{"id":336,"date":"2014-09-28T02:43:08","date_gmt":"2014-09-28T02:43:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/courses.candelalearning.com\/lifespandevelopment1x1\/?post_type=chapter&#038;p=336"},"modified":"2016-03-16T18:00:52","modified_gmt":"2016-03-16T18:00:52","slug":"psychosocial-development-2","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-lifespandevelopment2\/chapter\/psychosocial-development-2\/","title":{"raw":"Psychosocial Development","rendered":"Psychosocial Development"},"content":{"raw":"<h3><strong>Gaining Adult Status<\/strong><\/h3>\r\nMany of the developmental tasks of early adulthood involve becoming part of the adult world and gaining independence.\u00a0Young adults sometimes complain that they are not treated with respect-especially if they are put in positions of authority over older workers.\u00a0Consequently, young adults may emphasize their age to gain credibility from those who are even slightly younger.\u00a0\u201cYou\u2019re only 23?\u00a0I\u2019m 27!\u201d a young adult might exclaim.\u00a0(Note:\u00a0This kind of statement is much less likely to come from someone in their 40s!).\r\n\r\nThe focus of early adulthood is often on the future.\u00a0Many aspects of life are on hold while people go to school, go to work, and prepare for a brighter future.\u00a0There may be a belief that the hurried life now lived will improve \u2018as soon as I finish school\u2019 or \u2018as soon as I\u00a0get promoted\u2019 or \u2018as soon as the children get a little older.\u2019\u00a0As a result, time may seem to pass rather quickly.\u00a0The day consists of meeting many demands that these tasks bring.\u00a0The incentive for working so hard is that it will all result in better future.\r\n<h2>Levinson\u2019s Theory<\/h2>\r\nIn 1978, Daniel Levinson published a book entitled\u00a0<em>The Seasons of a Man\u2019s Life<\/em> in which he presented a theory of development in adulthood.\u00a0Levinson\u2019s work was based on in-depth interviews with 40 men between the ages of 35-45.\u00a0He later conducted interviews with women as well (1996).\u00a0According to Levinson, these adults have an image of the future that motivates them.\u00a0This image is called \u201cthe dream\u201d and for the men interviewed, it was a dream of how their career paths would progress and where they would be at midlife.\u00a0Women held a \u201csplit dream\u201d; an image of the future in both work and family life and a concern with the timing and coordination of the two.\u00a0Dreams are very motivating.\u00a0Dreams of a home bring excitement to couples as they look, save, and fantasize about how life will be.\u00a0Dreams of careers motivate students to continue in school as they fantasize about how much their hard work will pay off.\u00a0Dreams of playgrounds on a summer day inspire would be parents. \u00a0A dream is perfect and retains that perfection as long as it remains in the future.\u00a0But as the realization of it moves closer, it may or may not measure up to its image.\u00a0If it does, all is well.\u00a0But if it does not, the image must be replaced or modified.\u00a0And so, in adulthood, plans are made, efforts follow, and plans are reevaluated.\u00a0This creating and recreating characterizes Levinson\u2019s theory.\r\n\r\nLevinson\u2019s stages are presented below (Levinson, 1978).\u00a0He suggests that period of transition last about 5 years and periods of \u201csettling down\u201d last about 7 years.\u00a0The ages presented below are based on life in the middle class about 30 years ago.\u00a0Think about how these ages and transitions might be different today.\r\n<ul>\r\n\t<li><span class=\"tight\">Early adult transition (17-22): Leaving home, leaving family; making first choices about career and education<\/span><\/li>\r\n\t<li><span class=\"tight\">Entering the adult world (22-28): Committing to an occupation, defining goals, finding intimate relationships<\/span><\/li>\r\n\t<li><span class=\"tight\">Age 30 transition (28-33): Reevaluating those choices and perhaps making modifications or changing one\u2019s attitude toward love and work<\/span><\/li>\r\n\t<li><span class=\"tight\">Settling down (33 to 40): Reinvesting in work and family commitments; becoming involved in the community<\/span><\/li>\r\n\t<li><span class=\"tight\">Midlife transition (40-45): Reevaluating previous commitments; making dramatic changes if necessary; giving expression to previously ignored talents or aspirations; feeling more of a sense of urgency about life and its meaning<\/span><\/li>\r\n\t<li><span class=\"tight\">Entering middle adulthood (45-50): Committing to new choices made and placing one\u2019s energies into these commitments<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\nAdulthood, then, is a period of building and rebuilding one\u2019s life.\u00a0Many of the decisions that are made in early adulthood are made before a person has had enough experience to really understand the consequences of such decisions.\u00a0And, perhaps, many of these initial\u00a0decisions are made with one goal in mind-to be seen as an adult.\u00a0As a result, early decisions may be driven more by the expectations of others.\u00a0For example, imagine someone who chose a career path based on other\u2019s advice but now find that the job is not what was expected.\u00a0The age 30 transition may involve recommitting to the same job, not because it\u2019s stimulating, but because it pays well.\u00a0Settling down may involve settling down with a new set of expectations for that job.\u00a0As the adult gains status, he or she may be freer to make more independent choices.\u00a0And sometimes these are very different from those previously made.\u00a0The midlife transition differs from the age 30 transition in that the person is more aware of how much time has gone by and how much time is left.\u00a0This brings a sense of urgency and impatience about making changes.\u00a0The future focus of early adulthood gives way to an emphasis on the present in midlife.\u00a0(We will explore this in our next lesson.)\u00a0Overall, Levinson calls our attention to the dynamic nature of adulthood.\r\n<div class=\"bcc-box bcc-info\">\r\n<h3>Exercise<\/h3>\r\nHow well do you think Levinson\u2019s theory translates culturally?\u00a0Do you think that personal desire and a concern with reconciling dreams with the realities of work and family is equally important in all cultures?