What is Emotional Health?    

Mental Vs. Emotional Health – Many people think that mental and emotional health are the same.  They are very closely related, but they are not the same.  In basic terms, our mental health has to do with our reasoning and our emotional health reflects our response to that reasoning.  So, for example, if you see a snake you might mentally “reason” that you dislike snakes and emotionally respond by shouting out in fear. The next person might mentally reason that the snake is cute and they want to pick it up, so their emotional response is very different.  They may smile and proceed to pick up the snake, while you are heading for the hills.

Emotional Wellness involves the ability to identify, understand and manage our emotions.  Our emotions are a direct result of our mental reasoning or perceptions.  If we reason or perceive that a situation is negative, we will demonstrate emotions that reflect our perception.  Some individuals perceive “the end of the world” and may have a significant emotional reaction.  Others may be in the habit of working with their thoughts and perceptions, thus managing their emotions differently.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ or EI) is a concept created by two researchers, Salavoy and Mayer. EQ became popular with the publication of Dan Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence book in 1996. Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand and manage our emotions, as well as the emotions of others. We need to be aware that emotions can drive our behavior and impact people, both positively and negatively. Learning how to manage emotions, of both ourselves and others is very important, particularly when we are under pressure.

Categories of Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

1. Self-awareness. The ability to recognize an emotion as it occurs.
2. Self-management/regulation. Using self-control to manage emotions utilizing various healthy strategies.
3. Awareness of Others/Empathy. Awareness of how other people feel is important to success in life. The better you are at this, the more effective you will be with interactions.
4. Relationship Management/Social skills. Good interpersonal skills are critical to success in life. With today’s technology-focused society, people skills are increasingly important as one needs a high EQ to understand, empathize and negotiate with others.
5. Motivation. Motivation requires clear goals and a positive attitude. Although you may have a predisposition to either a positive or a negative attitude, you can learn to think more positively. If you catch negative thoughts as they occur, you can reframe them in more positive terms, which will help you achieve your goals.

A number of school districts are moving toward the incorporation of a socio-emotional approach. Social and emotional learning (SEL) is the process through which children and adults understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions.  This approach combines emotional intelligence with social skills.  The approach is very beneficial, as it is proactive instead of reactive. A number of school districts are also moving toward restorative vs punitive practices.

“Restorative practices are processes that proactively build healthy relationships and a sense of community to prevent and address conflict and wrongdoing.3 Restorative practices are increasingly being applied in individual schools and school districts to address youth behavior, rule violations, and to improve school climate and culture.4 Restorative practices can improve relationships between students, between students and educators, and even between educators, whose behavior often serves as a role model for students. Restorative practices allow individuals who may have committed harm to take full responsibility for their behavior by addressing the individual(s) affected by the behavior. Taking responsibility requires understanding how the behavior affected others, acknowledging that the behavior was harmful to others, taking action to repair the harm, and making changes necessary to avoid such behavior in the future.”

Spiritual Health            

Spiritual Health is another dimension of health.  It is an important topic, however this domain of health is often overlooked. Spiritual health is often viewed as a separate entity, however, spiritual health can be integrated into various aspects of life and has an influence on other dimensions of health.

Children and Spiritual Health

Spiritual health and spiritual practices of parents and caregivers are most influential on children.  Since spiritual and religious beliefs vary by family, approaching this topic with children who are not yours requires some consideration.  We need to be sure we are addressing the overarching aspects of spirituality and not particular religious beliefs. Children can then choose to integrate these concepts and utilize them in conjunction with any religious beliefs that exist within the family.

Historically, the study of spirituality and medicine has been largely avoided, but research has shown positive health outcomes related to supports, coping skills and belief in purpose.  A link between religiosity or spirituality and health has been recognized for decades, if not centuries.10

Do individuals have to be religious in order to be spiritually healthy?  Religious and spiritual practices can be an important part of many people’s lives. Positive religious coping methods include feelings of support from God or a higher power, forgiveness, support from a religious group or clergy and viewing a stressful situation as part of a larger purpose. Being religious can be part of one’s spirituality, but it doesn’t have to be. It has been stated that a difference between religion and spirituality is that religions tend to be exclusive and spirituality is inclusive.  Therefore, a person can have spiritual health with or without the inclusion of religion.

Spirituality is like an umbrella that is inclusive of all, including various religions. In comparison with religion, spirituality is measured in more experiential terms, such as the search for meaning, peace and personal fulfillment, contemplation about meaning of life, and the feeling of a relationship to a higher power (whether it be a god or the universe).10

Aspects of spiritual health could be defined as our: 

1) Relationships (internal and external),

2) Values (beliefs/priorities), and

3) Feeling of Meaning or Purpose in Life. 

The Relationships aspect involves both internal and external relationships. What is our relationship with our self? Do we feel connected?  Do we feel connection with others? Do we feel connected with nature, the Earth?

Acting in alignment with our values is also part of our spiritual health. Some may feel that there is pressure to have a purpose in life, however, if we step back and realize that our meaning or purpose does not have to involve something seeming unattainable, it can take the pressure off.  Treating others how you would want to be treated is one simple way to utilize our spiritual health.  Something as simple as being a decent human being as we move through life could qualify as our meaning or purpose.

