Today’s youth cannot imagine a world without the technology we have today.  With technological advances, come technological challenges.  We must be ready to guide children with healthy use of technology.

Technology and Relationships – Harmful or helpful? What do you think?

The advances in technology have definitely changed the way we interact with each other. For some, the use of technology can facilitate a relationship. For others, technology can cause problems in a relationship. Research has explored the ways in which technology impacts relationships.

Some would say that cell phones and computers have helped them to increase and enhance their relationships. Technology allows people to communicate more frequently and broadens the scope and number of people that we can communicate with. Others would argue that technology has brought barriers to relationships. People develop fewer skills with “in-person” communication and may be more likely to say hurtful or inappropriate things via technology. There are also many concerns with boundary issues and technology. Have you ever been out to dinner with someone and they take a call or text with someone else while they are with you?  A person is less present with what they are doing and the people they are with when they are somewhere else via a phone call or text conversation.

Communicating through email or other electronic means can be positive as it reminds the person you’re thinking about them and how important they are in your life. Even if such communications are mainly playful or inconsequential, they can help lighten your partner’s day and improve their mood. Some people also find that using email or another method is easier to discuss emotional issues rather than trying to do so face-to-face.

.On the flip side, “Over-communicating” can be a significant issue. The frequency of electronic communication between two people can be problematic. You can probably guess the reasons why frequent texting/messaging can be a problem. One reason is because an individual can become dependent on communicating frequently with someone, and anxiety can be a result if there is not a fairly quick response.  As individuals develop and romantic attractions begin, texting can be very frequent. Why do you think this is problematic? This “over-communicating” can be a sign of insecurity, low self-esteem or overdependence on the relationship.

With the continued progression of technology, we have no choice but to recognize how it fits into our society and our lives and how it impacts children.  Although there are numerous recognizable benefits to technology, there are a number of concerns related to technology use.

• Significant increases in screen time and overuse of electronics
• Children bullying or being bullied online
• The mental health impact of social media and use of technology
• Adults using technology as a “digital pacifier” to occupy children
• Decrease in physical activity and resulting health issues
• Reduced practice with social and communication skills

Research is beginning to show that increased electronics use among youth is correlated with decreased well-being. Although causation has not been proven, this correlation is of concern.

Sexting

Sexting refers to the practice of taking and sending nude or semi-nude photos using cell phones. Some definitions of sexting may also include sexually explicit messages, and transmission through a wide range of technologies.

The emotional pain it causes can be enormous for the individual in the picture as well as the sender and receiver, often with legal implications. Sexting is considered a crime in many jurisdictions. Regardless, there will serious consequences, likely involving the police, suspension, and notation on the individual’s permanent record that could impact getting into college or employment. Because of the media attention and new educational programs, more and more parents and teens are learning that teen sexting is illegal and potentially harmful. Charges brought against teens include “disorderly conduct,” “illegal use of a minor in nudity oriented material,” “open lewdness,” “criminal use of a communications facility,” “telephone harassment,” and “sexual abuse of children.” Under child pornography laws, sexting teens can be charged with production, promotion, possession, and dissemination of child pornography. Sometimes the teens who sent the photos of themselves are charged, sometimes the teens who received the photos are charged, and sometimes both are charged.

Cyber Stalking

According to The National Center for Victims of Crime, “cyber stalking” is threatening communication or unwanted advances directed at another person using the Internet and other forms of online and computer communications. It can involve the use of email, instant messaging, chat rooms, bulletin boards and/or other electronic communication devices to repeatedly harass or threaten another person.

Stalking used to require that the perpetrator and victim be in fairly close proximity. Cyber stalkers can be anywhere and can cause the same kind of trauma to its victims as “traditional” forms of stalking. Cyber stalkers can be difficult to identify. Some change usernames and accounts frequently to slow down or deter the identification process.