\u00a0Do you think these considerations are equally important in all social classes, races and ethnic groups?\u00a0Why or why not? How might this model be modified in today's economy?\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n<h2>Erikson\u2019s Theory<\/h2>\r\n<h3><strong>Intimacy vs. Isolation<\/strong><\/h3>\r\nErikson believed that the main task of early adulthood was to establish intimate relationships.\u00a0Intimate relationships are more difficult if one is still struggling with identity.\u00a0Achieving a sense of identity is a life-long process, but there are periods of identity crisis and stability.\u00a0And having some sense of identify is essential for intimate relationships.\u00a0In early adulthood, intimacy (or emotional or psychological closeness) comes from friendships and mates.\r\n<h3><strong>Friendships as a source of intimacy<\/strong><\/h3>\r\nIn our twenties, intimacy needs may be met in friendships rather than with partners.\u00a0This is especially true in the United States today as many young adults postpone making long-term commitments to partners either in marriage or in cohabitation.\u00a0The kinds of friendships shared by women tend to differ from those shared by men (Tannen, 1990).\u00a0Friendships between men are more likely to involve sharing information, providing solutions, or focusing on activities rather than discussion problems or emotions.\u00a0Men tend to discuss opinions or factual information or spend time together in an activity of mutual interest.\u00a0Friendships between women are more likely to focus on sharing weaknesses, emotions, or problems.\u00a0Women talk about difficulties they are having in other relationships and express their sadness, frustrations, and joys.\u00a0These differences in approaches lead to problems when men and women come together.\u00a0She may want to vent about a problem she is having; he may want to provide a solution and move on to some activity.\u00a0But when he offers a solution, she thinks he does not care!\r\n\r\nFriendships between men and women become more difficult because of the unspoken question about whether the friendships will lead to a romantic involvement.\u00a0It may be acceptable to have opposite-sex friends as an adolescent, but once a person begins dating or marries; such friendships can be considered threatening. Consequently, friendships may diminish once a person has a partner or single friends may be replaced with couple friends.\r\n<h2>Partners as a source of intimacy:\u00a0Dating, Cohabitation, and Mate Selection<\/h2>\r\n<strong>Dating<\/strong>\r\n\r\nIn general, traditional dating among teens and those in their early twenties has been replaced with more varied and flexible ways of getting together.\u00a0The Friday night date with dinner and a movie that may still be enjoyed by those in their 30s gives way to less formal, more spontaneous meetings that may include several couples or a group of friends.\u00a0Two people may get to know each other and go somewhere alone.\u00a0How would you describe a \"typical\" date?\u00a0Who calls?\u00a0Who pays?\u00a0Who decides where to go?\u00a0What is the purpose of the date?\u00a0In general, greater planning is required for people who have additional family and work responsibilities.\u00a0Teens may simply have to negotiate getting out of the house and carving out time to be with friends.\r\n\r\n<strong>Cohabitation or Living Together<\/strong>\r\n\r\nHow prevalent is cohabitation? \u00a0There are over 5 million heterosexual cohabiting couples in the United States and, an additional 594,000 same-sex couples share households (U. S. Census Bureau, 2006).\u00a0In 2000, 9 percent of women and 12 percent of men were in cohabiting relationships (Bumpass in Casper &amp; Bianchi, 2002).\u00a0This number reflects only those couples who were together when census data were collected, however.\u00a0The number of cohabiting couples in the United States today is over 10 times higher than it was in 1960.\r\n\r\nSimilar increases have also occurred in other industrialized countries.\u00a0For example, rates are high in Great Britain, Australia, Sweden, Denmark, and Finland.\u00a0In fact, more children in Sweden are born to cohabiting couples than to married couples.\u00a0The lowest rates of cohabitation are in Ireland, Italy, and Japan (Benokraitis, 2005).\r\n<h3><strong>How long do cohabiting relationships last?<\/strong><\/h3>\r\nCohabitation tends to last longer in European countries than in the United States.\u00a0Half of cohabiting relationships in the U. S. end within a year; only 10 percent last more than 5 years.\u00a0These short-term cohabiting relationships are more characteristics of people in their early 20s.\u00a0Many of these couples eventually marry.\u00a0Those who cohabit more than five years tend to be older and more committed to the relationship.\u00a0Cohabitation may be preferable to marriage for a number of reasons.\u00a0For partners over 65, cohabitation is preferable to marriage for practical reasons.\u00a0For many of them, marriage would result in a loss of Social Security benefits and consequently is not an option.\u00a0Others may believe that their relationship is more satisfying because they are not bound by marriage. Consider this explanation from a 62-year old woman who was previously in a long-term, dissatisfying marriage.\u00a0She and her partner live in New York but spend winters in South Texas at a travel park near the beach.\u00a0\u201cThere are about 20 other couples in this park and we are the only ones who aren\u2019t married.\u00a0They look at us and say, \u2018I wish we were so in love\u2019.\u00a0I don\u2019t want to be like them.\u201d\u00a0(Author\u2019s files.)\u00a0Or another couple who have been happily cohabiting for over 12 years.\u00a0Both had previously been in bad marriages that began as long-term, friendly, and satisfying relationships.\u00a0But after marriage, these relationships became troubled marriages.\u00a0These happily cohabiting partners stated that they believe that there is something about marriage that \"ruins a friendship\".\r\n\r\nThe majority of people who cohabit are between the ages of 25-44.\u00a0Only about 20 percent of those who cohabit are under age 24.\u00a0Cohabitation among younger adults tends to be short-lived.\u00a0Relationships between older adults tend to last longer.\r\n<h3><strong>Why do people cohabit?\u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\r\nPeople cohabit for a variety of reasons. The largest number of couples in the United States engages in\u00a0premarital cohabitation.