual orientation. Homosexual women (also referred to as lesbians), homosexual men (also referred to as gays), and bisexuals of both genders may have very different experiences of discovering and accepting their sexual orientation. At the point of puberty, some may be able to announce their sexual orientations, while others may be unready or unwilling to make their homosexuality or bisexuality known since it goes against U.S. society’s historical norms (APA, 2008).

People identifying as GLBTQ, sometimes also written as LBGT and LBGTQ, stands for “Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender” (and “Queer” or “Questioning” when the Q is added) were surveyed and were asked about their “coming out” experiences. The average age gay men said they had “first thoughts” that one might be gay was 10 years old, while the average gay man “knew for sure” at 15 years of age and “told someone” at age 18; whereas respondents identifying as lesbian had substantially higher averages with 13, 18, and 21 respectively.[7] This suggests that there is a gender difference in terms of self-identifying and of sharing one’s sexual orientation with others.

Alfred Kinsey was among the first to conceptualize sexuality as a continuum rather than a strict dichotomy of gay or straight. He created a six-point rating scale that ranges from exclusively heterosexual to exclusively homosexual. See the figure below. In his 1948 work Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, Kinsey writes, “Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats … The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects” (Kinsey, 1948).

A bar graph with 0 to 6 on the X-axis labeled 'Varying bisexual responses'. The left side of the graph is labeled 'Exclusively heterosexual', and the right is labeled 'Exclusively homosexual'. A blue shaded area shows an increase in bisexual responses towards the 'Exclusively homosexual' side.

Figure 5. The Kinsey scale indicates that sexuality can be measured by more than just heterosexuality and homosexuality.

Later scholarship by Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick expanded on Kinsey’s notions. She coined the term “homosocial” to oppose “homosexual,” and to describe nonsexual same-sex relations. Sedgwick recognized that in U.S. culture, males are subject to a clear divide between the two sides of this opposition, whereas females enjoy more fluidity. This can be illustrated by the way women in the United States can express homosocial feelings (nonsexual regard for people of the same sex) through hugging, hand-holding, and physical closeness. In contrast, U.S. males refrain from these expressions since they violate the heteronormative expectation that male sexual attraction should be exclusively for females. Research suggests that it is easier for women to violate these norms than men, because men are subject to more social disapproval for being physically close to other men (Sedgwick, 1985). Sedgwick was also one of the founders of Queer Theory, which will be discussed later in this section.

There is no scientific consensus regarding the exact reasons why an individual holds a heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual orientation. Research has been conducted to study the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, but there has been no evidence that links sexual orientation to one factor (APA, 2008).

What is empirically clear is that GLBTQs are subjected to discrimination and violence in schools, the workplace, and the military. Much of this discrimination is based on stereotypes and misinformation. Some is based on heterosexism, which Herek (1990) suggests is both an ideology and a set of institutional practices that privilege heterosexuals and heterosexuality over other sexual orientations. Much like racism and sexism, heterosexism is a systematic disadvantage embedded in our social institutions, offering power to those who conform to hetereosexual orientation while simultaneously disadvantaging those who do not. Homophobia, an extreme or irrational aversion to homosexuals, accounts for further stereotyping and discrimination.

Major legal policies to prevent discrimination based on sexual orientation have only recently been instituted. In 2011, President Obama overturned “don’t ask, don’t tell,” a controversial policy that required homosexuals in the US military to keep their sexuality undisclosed. The Employee Non-Discrimination Act, which ensures workplace equality regardless of sexual orientation, is still pending full government approval. Organizations such as GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) advocate for homosexual rights and encourage governments and citizens to recognize the presence of sexual discrimination and work to prevent it.

Sociologically, it is clear that gay and lesbian couples are negatively affected in states where they are denied the legal right to marriage. In 1996, The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was passed, explicitly limiting the definition of “marriage” to a union between one man and one woman. It also allowed individual states to choose whether or not they recognized same-sex marriages performed in other states. In 2013, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned part of DOMA in Windsor v. United States, and in 2015 same-sex marriage became legal nationwide when the Supreme Court ruled in Obergefell v. Hodges that state-level bans on same-sex marriage were unconstitutional. The court’s rationale was that the denial of marriage licenses to same-sex couples, and the refusal to recognize marriages performed in other jurisdictions, violated the Due Process and Equal Protection clauses of the Fourteenth Amendment of the Constitution.

Watch this brief clip that summarizes what occurred at The Stonewall Inn, located in Greenwich Village in New York City, in 1969 and what is considered the origin of the Gay Liberation Movement:

LGBTQ flags, flowers, and signs are laid on the ground outside the Stonewall Inn as a memorial. Some signs read, "Stop the hate" and "Love conquers hate".

