{"id":692,"date":"2019-11-11T15:49:08","date_gmt":"2019-11-11T15:49:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-lgbtq-studies\/chapter\/__unknown__-5\/"},"modified":"2019-12-16T17:39:29","modified_gmt":"2019-12-16T17:39:29","slug":"profile-how-one-day-at-a-time-avoids-negative-queer-tropes","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-lgbtq-studies\/chapter\/profile-how-one-day-at-a-time-avoids-negative-queer-tropes\/","title":{"raw":"Profile: How One Day at a Time Avoids Negative Queer Tropes","rendered":"Profile: How One Day at a Time Avoids Negative Queer Tropes"},"content":{"raw":"
\r\n

Popular media, for better or worse, helps to teach audiences what is valued, and what is possible. Inclusive representation, or portrayals of people with diverse bodies and identities in the media, can influence not only how we see ourselves, but also how we feel and behave toward other people. In \u201cThe Importance of Social Media When it Comes to LGBTQ Kids Feeling Seen,\u201d Amber Leventry explains that \u201c[coverage] of topics and people that have historically been considered taboo can take back the emotional burden of LGBTQ people by educating people about gender, pronouns, gender expression and sexual orientation.\u201d Various studies have shown that when we see sympathetic depictions of m<\/strong>arginalized<\/strong> groups, our opinions of those groups improve (Schiappa, Gregg, & Hewes, 2005). One study found that people are more accepting of transgender individuals after seeing them depicted on-screen, which could have positive implications for persuading the public to support policies that combat transgender discrimination (Flores et al., 2018). Representation serves to educate, familiarize, and also to develop empathy for people we may otherwise be biased toward.<\/p>\r\n

Representation<\/strong> is important in itself, but it needs to be handled responsibly. Reliance on reductive stereotypes or tropes can reinforce harmful messages despite the best intentions. There is more queer<\/strong> representation on television and in media today than ever before, which is an incredible achievement. GLAAD\u2019s annual \u201cWhere We Are on TV\u201d report found a larger than ever percentage of not only queer characters on network, cable, and streaming television, but also an increase in queer characters of color: from 2018-2019, 8.8% of regular series characters were LGBTQ (up from 6.4%), and queer characters of color outnumbered white queer characters for the first time (Deerwater, 2018). But sometimes we celebrate too soon. LGBTQ visibility is important, but not always an advancement in and of itself. While yes, there are more, queer television characters are often limited to a few categories: \u201csafe\u201d and celibate, deeply pathologized<\/strong>, or otherwise preoccupied with homophobia<\/strong>, to the detriment of their mental health and development. While considering contemporary examples of LGBTQ+ representation in media, we will explore how the Netflix series One Day at a Time<\/em> showcases nuanced<\/strong> queer characters in a way that offers drama, empowers queer youth, and provides learning opportunities and positive depictions for both queer viewers, allies, and allies-to-be.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_819\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"256\"]\"\" Isabella Gomez plays Elena, a lesbian latina teenager, on One Day at a Time<\/em>.[\/caption]\r\n

One Day at a Time<\/em> focuses on a Latinx family that faces multifaceted issues and challenges. The grandmother is a devout Catholic from Cuba, and part of her narrative arc is becoming a U.S. citizen at a time when Latin American immigration is a painfully charged topic in the United States. Her daughter, Penelope Alvarez, is a single mother as well as a war veteran who suffers from depression and PTSD. Penelope struggles to become a nurse practitioner and often deals with racism and sexism in the doctor\u2019s office where she works. Most importantly for this chapter, Penelope\u2019s daughter Elena is a lesbian teenager. In order to explain why Elena is a noteworthy LGBTQ character on television, we need to discuss a trope<\/strong> that is regularly featured in queer naratives: plot archs that center homphobia and \u201ccalling out<\/strong>\u201d bigotry.<\/p>\r\n