\u00a0These couples are testing the relationship before deciding to marry.\u00a0About half of these couples eventually get married.\u00a0The second most common type of cohabitation is\u00a0dating cohabitation.\u00a0These partnerships are entered into for fun or convenience and involve less commitment\u00a0than premarital cohabitation.\u00a0About half of these partners break up and about one-third eventually marry.\u00a0Trial marriage\u00a0is a type of cohabitation in which partners are trying to see what it might be like to be married.\u00a0They are not testing the other person as a potential mate, necessarily; rather, they are trying to find out how being married might feel and what kinds of adjustments they might have to make.\u00a0Over half of these couples split up.\u00a0In the\u00a0substitute marriage, partners are committed to one another and are not necessarily seeking marriage.\u00a0Forty percent of these couples continue to cohabit after 5 to 7 years (Bianchi &amp; Casper, 2000).\u00a0Certainly, there are other reasons people cohabit.\u00a0Some cohabit out of a feeling of insecurity or to gain freedom from someone else (Ridley, C. Peterman, D. &amp; Avery, A., 1978).\u00a0And many cohabit because they cannot legally marry.\r\n<h3><strong>Same-Sex Couples<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Same-sex_marriage\"><img class=\"aligncenter wp-image-871 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com\/courses-images-archive-read-only\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1496\/2016\/03\/16145959\/Screen-Shot-2016-03-16-at-10.58.43-AM.png\" alt=\"Map of where same-sex marriage is legalized. Countries include Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Iceland, Norway, Portugal, Sweden, South Africa, Spain, Canada, the Netherlands, and others. \" width=\"680\" height=\"658\" \/><\/a>Same sex marriage is legal in 21 countries, including the United States.\u00a0Many other countries either recognize same-sex couples for the purpose of immigration, grant rights for domestic partnerships, or grant common law marriage status to same-sex couples.\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_646\" align=\"alignright\" width=\"300\"]<img class=\"wp-image-646 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com\/courses-images-archive-read-only\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1496\/2014\/09\/28024308\/gay-marriage-300x225.jpeg\" alt=\"Image of two men after their marriage, holding hands.\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/> Photo Courtesy Salvor Gissurardottir[\/caption]\r\n\r\nSame sex couples struggle with concerns such as the division of household tasks, finances, sex, and friendships as do heterosexual couples.\u00a0One difference between same sex and heterosexual couples, however, is that same sex couples have to live with the added stress that comes from social disapproval and discrimination.\u00a0And continued contact with an ex-partner may be more likely among homosexuals and bisexuals because of closeness of the circle of friends and acquaintances.\r\n<h2>Mate-Selection<\/h2>\r\nContemporary young adults in the United States are waiting longer than before to marry.\u00a0The median age of first marriage is 25 for women and 27 for men.\u00a0This reflects a dramatic increase in age of first marriage for women, but the age for men is similar to that found in the late 1800s.\u00a0Marriage is being postponed for college and starting a family often takes place after a woman has completed her education and begun a career.\u00a0However, the majority of women will eventually marry (Bianchi &amp; Casper, 2000).\r\n\r\n<strong>Social exchange theory<\/strong>\u00a0suggests that people try to maximize rewards and minimize costs in social relationships.\u00a0Each person entering the marriage market comes equipped with assets and liabilities or a certain amount of social currency with which to attract a prospective mate.\u00a0For men, assets might include earning potential and status while for women, assets might include physical attractiveness and youth.\r\n<h3><strong>A fair exchange<\/strong><\/h3>\r\nCustomers in the market do not look for a 'good deal', however.\u00a0Rather, most look for a relationship that is mutually beneficial or equitable.\u00a0One of the reasons for this is because most a relationship in which one partner has far more assets than the other will result if power disparities and a difference in the level of commitment from each partner.\u00a0According to Waller's\u00a0principle of least interest, the partner who has the most to lose without the relationship (or is the most dependent on the relationship) will have the least amount of power and is in danger of being exploited.\u00a0A greater balance of power, then, may add stability to the relationship.\r\n\r\nHomogamy and the filter theory of mate selection:\u00a0Societies specify through both formal and informal rules who is an appropriate mate.\u00a0Consequently, mate selection is not completely left to the individual.\u00a0Rules of\u00a0endogamy\u00a0indicate within which groups we should marry.\u00a0For example, many cultures specify that people marry within their own race, social class, age group, or religion.\u00a0These rules encourage\u00a0homogamy\u00a0or marriage between people who share social characteristics.\u00a0The majority of marriages in the U. S. are homogamous with respect to race, social class, age and to a lesser extent, religion.\u00a0Rules\u00a0of\u00a0exogamy\u00a0specify the groups into which one is prohibited from marrying.\u00a0For example, in most of the United States, people are not allowed to marry someone of the same sex.\r\n\r\nAccording to the\u00a0filter theory of mate selection\u00a0(Kerckhoff &amp; Davis, 1962),\u00a0the pool of eligible partners becomes narrower as it passes through filters used to eliminate members of the pool.\u00a0One such filter is\u00a0propinquity\u00a0or geographic proximity.\u00a0Mate selection in the United States typically involves meeting eligible partners face to face.\u00a0Those with whom one does not come into contact are simply not contenders.\u00a0Race and ethnicity is another filter used to eliminate partners.\u00a0Although interracial dating has increased in recent years and interracial marriage rates are higher than before, interracial marriage still represents only 5.4 percent of all marriages in the United States.