Figure 6. Photo at the Stonewall Inn, taken on pride weekend in 2016, the day after President Obama announced the Stonewall National Monument, and less than two weeks after the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando.

Socialization and Sexual Identity

Like gender role socialization, sexual identities are heavily socialized from early ages. The United States is a heteronormative society, meaning it assumes sexual orientation is biologically determined and unambiguous. Consider that homosexuals are often asked, “When did you know you were gay?” but heterosexuals are rarely asked, “When did you know that you were straight?” (Ryle, 2011). 

Societal acceptance of homosexuality has increased over time, including in the U.S., where 60% of respondents in 2013 said homosexuality should be accepted, as opposed to 49% who said so in 2007. This still ranks well below Canada, Spain, Germany, the Czech Republic, France, Italy, Britain and Argentina, where national acceptance is over 70%[8] A Pew Research poll found that 63% of Americans said homosexuality should be accepted by society in 2016 [9]

A 2017 Gallup poll concluded that 4.5% of adult Americans identified as LGBT with 5.1% of women identifying as LGBT, compared with 3.9% of men. A different survey in 2016, from the Williams Institute, estimated that 0.6% of U.S. adults identify as transgender. Studies from several nations, including the U.S., conducted at varying time periods, have produced a statistical range of 1.2 to 6.8 percent of the adult population identifying as LGBT.

The District of Columbia has the highest GLBTQ population at 8.6%, followed by Vermont with 5.3%, Massachusetts, California, and Oregon, all at 4.9%, and Nevada with 4.8%[10]

Like other aspects of socialization, norms and values related to sexuality and sexual orientation are transmitted through various agents of socialization beginning with the family. We can examine views on sexual orientation and examine other variables such as religion, country of origin, age, political affiliation, and others in order to theorize how values and norms related to sexual orientation operate.

Heteronormative behaviors are reinforced through agents of socialization, including popular movies and TV shows that feature LBGTQ relationships and individuals, which is symbolic of growing cultural awareness of relationships that are not heteronormative. Emmy-award winning comedienne Ellen DeGeneres broke early barriers by starring in a sitcom (Ellen 1994-1998) with herself as a gay female lead who comes out during an episode (April 30, 1997). Roseanne (1988-1997), starring Roseanne Barr, also revolutionarily featured several same sex couples and featured the first gay wedding of a recurring character in the episode “December Bride” (December 12, 1995). Roseanne made a comeback in 2018, but Barr herself was written out of the show and widely ostracized after posting an Islamophobic and racist tweet comparing an African American political operative to an ape.

The Showtime series Shameless (2011-present) has featured several same sex couples, and has intersected class, the military, and religion in its depiction of homosexual central character Ian Gallagher. HBO series Game of Thrones (2011-present) boasts 11 LGBTQ characters, including lesbian Lara Greyjoy and non-gender conforming Brienne of Tarth, among others.

Perhaps the biggest shift in popular culture has been to include LGBTQ characters in children’s series. The Legend of Korra (2012-2014), successor to Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005-2008), features a queer lead and explicitly addresses sexism [11]

In 2012, Tammy Baldwin became the first openly gay politician, and the first Wisconsin woman, to be elected to the United States Senate. Prior to being elected to the Senate, Baldwin had been the first openly gay member of the U.S. Congress, joining the body in 1998.

glossary

double standard:
the concept that prohibits premarital sexual intercourse for women but allows it for men
heteronormative society:
assumes sexual orientation is biologically determined and unambiguous
heterosexism:
an ideology and a set of institutional practices that privilege heterosexuals and heterosexuality over other sexual orientations
sexual orientation:
a person’s physical, mental, emotional, and sexual attraction to a particular sex (male or female)
sexuality:
a person’s capacity for sexual feelings
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  3. Dorff, E. "Masturbation: A touchy subject." My Jewish Learning. https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/masturbation-a-touchy-subject/. ↵
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  6. Woodward, Alex. 2017. "The facts of life: the state of sex ed in Louisiana," Gambit. https://www.theadvocate.com/gambit/new_orleans/news/article_1db9b66a-ff59-5e49-87f2-78a43e418b43.html. ↵
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  9. Brown. A. 2017. "Five key findings." Pew Research Center. http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/06/13/5-key-findings-about-lgbt-americans/. ↵
  10. Gates, G. 2017. "Vermont leads states LGBT identification," Gallop Social and Public Issues. https://news.gallup.com/poll/203513/vermont-leads-states-lgbt-identification.aspx. ↵
  11. Necessary, T. "10 Kids Shows." Pride. https://www.pride.com/geek/2018/9/18/10-modern-kids-shows-awesome-queer-characters#media-gallery-media-10. ↵