Most shows that explore homophobia or transphobia resort to the \u201ccalling out\u201d method of dealing with discrimination. To call someone out is to expose their problematic behavior, often in a stern way that allows onlookers to also judge them. In \u201cSpeaking Up Without Tearing Down, Loretta J. Ross writes, \u201c[calling] out happens when we point out a mistake, not to address or rectify the damage, but instead to publicly shame the offender. In calling out, a person or group uses tactics like humiliation, shunning, scapegoating<\/strong> or gossip to dominate others\u201d (Ross, 2019). The TV network Freeform has perfected the call-out scene. In their hit show Pretty Little Liars<\/em>, teenager Emily Fields has a relatively conservative mother who is horrified to learn that her daughter identifies as a lesbian. Pam Fields\u2019s journey to acceptance begins when her own husband, who fights in the U.S. military, gently chides her for judging their daughter so harshly: \u201cI don\u2019t like this, but [Emily] is struggling with this; I can see it...She is alive and healthy, and after everything I\u2019ve seen, alive and healthy counts for a lot, believe me\u201d (Norman, 2011). The turning point for Pam comes at an even more severe calling out session, when multiple members of Emily\u2019s high school English faculty confront a belligerent father who insists that Emily only won her spot on the swim team due to the school\u2019s \u201cgay agenda.\u201d Pam\u2019s moment of redemption is not, as we might hope, an embracing of Emily on her own terms, or a realization that nothing has changed or broken about her daughter or their relationship; instead we get a moment of protective instinct that pits Pam against this other parents\u2019 even more egregious form of homophobia: \u201cMy daughter never got anything she didn\u2019t earn. That\u2019s how we raised her. That is who she is. So you drop this...or I\u2019ll show you what a real<\/em> agenda is\u201d (Grossman, 2011). The audience does not get to witness a substantial transformation from Pam\u2014instead, at best, we see her realize that her daughter is subjected to a lot of pain and anger in the outside world, and she does not want to add anymore: \u201cEmily\u2014I still don\u2019t understand, but I love you. You are my child, and nobody hurts my child\u201d (Grossman, 2011). Before she can apologize specifically for her prejudice<\/strong>, Emily stops her with a hug. The gesture suggests that Pam has done enough hard work for the day and that Emily should acknowledge her for such.<\/p>\r\n

Pam and Emily have a very moving relationship throughout the series, but Pretty Little Liars <\/em>erases the discord in the family about Emily\u2019s queer identity by contrasting Pam\u2019s tortured religious homophobia with the privileged<\/strong> white man\u2019s supposedly much worse homophobia. Pam saying, essentially, \u201cmy love for you and desire to protect you matters more to me than my misgivings about your sexuality\u201d is not the same as saying, \u201cI am sorry that I had an unhealthy reaction that made you feel unsafe and less loved. I am your mother and I love you the same now as I did when you were born.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

When the message is always and only, \u201cI love you more than I hate queerness,\u201d the bar for compassion and acceptance remains very low. Not only does it magically let family members and friends off the hook for problematic core beliefs, but it reinforces the idea that an LGBTQ teen\u2019s happiness rests entirely on the benevolent epiphanies of the prejudiced people in her life. It necessitates that bigots come around in order for the character to have a happy ending. It also often makes the LGBTQ teen character take responsibility for or accept the homophobia of adults.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_828\" align=\"alignright\" width=\"267\"]\"\" Justina Machado plays mother Penelope Alvarez in\u00a0One Day at a Time.\u00a0<\/em>[\/caption]\r\n

One Day at a Time<\/em> moves away from the \u201ccalling out\u201d narrative in favor of \u201ccalling in<\/strong>.\u201d Calling in<\/em> usually involves a more sympathetic way of addressing problematic behavior: \u201cCall-ins are agreements between people who work together to consciously help each other expand their perspectives. They encourage us to recognize our requirements for growth, to admit our mistakes and to commit to doing better\u201d (Ross, 2019). The emphasis is on educating and changing an individual, rather than shaming them. Elena\u2019s mother, Penelope, is not onboard when she first comes out as a lesbian. The first refreshing and positive aspect is that the calling in is not <\/em>Elena\u2019s responsibility.<\/em> In Season 1, episode 11, \u201cPride and Prejudice,\u201d Penelope makes every effort to support her daughter\u2019s coming out. The audience realizes that Penelope is battling her own homophobia, but at no point does she make that Elena\u2019s problem. Penelope notices that out of everyone in their life\u2014her other child, a close family friend, her own mother\u2014she is the only one struggling with Elena\u2019s news: \u201cI feel really weird about this Elena stuff...I hate that I feel weird about it but I do.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