\u00a0Physical appearance is another feature considered when selecting a mate.\u00a0Age, social class, and religion are also criteria used to narrow the field of eligibles.\u00a0Thus, the field of eligibles becomes significantly smaller before those things we are most conscious of such as preferences, values, goals, and interests, are even considered.\r\n<h3><strong>Online Relationships<\/strong><\/h3>\r\nWhat impact does the internet have on the pool of eligibles?\u00a0There are hundreds of websites designed to help people meet.\u00a0Some of these are geared toward helping people find suitable marriage partners and others focus on less committed involvements.\u00a0Websites focus on specific populations-big beautiful women, Christian motorcyclists, parents without partners, and people over 50, etc.\u00a0Theoretically, the pool of eligibles is much larger as a result.\u00a0However, many who visit sites are not interested in marriage; many are already married.\u00a0And so if a person is looking for a partner online, the pool must be filtered again to eliminate those who are not seeking long-term relationships.\u00a0While this is true in the traditional marriage market as well, knowing a person's intentions and determining the sincerity of their responses becomes problematic online.\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"\" align=\"aligncenter\" width=\"200\"]<img src=\"https:\/\/s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com\/courses-images-archive-read-only\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1496\/2014\/09\/28024308\/online-relationship-200x300.jpeg\" alt=\"smiling headshot of a man with dark features and glasses, wearing a suit and tie.\" width=\"200\" height=\"300\" \/> Photo Courtesy Vikram Kharvi[\/caption]\r\n\r\nThis young man offers his picture and a description of his professional status and stability. While he's looking for employment, his ad might also help him find an eligible partner online.\r\n\r\nOnline communication differs from face-to-face interaction in a number of ways.\u00a0In face-to-face meetings, people have many cues upon which to base their first impressions.\u00a0A person\u2019s looks, voice, mannerisms, dress, scent, and surroundings all provide information in face-to-face meetings.\u00a0But in computer- mediated meetings, written messages are the only cues provided.\u00a0Fantasy is used to conjure up images of voice, physical appearance, mannerisms, and so forth.\u00a0The anonymity of online involvement makes it easier to become intimate without fear of interdependence.\u00a0It is easier to tell one\u2019s secrets because there is little fear of loss. One can find a virtual partner who is warm, accepting, and undemanding (Gwinnell, 1998).\u00a0And exchanges can be focused more on emotional attraction than physical appearance.\r\n\r\nWhen online, people tend to disclose more intimate details about themselves more quickly.\u00a0A shy person can open up without worrying about whether or not the partner is frowning or looking away.\u00a0And someone who has been abused may feel safer in virtual relationships. None of the worries of home or work get in the way of the exchange.\u00a0The partner can be given one's undivided attention, unlike trying to have a conversation on the phone with a houseful of others or at work between duties.\u00a0Online exchanges take the place of the corner caf\u00e9 as a place to relax, have fun, and be you (Brooks, 1997).\u00a0However, breaking up or disappearing is also easier.\u00a0A person can simply not respond, or block e-mail.\r\n\r\nBut what happens if the partners meet face to face?\u00a0People often complain that pictures they have been provided of the partner are misleading.\u00a0And once couples begin to think more seriously about the relationship, the reality of family situations, work demands, goals, timing, values, and money all add new dimensions to the mix. Next we will\u00a0turn our attention to theories of love.","rendered":"<h3><strong>Gaining Adult Status<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Many of the developmental tasks of early adulthood involve becoming part of the adult world and gaining independence.\u00a0Young adults sometimes complain that they are not treated with respect-especially if they are put in positions of authority over older workers.\u00a0Consequently, young adults may emphasize their age to gain credibility from those who are even slightly younger.\u00a0\u201cYou\u2019re only 23?\u00a0I\u2019m 27!\u201d a young adult might exclaim.\u00a0(Note:\u00a0This kind of statement is much less likely to come from someone in their 40s!).<\/p>\n<p>The focus of early adulthood is often on the future.\u00a0Many aspects of life are on hold while people go to school, go to work, and prepare for a brighter future.\u00a0There may be a belief that the hurried life now lived will improve \u2018as soon as I finish school\u2019 or \u2018as soon as I\u00a0get promoted\u2019 or \u2018as soon as the children get a little older.\u2019\u00a0As a result, time may seem to pass rather quickly.\u00a0The day consists of meeting many demands that these tasks bring.\u00a0The incentive for working so hard is that it will all result in better future.<\/p>\n<h2>Levinson\u2019s Theory<\/h2>\n<p>In 1978, Daniel Levinson published a book entitled\u00a0<em>The Seasons of a Man\u2019s Life<\/em> in which he presented a theory of development in adulthood.\u00a0Levinson\u2019s work was based on in-depth interviews with 40 men between the ages of 35-45.\u00a0He later conducted interviews with women as well (1996).\u00a0According to Levinson, these adults have an image of the future that motivates them.\u00a0This image is called \u201cthe dream\u201d and for the men interviewed, it was a dream of how their career paths would progress and where they would be at midlife.\u00a0Women held a \u201csplit dream\u201d; an image of the future in both work and family life and a concern with the timing and coordination of the two.\u00a0Dreams are very motivating.\u00a0Dreams of a home bring excitement to couples as they look, save, and fantasize about how life will be.\u00a0Dreams of careers motivate students to continue in school as they fantasize about how much their hard work will pay off.\u00a0Dreams of playgrounds on a summer day inspire would be parents. \u00a0A dream is perfect and retains that perfection as long as it remains in the future.