Practicing Spiritual Health – To nurture your spiritual health:

• Be aware of and participate in more things that make you feel connected.
• Be aware of and participate in things that are in alignment with your values.
• Be aware of and have gratitude for your inner strengths.

People can feel spiritual in a number of different ways.  Some examples of how people have described feelings of spirituality are:

• Walking in the grass with barefeet
• Listening to the waves of the ocean
• Singing in a choir or playing in a band
• Being part of a team
• Attending a religious service
• Chanting – repeat words and/or lyrics
• Connecting – spend time with people who share a positive outlook
• Visualization – create an image in mind or with art supplies
• Journaling
• Creativity – write, play, dance, draw, paint, sing
• Positive Self-Talk – supportive kind thoughts
• Affirmations – read or write affirmative statements
• Contemplation – be quiet, be still, listen
• Prayer – addressing a Higher Power
• Detachment – surrender to what is for now
• Music – listening or playing
• Mindfulness – keeping one’s consciousness in the present
• Meditation – a practice of quieting the mind
• Order – maintaining organized environments

Contributors and Advocates

Guiding children to be advocates and contributors in our society can be part of spiritual health as well.  Individuals can feel great meaning from participation in activities that move society in a forward direction.

Social Health                

From the time a child is born, the individuals and relationships surrounding that child help them learn to navigate the world. Social health and wellness involves our ability to interact in the world around us. We learn how to communicate effectively with others, express ourselves, conduct everyday health habits, and be a part of different communities. Positive social habits can help individuals build support systems and stay healthier mentally and physically.  Much of our social health is a result of learned behavior and how we were socialized.  The good news is that if we aren’t happy with our social health, we can certainly make changes to improve it.

True or False?

___My level of social health is correlated with the number of friends or contacts I have on social media.

___The more texts and other messages I receive, the better my social health is.

Of course, the answers to the above questions should be false, but many people obtain a sense of excitement or reward when they are connected to more people and more people acknowledge their posts.  In actuality, the quality of connections is vastly more important than the quantity.  Having a large number of connections on social media is not necessarily better than having a few good quality connections.

We need to be aware of the impact that technology has had on social health. There are pros and cons to technological advances, of course.  For some, it has broadened the scope of networking and relationships.  For some, it has hindered the ability to interact “in person” and be successful with relationships and social health in that respect.  It used to be that we would learn how to be social by being around other people.  Now, in many cases, electronic communication has replaced face-to-face dialogue.  We get less practice with live social interactions as a result of increased technology.  This can result in challenges for communication within relationships at home and at work.  Some individuals develop a preoccupation with technological devices, which further displaces them from practicing social interactions.

Are you comfortable interacting with individuals in person, or do you “hide in your phone”?  There are many advantages to all of the technology that we enjoy, however, we need to exercise balance and learn to interact within social situations in order to have healthy relationships and successful careers.

Technology/Social Media Addiction

Psychologists, Mark Griffiths and Daria Kuss specialize in studying the impact of technology and social media on cognitive and social behavior.  They recommend that we ask the following six questions to assess whether or not we are addicted to social media.

1. Do you spend a lot of time, when you’re not online, thinking about social media or planning to use social media?
2. Do you feel urges to use social media more and more over time?
3. Do you use social media to forget about personal problems?
4. Do you often try to reduce your use of social media, without success?
5. Do you become restless or troubled if you are unable to use social media?
6. Do you use social media so much that it has had a negative impact on your job, relationship or studies?

If you answered “yes” to a few of these questions, it’s likely that you are a habitual social media user and would probably benefit from reducing the amount of time spent on social media. You can do this by setting specific times to check your phone, and/or turning off notifications or ringers.  However, if you answered “yes” to most or all of these questions, then it is possible that you may be developing or have a social media addiction.  Upon review of the scientific literature, Griffiths and Kuss14 found that for some individuals, social media had a significant detrimental effect on relationships, as well as loss of productivity impacting work and academic achievement.  Griffiths and Kuss15 also found additional negative impacts, including anxiety, depression, loneliness, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, and other problematic behaviors such as driving while checking social media.  Multiple researchers had identified the phenomenon of FOMO (fear of missing out) as being associated with higher social media use, lower mood, lower well-being, lower life satisfaction and lower self-esteem

Strategies for Improving Social Health and Wellness

Make Connections

Social connections might help protect health and lengthen life. Scientists are finding that our links to others can have powerful effects on our health. Whether with family, friends, neighbors, romantic partners, or others, social connections can influence our biology and well-being. Look for ways to get involved with others.

To find new social connections:

• Join a group focused on a favorite hobby, such as reading, hiking, painting, or wood carving.
• Learn something new. Take a cooking, writing, art, music, or computer class.
• Take a class in yoga, tai chi, or another new physical activity.
• Join a choral group, theater troupe, band, or orchestra.
• Help with gardening at a community garden or park.
• Volunteer at a school, library, hospital, or place of worship.
• Participate in neighborhood events, like a park clean-up through your local recreation center or community association.
• Join a local community group or find other ways to get involved in things you care about.
• Travel to different places and meet new people.

Get Active Together

Where you live, work, or go to school can have a big impact on how much you move and even how much you weigh. Being active with others in your community can have a positive effect on your health habits and create opportunities to connect. You can help your community create ways to encourage more physical activity.