While Penelope is figuring out her hang-ups about her daughter being a lesbian, she knows to put on a supportive face because \u201c[her] reaction could affect Elena for the rest of her life,\u201d and instead turns to trustworthy adults for help. She meets with a friend, Ramona, who is an out lesbian, to talk about her reservations: \u201cI\u2019m a monster. My daughter came out to me and I am not totally okay with it. And I hate myself for it.\u201d Often this conversation could turn into Ramona making Penelope feel ashamed of herself; or guilting her into magically getting over her homophobia because she wants to prove she is a good person. Instead, Ramona fields Penelope\u2019s questions: \u201cHow do I know if a girl coming over is a friend or more? Does she all of a sudden think men are disgusting?\u201d and validates her process of coming to terms with the loss of heteronormativity<\/strong> in her life: \u201cYou\u2019re just not there yet. It\u2019s a complete adjustment in how you see your daughter. Your heart is okay; you just need a little time waiting for your [mind] to catch up.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n

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Watch<\/h3>\r\nThe actors of One Day at a Time<\/em> discuss Elena's coming out story.\r\n\r\n[embed]https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/AoXjnTHwaZw[\/embed]\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n

Aside from the inclusive coming out narrative, Elena serves to educate audiences about queer identity and the gender binary<\/strong>. The first season of One Day at a Time<\/em> focuses heavily on Elena\u2019s upcoming quincea\u00f1era (or \u201cquince\u201d\/\u201cquinces\u201d for short) and how or if the occasion will reflect that she is gay. According to My Quince: The Ultimate Quince Guide<\/em>, \u201cThis coming-of-age ceremony plays an important part in preserving the heritage and cultures of the individual. Similar to the process of planning a wedding, the quince requires the same amount of effort, time, and proper preparation in order to make the person\u2019s birthday a memorable event.\u201d The event traditionally celebrates a teenage girl\u2019s emergence into \u201cwomanhood\u201d and marriageability at the age of 15\u2014but now the family also has to reckon with Elena\u2019s expression of womanhood not matching the underlying message and expectations of a traditional quincea\u00f1era<\/strong>. According to Marybel Gonzalez, \u201cthe quincea\u00f1era marks an important milestone in a girl\u2019s life. Part birthday party, part rite of passage, it symbolizes a girl\u2019s entrance into womanhood when turning 15, traditionally showcasing her purity and readiness for marriage.\u201d It is similar to debutante balls, a tradition of upper-class Southern white society in the United States, that signifies that a teen girl is ready to be married to the best suitor. Elena\u2019s resistance to the event\u2019s heteronormativity manifests as concern about her dress as well as the role of her relatively absent father, who is supposed to close the event with a father-daughter dance<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_829\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"260\"]\"\" Rita Moreno plays Elena's religious yet supportive grandmother.[\/caption]\r\n

Elena\u2019s grandmother happens to be a great seamstress and insists on making Elena\u2019s dress; the only problem is the grandmother\u2019s best design does not seem to be very moving to Elena. In Season 1 episode 13, \u201cQuinces,\u201d the grandmother confronts Elena about why she is not yet excited about her ensemble. Elena suggests, \u201c[maybe] what you\u2019re picking up on is that I\u2019m not really comfortable wearing a dress...What about instead of heels I wear my Doc Martens?\u201d Elena confirms that she wants a \u201cfeminist quinces\u201d that undoes some of the heterosexis<\/strong>t <\/strong>traditions. Ultimately the grandmother redesigns the dress and reveals it to Elena the night before the quinces. The audience does not see it yet, but we know she did something important to the dress that is truer to Elena\u2019s gender expression<\/strong>. When she is finally revealed at the event, we see that the grandmother eliminated the \u201cdress\u201d portion entirely, so that now the glamorous glittering bodice of the gown is a top paired with a white suit. She is wearing more \u201cmasculine\u201d pants, but with a generous amount of feminine sparkle.<\/p>\r\n

One concession Elena makes is that she dances with a boy, presumably for the benefit of her father, who is still unhappy with Elena coming out as well as the unconventional interpretations of her quincea\u00f1era. Dancing with a boy while being dressed similarly to him actually highlights Elena\u2019s queerness, and it is at this point that the father decides to leave the quinces and not participate in the father-daughter dance. Note that during this episode, the father\u2019s homophobia is not centered. Beyond Penelope entreating him to show up at the quinces, no undue amount of energy is spent trying to guilt-trip the father into accepting Elena or changing his mind about LGBTQ identities. No one realizes he is gone until the moment the dance is supposed to start. Elena is sad to see he is gone, but that sadness could have as much to do with the familiar disappointment of being let down by her father as his homophobia. She is immediately joined on the dance floor by her mother\u2014who is a more fitting choice in any case, since she has been the sole provider for the family. Penelope says simply, \u201cI got you,\u201d as she holds Elena, before they are soon joined by the closest family and friends who make up Elena\u2019s loving support system (Fryman, 2017).<\/p>\r\n