\u00a0But as the realization of it moves closer, it may or may not measure up to its image.\u00a0If it does, all is well.\u00a0But if it does not, the image must be replaced or modified.\u00a0And so, in adulthood, plans are made, efforts follow, and plans are reevaluated.\u00a0This creating and recreating characterizes Levinson\u2019s theory.<\/p>\n<p>Levinson\u2019s stages are presented below (Levinson, 1978).\u00a0He suggests that period of transition last about 5 years and periods of \u201csettling down\u201d last about 7 years.\u00a0The ages presented below are based on life in the middle class about 30 years ago.\u00a0Think about how these ages and transitions might be different today.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span class=\"tight\">Early adult transition (17-22): Leaving home, leaving family; making first choices about career and education<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span class=\"tight\">Entering the adult world (22-28): Committing to an occupation, defining goals, finding intimate relationships<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span class=\"tight\">Age 30 transition (28-33): Reevaluating those choices and perhaps making modifications or changing one\u2019s attitude toward love and work<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span class=\"tight\">Settling down (33 to 40): Reinvesting in work and family commitments; becoming involved in the community<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span class=\"tight\">Midlife transition (40-45): Reevaluating previous commitments; making dramatic changes if necessary; giving expression to previously ignored talents or aspirations; feeling more of a sense of urgency about life and its meaning<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span class=\"tight\">Entering middle adulthood (45-50): Committing to new choices made and placing one\u2019s energies into these commitments<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Adulthood, then, is a period of building and rebuilding one\u2019s life.\u00a0Many of the decisions that are made in early adulthood are made before a person has had enough experience to really understand the consequences of such decisions.\u00a0And, perhaps, many of these initial\u00a0decisions are made with one goal in mind-to be seen as an adult.\u00a0As a result, early decisions may be driven more by the expectations of others.\u00a0For example, imagine someone who chose a career path based on other\u2019s advice but now find that the job is not what was expected.\u00a0The age 30 transition may involve recommitting to the same job, not because it\u2019s stimulating, but because it pays well.\u00a0Settling down may involve settling down with a new set of expectations for that job.\u00a0As the adult gains status, he or she may be freer to make more independent choices.\u00a0And sometimes these are very different from those previously made.\u00a0The midlife transition differs from the age 30 transition in that the person is more aware of how much time has gone by and how much time is left.\u00a0This brings a sense of urgency and impatience about making changes.\u00a0The future focus of early adulthood gives way to an emphasis on the present in midlife.\u00a0(We will explore this in our next lesson.)\u00a0Overall, Levinson calls our attention to the dynamic nature of adulthood.<\/p>\n<div class=\"bcc-box bcc-info\">\n<h3>Exercise<\/h3>\n<p>How well do you think Levinson\u2019s theory translates culturally?\u00a0Do you think that personal desire and a concern with reconciling dreams with the realities of work and family is equally important in all cultures?\u00a0Do you think these considerations are equally important in all social classes, races and ethnic groups?\u00a0Why or why not? How might this model be modified in today&#8217;s economy?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<h2>Erikson\u2019s Theory<\/h2>\n<h3><strong>Intimacy vs. Isolation<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Erikson believed that the main task of early adulthood was to establish intimate relationships.\u00a0Intimate relationships are more difficult if one is still struggling with identity.\u00a0Achieving a sense of identity is a life-long process, but there are periods of identity crisis and stability.\u00a0And having some sense of identify is essential for intimate relationships.\u00a0In early adulthood, intimacy (or emotional or psychological closeness) comes from friendships and mates.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Friendships as a source of intimacy<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>In our twenties, intimacy needs may be met in friendships rather than with partners.\u00a0This is especially true in the United States today as many young adults postpone making long-term commitments to partners either in marriage or in cohabitation.\u00a0The kinds of friendships shared by women tend to differ from those shared by men (Tannen, 1990).\u00a0Friendships between men are more likely to involve sharing information, providing solutions, or focusing on activities rather than discussion problems or emotions.\u00a0Men tend to discuss opinions or factual information or spend time together in an activity of mutual interest.\u00a0Friendships between women are more likely to focus on sharing weaknesses, emotions, or problems.\u00a0Women talk about difficulties they are having in other relationships and express their sadness, frustrations, and joys.\u00a0These differences in approaches lead to problems when men and women come together.\u00a0She may want to vent about a problem she is having; he may want to provide a solution and move on to some activity.\u00a0But when he offers a solution, she thinks he does not care!<\/p>\n<p>Friendships between men and women become more difficult because of the unspoken question about whether the friendships will lead to a romantic involvement.\u00a0It may be acceptable to have opposite-sex friends as an adolescent, but once a person begins dating or marries; such friendships can be considered threatening. Consequently, friendships may diminish once a person has a partner or single friends may be replaced with couple friends.<\/p>\n<h2>Partners as a source of intimacy:\u00a0Dating, Cohabitation, and Mate Selection<\/h2>\n<p><strong>Dating<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In general, traditional dating among teens and those in their early twenties has been replaced with more varied and flexible ways of getting together.