Parallelism
Standardize the parallelism in the following passage. Remember, non-parallel items can be grammatically correct, but making them parallel will improve your writing style. Type your correct answer in the text frame below:
“The Bone Wars” refers to a period of intense fossil speculation and discovery in American history (1872–1892). The wars were marked by a heated rivalry between Edward Drinker Cope and Othniel Charles Marsh. At one time, Edward and Marsh were amicable: they even named species after each other. Over time, however, their relationship soured, likely due in part to their strong personalities. Cope was known to be pugnacious and possessed a quick temper. Marsh was slower, more methodical, and introverted. Eventually, each of the two paleontologists would resort to underhanded methods to try to out-compete the other in the field, resorting to bribery, theft, and destroying bones.
By the end of the Bone Wars, both Cope and Marsh were financially and socially ruined by their attempts to disgrace each other, but their contributions to science and the field of paleontology were massive. Several of Cope’s and Marsh’s discoveries are the most well-known of dinosaurs: Triceratops, Allosaurus, Diplodocus, and Stegosaurus. Their cumulative discoveries defined the then-emerging field of paleontology. Before Cope’s and Marsh’s discoveries, there were only nine named species of dinosaur in North America. Judging by pure numbers, Marsh “won” the Bone Wars: Cope discovered a total of 56 new dinosaur species, but Marsh had found 80.
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Here are the sentences that have issues with parallelism, as well as suggestions for their revision.
- At one time, Edward and Marsh were amicable: they even named species after each other.
- In this sentence, there is both a first name and a last name used to identify different people. Unless one person commonly goes by their last name while the other goes by their first, you should use first or last names; not a mix of the two: “Cope and Marsh were. . . “
- Cope was known to be pugnacious and possessed a quick temper.
- “Was known to be” and “possessed” are both past-tense verbs, but one is a perfect tense (known) while the other isn’t. To make the sentence more parallel, you would change it to something like “Cope was known to be pugnacious and to possess a quick temper” or “Cope was pugnacious and possessed a quick temper.”
- Marsh was slower, more methodical, and introverted.
- The first two adjectives are comparatives, while introverted is not. A more parallel version of the sentence would read: “Marsh was slower, more methodical, and more introverted.”
- Eventually, each of the two paleontologists would resort to underhanded methods to try to out-compete the other in the field, resorting to bribery, theft, and destroying bones.
- The first two items are nouns and the third is a participle. A more parallel version of the sentence would read: “bribery, theft, and the destruction of bones.” You could also write, “bribing, thieving, and destroying bones.”
- Judging by pure numbers, Marsh “won” the Bone Wars: Cope discovered a total of 56 new dinosaur species, but Marsh had found 80.
- Saying “Marsh found 80” instead of using had found is a better fit for parallel structure.
Academic Sentences
Look at the following items. Identify and address any issues with parallelism.
- Low self-esteem can manifest itself in various behaviors. Some individuals may become paralyzed at the prospect of making a decision. Other individuals may bend their wills to others’ in order to keep the peace. Yet another symptom is the retreat from society as a whole—to become isolated.
- The influence of genetics on human behavior has been shown through studies of twins who were separated at birth. Not only do these sets of individuals share many physical characteristics, but they also tend to have the same sort of interests and biases and utilize similar mental processes.
- Nocturne in Black and Gold (The Falling Rocket) by James Abbott McNeil Whistler is very emblematic of the impressionist movement: its dark colors, contrast, and lack of definite form reflect the attitudes of the day.
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- The first two sentences that identify behaviors of low self-esteem both start with the construction adjective + individuals + may verb. Changing the third sentence to match this construction will create a stronger introduction to the paper:
- Low self-esteem can manifest itself in various behaviors. Some individuals may become paralyzed at the prospect of making a decision. Other individuals may bend their wills to others’ in order to keep the peace. Yet other individuals may retreat from society as a whole and become isolated.
- The ending clause “they also tend to have the same sort of interests and biases and utilize similar mental processes” could be more parallel (and more succinct) than it currently is. You could revise it to something like these:
- they also tend to have the same sort of interests, biases, and mental processes
- they also tend to have similar interests, biases, and mental processes
If you wanted to make the whole sentence more parallel, you may want to adjust the sentence to match the structure of the phrase “Not only do these sets of individuals share many physical characteristics”:
- Not only do these sets of individuals share many physical characteristics, but they also share similar interests, biases, and mental processes.
- The items in “its dark colors, contrast, and lack of definite form” don’t quite match up. While they are all nouns, each item has a different structure (adjective noun, noun, noun + of + adjective noun). Here are a couple suggestions for more parallel items:
- Its depth of color, intensity of contrast, and lack of form reflect the attitudes of the day.
- Its dark colors, intense contrast, and indefinite forms reflect the attitudes of the day.