One Day at a Time<\/em> does not present a utopia where everyone is accepted without conflict. But instead it refuses to pathologize queerness or to divide the world between people who love you and people who hate you. It educates viewers on the dilemmas surrounding queer brown immigrant youth, and demonstrates an alternative possibility where adults recognize their bigotry<\/strong> as their own problem, and the happiness of a young LGBTQ person does not rest entirely on the acceptance of their family.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

References<\/strong><\/h2>\r\n

Buckley, Norman (Director). (2011, January 3). Moments Later. [Television series episode] In I. Marlene King (Executive Producer), Pretty Little Liars<\/em> [Streaming video]. Retrieved from\u00a0http:\/\/www.cwtv.com<\/a><\/p>\r\n

Deerwater, R. (2018, October 30). Color of Change, Women\u2019s Media Center, RespectAbility, NHMC react to GLAAD\u2019s \u2018Where We Are on TV\u2019 findings. GLAAD<\/em>. Retrieved from https:\/\/www.glaad.org\/blog\/color-change-women%E2%80%99s-media-center-respectability-nhmc-react-glaad<\/a><\/p>\r\n

Flores, A. R., Haider-Markel, D. P., Lewis, D. C., Miller, P. R., Tadlock, B. L., & Taylor, J. K. (2018). Transgender Prejudice Reduction and Opinions on Transgender Rights: Results from a Mediation Analysis on Experimental Data. Research & Politics<\/em>, 5(1).<\/p>\r\n

Fryman, Pamela (Director). (2017, January 6). Quinces. [Television series episode] In Gloria Calder\u00f3n Kellett (Executive Producer), One Day at a Time<\/em> [Streaming video]. Retrieved from http:\/\/www.netflix.com<\/a><\/p>\r\n

Gonzalez, M. (2016, June 4). The Quincea\u00f1era, a Rite of Passage in Transition. The New York <\/em>Times<\/em>. Retrieved from\u00a0https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2016\/06\/05\/nyregion\/the-quinceanera-a-rite-of-passage-in-transition.html<\/a><\/p>\r\n

Grossman, Michael (Director). (2011, February 14). The New Normal. [Television series episode] In I. Marlene King (Executive Producer), Pretty Little Liars<\/em> [Streaming video]. Retrieved from http:\/\/www.cwtv.com<\/a><\/p>\r\n

Lee, B. (2018, October 31). LGBT Cinema Still Needs More Happy Endings. The Guardian<\/em>. Retrieved from\u00a0https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/film\/commentisfree\/2018\/oct\/31\/lgbt-cinema-still-needs-more-happy-endings<\/a><\/p>\r\n

Mendoza, Linda (Director). (2017, January 6). Pride and Prejudice. [Television series episode] In Gloria Calder\u00f3n Kellett (Executive Producer), One Day at a Time<\/em> [Streaming video]. Retrieved from http:\/\/www.netflix.com<\/a><\/p>\r\n

Rosenberg, A. (2010, October 13). \u201cModern Family\u201d and Gay Marriage: It\u2019s Complicated.\u00a0The Atlantic<\/em>. Retrieved from\u00a0https:\/\/www.theatlantic.com\/entertainment\/archive\/2010\/10\/modern-family-and-gay-marriage-its-complicated\/64397\/<\/a><\/p>\r\n

Ross, L. J. (2019). Speaking Up Without Tearing Down. Teaching Tolerance<\/em>. Retrieved from\u00a0https:\/\/www.tolerance.org\/magazine\/spring-2019\/speaking-up-without-tearing-down<\/a><\/p>\r\n

Santana, K. (2007). The Quince\u00f1era Rising: Self Discoveries on the Heels of City and Rural Town. Human Architecture: Journal of the Sociology of Self-Knowledge<\/em>, 5<\/em>(2), 83\u201390.<\/p>\r\n

Schiappa, E., Gregg, P. B., & Hewes, D. E. (2005). The Parasocial Contact Hypothesis.\u00a0Communication Monographs<\/em>, 72<\/em>(1), 92\u2013115.<\/p>\r\n

What is a Quincea\u00f1era and Why is it so Important? (2015, July 23). Retrieved from My Quince website: https:\/\/www.myquincemagazine.com\/what-is-a-quinceanera-and-why-is-it-so-important\/<\/a><\/p>\r\n\r\n<\/div>","rendered":"