\u00a0The Friday night date with dinner and a movie that may still be enjoyed by those in their 30s gives way to less formal, more spontaneous meetings that may include several couples or a group of friends.\u00a0Two people may get to know each other and go somewhere alone.\u00a0How would you describe a &#8220;typical&#8221; date?\u00a0Who calls?\u00a0Who pays?\u00a0Who decides where to go?\u00a0What is the purpose of the date?\u00a0In general, greater planning is required for people who have additional family and work responsibilities.\u00a0Teens may simply have to negotiate getting out of the house and carving out time to be with friends.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Cohabitation or Living Together<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>How prevalent is cohabitation? \u00a0There are over 5 million heterosexual cohabiting couples in the United States and, an additional 594,000 same-sex couples share households (U. S. Census Bureau, 2006).\u00a0In 2000, 9 percent of women and 12 percent of men were in cohabiting relationships (Bumpass in Casper &amp; Bianchi, 2002).\u00a0This number reflects only those couples who were together when census data were collected, however.\u00a0The number of cohabiting couples in the United States today is over 10 times higher than it was in 1960.<\/p>\n<p>Similar increases have also occurred in other industrialized countries.\u00a0For example, rates are high in Great Britain, Australia, Sweden, Denmark, and Finland.\u00a0In fact, more children in Sweden are born to cohabiting couples than to married couples.\u00a0The lowest rates of cohabitation are in Ireland, Italy, and Japan (Benokraitis, 2005).<\/p>\n<h3><strong>How long do cohabiting relationships last?<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Cohabitation tends to last longer in European countries than in the United States.\u00a0Half of cohabiting relationships in the U. S. end within a year; only 10 percent last more than 5 years.\u00a0These short-term cohabiting relationships are more characteristics of people in their early 20s.\u00a0Many of these couples eventually marry.\u00a0Those who cohabit more than five years tend to be older and more committed to the relationship.\u00a0Cohabitation may be preferable to marriage for a number of reasons.\u00a0For partners over 65, cohabitation is preferable to marriage for practical reasons.\u00a0For many of them, marriage would result in a loss of Social Security benefits and consequently is not an option.\u00a0Others may believe that their relationship is more satisfying because they are not bound by marriage. Consider this explanation from a 62-year old woman who was previously in a long-term, dissatisfying marriage.\u00a0She and her partner live in New York but spend winters in South Texas at a travel park near the beach.\u00a0\u201cThere are about 20 other couples in this park and we are the only ones who aren\u2019t married.\u00a0They look at us and say, \u2018I wish we were so in love\u2019.\u00a0I don\u2019t want to be like them.\u201d\u00a0(Author\u2019s files.)\u00a0Or another couple who have been happily cohabiting for over 12 years.\u00a0Both had previously been in bad marriages that began as long-term, friendly, and satisfying relationships.\u00a0But after marriage, these relationships became troubled marriages.\u00a0These happily cohabiting partners stated that they believe that there is something about marriage that &#8220;ruins a friendship&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>The majority of people who cohabit are between the ages of 25-44.\u00a0Only about 20 percent of those who cohabit are under age 24.\u00a0Cohabitation among younger adults tends to be short-lived.\u00a0Relationships between older adults tend to last longer.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Why do people cohabit?\u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>People cohabit for a variety of reasons. The largest number of couples in the United States engages in\u00a0premarital cohabitation.\u00a0These couples are testing the relationship before deciding to marry.\u00a0About half of these couples eventually get married.\u00a0The second most common type of cohabitation is\u00a0dating cohabitation.\u00a0These partnerships are entered into for fun or convenience and involve less commitment\u00a0than premarital cohabitation.\u00a0About half of these partners break up and about one-third eventually marry.\u00a0Trial marriage\u00a0is a type of cohabitation in which partners are trying to see what it might be like to be married.\u00a0They are not testing the other person as a potential mate, necessarily; rather, they are trying to find out how being married might feel and what kinds of adjustments they might have to make.\u00a0Over half of these couples split up.\u00a0In the\u00a0substitute marriage, partners are committed to one another and are not necessarily seeking marriage.\u00a0Forty percent of these couples continue to cohabit after 5 to 7 years (Bianchi &amp; Casper, 2000).\u00a0Certainly, there are other reasons people cohabit.\u00a0Some cohabit out of a feeling of insecurity or to gain freedom from someone else (Ridley, C. Peterman, D. &amp; Avery, A., 1978).\u00a0And many cohabit because they cannot legally marry.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Same-Sex Couples<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Same-sex_marriage\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-871 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com\/courses-images-archive-read-only\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1496\/2016\/03\/16145959\/Screen-Shot-2016-03-16-at-10.58.43-AM.png\" alt=\"Map of where same-sex marriage is legalized. Countries include Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Iceland, Norway, Portugal, Sweden, South Africa, Spain, Canada, the Netherlands, and others.\" width=\"680\" height=\"658\" \/><\/a>Same sex marriage is legal in 21 countries, including the United States.\u00a0Many other countries either recognize same-sex couples for the purpose of immigration, grant rights for domestic partnerships, or grant common law marriage status to same-sex couples.