\n

Popular media, for better or worse, helps to teach audiences what is valued, and what is possible. Inclusive representation, or portrayals of people with diverse bodies and identities in the media, can influence not only how we see ourselves, but also how we feel and behave toward other people. In \u201cThe Importance of Social Media When it Comes to LGBTQ Kids Feeling Seen,\u201d Amber Leventry explains that \u201c[coverage] of topics and people that have historically been considered taboo can take back the emotional burden of LGBTQ people by educating people about gender, pronouns, gender expression and sexual orientation.\u201d Various studies have shown that when we see sympathetic depictions of m<\/strong>arginalized<\/strong> groups, our opinions of those groups improve (Schiappa, Gregg, & Hewes, 2005). One study found that people are more accepting of transgender individuals after seeing them depicted on-screen, which could have positive implications for persuading the public to support policies that combat transgender discrimination (Flores et al., 2018). Representation serves to educate, familiarize, and also to develop empathy for people we may otherwise be biased toward.<\/p>\n

Representation<\/strong> is important in itself, but it needs to be handled responsibly. Reliance on reductive stereotypes or tropes can reinforce harmful messages despite the best intentions. There is more queer<\/strong> representation on television and in media today than ever before, which is an incredible achievement. GLAAD\u2019s annual \u201cWhere We Are on TV\u201d report found a larger than ever percentage of not only queer characters on network, cable, and streaming television, but also an increase in queer characters of color: from 2018-2019, 8.8% of regular series characters were LGBTQ (up from 6.4%), and queer characters of color outnumbered white queer characters for the first time (Deerwater, 2018). But sometimes we celebrate too soon. LGBTQ visibility is important, but not always an advancement in and of itself. While yes, there are more, queer television characters are often limited to a few categories: \u201csafe\u201d and celibate, deeply pathologized<\/strong>, or otherwise preoccupied with homophobia<\/strong>, to the detriment of their mental health and development. While considering contemporary examples of LGBTQ+ representation in media, we will explore how the Netflix series One Day at a Time<\/em> showcases nuanced<\/strong> queer characters in a way that offers drama, empowers queer youth, and provides learning opportunities and positive depictions for both queer viewers, allies, and allies-to-be.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Isabella Gomez plays Elena, a lesbian latina teenager, on One Day at a Time<\/em>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

One Day at a Time<\/em> focuses on a Latinx family that faces multifaceted issues and challenges. The grandmother is a devout Catholic from Cuba, and part of her narrative arc is becoming a U.S. citizen at a time when Latin American immigration is a painfully charged topic in the United States. Her daughter, Penelope Alvarez, is a single mother as well as a war veteran who suffers from depression and PTSD. Penelope struggles to become a nurse practitioner and often deals with racism and sexism in the doctor\u2019s office where she works. Most importantly for this chapter, Penelope\u2019s daughter Elena is a lesbian teenager. In order to explain why Elena is a noteworthy LGBTQ character on television, we need to discuss a trope<\/strong> that is regularly featured in queer naratives: plot archs that center homphobia and \u201ccalling out<\/strong>\u201d bigotry.<\/p>\n

Most shows that explore homophobia or transphobia resort to the \u201ccalling out\u201d method of dealing with discrimination. To call someone out is to expose their problematic behavior, often in a stern way that allows onlookers to also judge them. In \u201cSpeaking Up Without Tearing Down, Loretta J. Ross writes, \u201c[calling] out happens when we point out a mistake, not to address or rectify the damage, but instead to publicly shame the offender. In calling out, a person or group uses tactics like humiliation, shunning, scapegoating<\/strong> or gossip to dominate others\u201d (Ross, 2019). The TV network Freeform has perfected the call-out scene. In their hit show Pretty Little Liars<\/em>, teenager Emily Fields has a relatively conservative mother who is horrified to learn that her daughter identifies as a lesbian. Pam Fields\u2019s journey to acceptance begins when her own husband, who fights in the U.S. military, gently chides her for judging their daughter so harshly: \u201cI don\u2019t like this, but [Emily] is struggling with this; I can see it…She is alive and healthy, and after everything I\u2019ve seen, alive and healthy counts for a lot, believe me\u201d (Norman, 2011). The turning point for Pam comes at an even more severe calling out session, when multiple members of Emily\u2019s high school English faculty confront a belligerent father who insists that Emily only won her spot on the swim team due to the school\u2019s \u201cgay agenda.\u201d Pam\u2019s moment of redemption is not, as we might hope, an embracing of Emily on her own terms, or a realization that nothing has changed or broken about her daughter or their relationship; instead we get a moment of protective instinct that pits Pam against this other parents\u2019 even more egregious form of homophobia: \u201cMy daughter never got anything she didn\u2019t earn. That\u2019s how we raised her. That is who she is. So you drop this…or I\u2019ll show you what a real<\/em> agenda is\u201d (Grossman, 2011). The audience does not get to witness a substantial transformation from Pam\u2014instead, at best, we see her realize that her daughter is subjected to a lot of pain and anger in the outside world, and she does not want to add anymore: \u201cEmily\u2014I still don\u2019t understand, but I love you. You are my child, and nobody hurts my child\u201d (Grossman, 2011). Before she can apologize specifically for her prejudice<\/strong>, Emily stops her with a hug. The gesture suggests that Pam has done enough hard work for the day and that Emily should acknowledge her for such.<\/p>\n