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_646\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-646\" class=\"wp-image-646 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com\/courses-images-archive-read-only\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1496\/2014\/09\/28024308\/gay-marriage-300x225.jpeg\" alt=\"Image of two men after their marriage, holding hands.\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/><\/p>\n<p id=\"caption-attachment-646\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo Courtesy Salvor Gissurardottir<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Same sex couples struggle with concerns such as the division of household tasks, finances, sex, and friendships as do heterosexual couples.\u00a0One difference between same sex and heterosexual couples, however, is that same sex couples have to live with the added stress that comes from social disapproval and discrimination.\u00a0And continued contact with an ex-partner may be more likely among homosexuals and bisexuals because of closeness of the circle of friends and acquaintances.<\/p>\n<h2>Mate-Selection<\/h2>\n<p>Contemporary young adults in the United States are waiting longer than before to marry.\u00a0The median age of first marriage is 25 for women and 27 for men.\u00a0This reflects a dramatic increase in age of first marriage for women, but the age for men is similar to that found in the late 1800s.\u00a0Marriage is being postponed for college and starting a family often takes place after a woman has completed her education and begun a career.\u00a0However, the majority of women will eventually marry (Bianchi &amp; Casper, 2000).<\/p>\n<p><strong>Social exchange theory<\/strong>\u00a0suggests that people try to maximize rewards and minimize costs in social relationships.\u00a0Each person entering the marriage market comes equipped with assets and liabilities or a certain amount of social currency with which to attract a prospective mate.\u00a0For men, assets might include earning potential and status while for women, assets might include physical attractiveness and youth.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>A fair exchange<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Customers in the market do not look for a &#8216;good deal&#8217;, however.\u00a0Rather, most look for a relationship that is mutually beneficial or equitable.\u00a0One of the reasons for this is because most a relationship in which one partner has far more assets than the other will result if power disparities and a difference in the level of commitment from each partner.\u00a0According to Waller&#8217;s\u00a0principle of least interest, the partner who has the most to lose without the relationship (or is the most dependent on the relationship) will have the least amount of power and is in danger of being exploited.\u00a0A greater balance of power, then, may add stability to the relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Homogamy and the filter theory of mate selection:\u00a0Societies specify through both formal and informal rules who is an appropriate mate.\u00a0Consequently, mate selection is not completely left to the individual.\u00a0Rules of\u00a0endogamy\u00a0indicate within which groups we should marry.\u00a0For example, many cultures specify that people marry within their own race, social class, age group, or religion.\u00a0These rules encourage\u00a0homogamy\u00a0or marriage between people who share social characteristics.\u00a0The majority of marriages in the U. S. are homogamous with respect to race, social class, age and to a lesser extent, religion.\u00a0Rules\u00a0of\u00a0exogamy\u00a0specify the groups into which one is prohibited from marrying.\u00a0For example, in most of the United States, people are not allowed to marry someone of the same sex.<\/p>\n<p>According to the\u00a0filter theory of mate selection\u00a0(Kerckhoff &amp; Davis, 1962),\u00a0the pool of eligible partners becomes narrower as it passes through filters used to eliminate members of the pool.\u00a0One such filter is\u00a0propinquity\u00a0or geographic proximity.\u00a0Mate selection in the United States typically involves meeting eligible partners face to face.\u00a0Those with whom one does not come into contact are simply not contenders.\u00a0Race and ethnicity is another filter used to eliminate partners.\u00a0Although interracial dating has increased in recent years and interracial marriage rates are higher than before, interracial marriage still represents only 5.4 percent of all marriages in the United States.\u00a0Physical appearance is another feature considered when selecting a mate.\u00a0Age, social class, and religion are also criteria used to narrow the field of eligibles.\u00a0Thus, the field of eligibles becomes significantly smaller before those things we are most conscious of such as preferences, values, goals, and interests, are even considered.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Online Relationships<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>What impact does the internet have on the pool of eligibles?\u00a0There are hundreds of websites designed to help people meet.\u00a0Some of these are geared toward helping people find suitable marriage partners and others focus on less committed involvements.\u00a0Websites focus on specific populations-big beautiful women, Christian motorcyclists, parents without partners, and people over 50, etc.\u00a0Theoretically, the pool of eligibles is much larger as a result.\u00a0However, many who visit sites are not interested in marriage; many are already married.\u00a0And so if a person is looking for a partner online, the pool must be filtered again to eliminate those who are not seeking long-term relationships.\u00a0While this is true in the traditional marriage market as well, knowing a person&#8217;s intentions and determining the sincerity of their responses becomes problematic online.<\/p>\n<div style=\"width: 210px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com\/courses-images-archive-read-only\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1496\/2014\/09\/28024308\/online-relationship-200x300.jpeg\" alt=\"smiling headshot of a man with dark features and glasses, wearing a suit and tie.\" width=\"200\" height=\"300\" \/><\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo Courtesy Vikram Kharvi<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>This young man offers his picture and a description of his professional status and stability. While he&#8217;s looking for employment, his ad might also help him find an eligible partner online.<\/p>\n<p>Online communication differs from face-to-face interaction in a number of ways.\u00a0In face-to-face meetings, people have many cues upon which to base their first impressions.\u00a0A person\u2019s looks, voice, mannerisms, dress, scent, and surroundings all provide information in face-to-face meetings.\u00a0But in computer- mediated meetings, written messages are the only cues provided.\u00a0Fantasy is used to conjure up images of voice, physical appearance, mannerisms, and so forth.\u00a0The anonymity of online involvement makes it easier to become intimate without fear of interdependence.\u00a0It is easier to tell one\u2019s secrets because there is little fear of loss. One can find a virtual partner who is warm, accepting, and undemanding (Gwinnell, 1998).\u00a0And exchanges can be focused more on emotional attraction than physical appearance.<\/p>\n<p>When online, people tend to disclose more intimate details about themselves more quickly.\u00a0A shy person can open up without worrying about whether or not the partner is frowning or looking away.\u00a0And someone who has been abused may feel safer in virtual relationships. None of the worries of home or work get in the way of the exchange.\u00a0The partner can be given one&#8217;s undivided attention, unlike trying to have a conversation on the phone with a houseful of others or at work between duties.\u00a0Online exchanges take the place of the corner caf\u00e9 as a place to relax, have fun, and be you (Brooks, 1997).\u00a0However, breaking up or disappearing is also easier.\u00a0A person can simply not respond, or block e-mail.<\/p>\n<p>But what happens if the partners meet face to face?\u00a0People often complain that pictures they have been provided of the partner are misleading.\u00a0And once couples begin to think more seriously about the relationship, the reality of family situations, work demands, goals, timing, values, and money all add new dimensions to the mix. Next we will\u00a0turn our attention to theories of love.<\/p>\n\n\t\t\t <section class=\"citations-section\" role=\"contentinfo\">\n\t\t\t <h3>Candela Citations<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\t <div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t <div id=\"citation-list-336\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t <div class=\"licensing\"><div class=\"license-attribution-dropdown-subheading\">CC licensed content, Shared previously<\/div><ul class=\"citation-list\"><li>Psyc 200 Lifespan Psychology. <strong>Authored by<\/strong>: Laura Overstreet. <strong>Located at<\/strong>: <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/opencourselibrary.org\/econ-201\/\">http:\/\/opencourselibrary.org\/econ-201\/<\/a>. <strong>License<\/strong>: <em><a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"license\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by\/4.0\/\">CC BY: Attribution<\/a><\/em><\/li><li>Map of where same-sex marriage is legal. <strong>Provided by<\/strong>: Wikipedia. <strong>Located at<\/strong>: <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Same-sex_marriage#\/media\/File:World_marriage-equality_laws.svg\">https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Same-sex_marriage#\/media\/File:World_marriage-equality_laws.svg<\/a>. <strong>License<\/strong>: <em><a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"license\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-sa\/4.0\/\">CC BY-SA: Attribution-ShareAlike<\/a><\/em><\/li><\/ul><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t <\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t <\/div>\n\t\t\t <\/section>","protected":false},"author":74,"menu_order":4,"template":"","meta":{"_candela_citation":"[{\"type\":\"cc\",\"description\":\"Psyc 200 Lifespan Psychology\",\"author\":\"Laura Overstreet\",\"organization\":\"\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/opencourselibrary.org\/econ-201\/\",\"project\":\"\",\"license\":\"cc-by\",\"license_terms\":\"\"},{\"type\":\"cc\",\"description\":\"Map of where same-sex marriage is legal\",\"author\":\"\",\"organization\":\"Wikipedia\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Same-sex_marriage#\/media\/File:World_marriage-equality_laws.svg\",\"project\":\"\",\"license\":\"cc-by-sa\",\"license_terms\":\"\"}]","CANDELA_OUTCOMES_GUID":"","pb_show_title":"on","pb_short_title":"","pb_subtitle":"","pb_authors":[],"pb_section_license":""},"chapter-type":[],"contributor":[],"license":[],"class_list":["post-336","chapter","type-chapter","status-publish","hentry"],"part":309,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-lifespandevelopment2\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/336","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-lifespandevelopment2\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-lifespandevelopment2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/chapter"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-lifespandevelopment2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/74"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-lifespandevelopment2\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/336\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":872,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-lifespandevelopment2\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/336\/revisions\/872"}],"part":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-lifespandevelopment2\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/parts\/309"}],"metadata":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-lifespandevelopment2\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/336\/metadata\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-lifespandevelopment2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=336"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"chapter-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-lifespandevelopment2\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapter-type?post=336"},{"taxonomy":"contributor","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-lifespandevelopment2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/contributor?post=336"},{"taxonomy":"license","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/suny-lifespandevelopment2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/license?post=336"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}