Pam and Emily have a very moving relationship throughout the series, but Pretty Little Liars <\/em>erases the discord in the family about Emily\u2019s queer identity by contrasting Pam\u2019s tortured religious homophobia with the privileged<\/strong> white man\u2019s supposedly much worse homophobia. Pam saying, essentially, \u201cmy love for you and desire to protect you matters more to me than my misgivings about your sexuality\u201d is not the same as saying, \u201cI am sorry that I had an unhealthy reaction that made you feel unsafe and less loved. I am your mother and I love you the same now as I did when you were born.\u201d<\/p>\n

When the message is always and only, \u201cI love you more than I hate queerness,\u201d the bar for compassion and acceptance remains very low. Not only does it magically let family members and friends off the hook for problematic core beliefs, but it reinforces the idea that an LGBTQ teen\u2019s happiness rests entirely on the benevolent epiphanies of the prejudiced people in her life. It necessitates that bigots come around in order for the character to have a happy ending. It also often makes the LGBTQ teen character take responsibility for or accept the homophobia of adults.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Justina Machado plays mother Penelope Alvarez in\u00a0One Day at a Time.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

One Day at a Time<\/em> moves away from the \u201ccalling out\u201d narrative in favor of \u201ccalling in<\/strong>.\u201d Calling in<\/em> usually involves a more sympathetic way of addressing problematic behavior: \u201cCall-ins are agreements between people who work together to consciously help each other expand their perspectives. They encourage us to recognize our requirements for growth, to admit our mistakes and to commit to doing better\u201d (Ross, 2019). The emphasis is on educating and changing an individual, rather than shaming them. Elena\u2019s mother, Penelope, is not onboard when she first comes out as a lesbian. The first refreshing and positive aspect is that the calling in is not <\/em>Elena\u2019s responsibility.<\/em> In Season 1, episode 11, \u201cPride and Prejudice,\u201d Penelope makes every effort to support her daughter\u2019s coming out. The audience realizes that Penelope is battling her own homophobia, but at no point does she make that Elena\u2019s problem. Penelope notices that out of everyone in their life\u2014her other child, a close family friend, her own mother\u2014she is the only one struggling with Elena\u2019s news: \u201cI feel really weird about this Elena stuff…I hate that I feel weird about it but I do.\u201d<\/p>\n

While Penelope is figuring out her hang-ups about her daughter being a lesbian, she knows to put on a supportive face because \u201c[her] reaction could affect Elena for the rest of her life,\u201d and instead turns to trustworthy adults for help. She meets with a friend, Ramona, who is an out lesbian, to talk about her reservations: \u201cI\u2019m a monster. My daughter came out to me and I am not totally okay with it. And I hate myself for it.\u201d Often this conversation could turn into Ramona making Penelope feel ashamed of herself; or guilting her into magically getting over her homophobia because she wants to prove she is a good person. Instead, Ramona fields Penelope\u2019s questions: \u201cHow do I know if a girl coming over is a friend or more? Does she all of a sudden think men are disgusting?\u201d and validates her process of coming to terms with the loss of heteronormativity<\/strong> in her life: \u201cYou\u2019re just not there yet. It\u2019s a complete adjustment in how you see your daughter. Your heart is okay; you just need a little time waiting for your [mind] to catch up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Watch<\/h3>\n

The actors of One Day at a Time<\/em> discuss Elena’s coming out story.<\/p>\n