In many cases the perpetrator and the victim have known each other either in person or online and the cyber stalking begins after the relationship has ended. In some cases, cyber stalking is committed by strangers who have obtained a victim’s personal information on the Internet. Victims unknowingly put a large amount of personally identifying information online that make things easier for the perpetrator. Cyber stalkers can use the internet to obtain additional information they can use to harass their victims.

Cyber stalkers are generally motivated by a desire to control their victims. Some cyber stalkers have been known to use computer programs to send messages without the cyber stalker even being at their computer. Victims of cyber stalking should tell a friend or family member and send written warning to the perpetrator to stop the harassing behavior or stop contact without going back and forth with the perpetrator. Document all communication with the perpetrator as it may be of assistance should the harassment continue. Saved emails, postings, or other communications including log files from IM and chat clients in both electronic and hardcopy format that are not altered or edited in any way can be helpful. Blocking the person may be a strategy as well.  If the behavior continues, you may also file a complaint with both your Internet service provider and that of the perpetrator.

 Technology Addiction

Are you addicted to technology?  Do you have a compelling urge to check your text messages, e-mail or social media?  Are you hooked on games or web surfing?  People are spending significant amounts of time with technology and report symptoms of withdrawal without access.

Internet Addiction Disorder is viewed as a subset of technology addiction in general. Other areas of media addiction can be seen in television addiction, radio addiction, and other types of media addiction. Internet Addiction Disorder affects the pleasure center of the brain. The behavior triggers a release of dopamine to promote the pleasurable experience activating the release of this chemical. Over time, more and more of the activity is needed to induce the same pleasurable response, creating a dependency.

Just because you use the Internet a lot does not mean you suffer from Internet Addiction Disorder. It becomes a problem when these activities start to interfere with your daily life. In general, Internet Addiction Disorder is subdivided into varying categories, the most common being gaming, social networking, email, blogging, online shopping, and inappropriate Internet pornography use.

Symptoms of Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD)

1 Preoccupation: a strong desire for the internet. Thinking about previous online activity or anticipation of the next online session. Internet use is the dominant activity in daily life

2 Withdrawal: manifested by a dysphoric mood, anxiety, irritability and boredom after several days without internet activity

3 Tolerance: marked increase in internet use required to achieve satisfaction

4 Difficult to control: persistent desire and/or unsuccessful attempts to control, cut back or discontinue internet use

5 Disregard of harmful consequences: continued excessive use of internet despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problems likely to have been caused or exacerbated by internet use

6 Social communications and interests are lost: loss of interests, previous hobbies, entertainment as a direct result of, and with the exception of, internet use

7 Alleviation of negative emotions: uses the internet to escape or relieve a dysphoric mood (e.g. feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety

8 Hiding from friends and relatives: deception of actual costs/time of internet involvement to family members, therapist and others

The variable reinforcement effects of Internet addiction is another cause of this behavior. According to the Variable Ratio Reinforcement Schedule (VRRS) theory, the reason why you might be so addicted to Internet activity (e.g., gaming, gambling, shopping, pornography, etc.), is because it provides multiple layers of rewards. That is, your constant surfing of the Internet leads to multiple rewards that are unpredictable. Perhaps your addiction to social media provides a multiple and unpredictable layer of rewards in the sense that every time you sign on to read your updates, you get repeated and unexpected good news. Each sign on gives you results that keep you entertained and coming back for more. Certain games may lead to Internet addiction because, in effect, they never end.

Gaming Addiction is listed as a mental health condition by the World Health Organization in its International Classification of Diseases (ICD) as “gaming disorder”. The ICD describes it as a pattern of persistent or recurrent gaming behavior so severe that it takes “precedence over other life interests”.

Symptoms include:

• impaired control over gaming (frequency, intensity, duration)
• increased priority given to gaming
• continuation or escalation of gaming despite negative consequences

Gaming disorder is defined in the draft 11th Revision of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) as a pattern of gaming behavior (“digital-gaming” or “video-gaming”) characterized by impaired control over gaming, increasing priority given to gaming over other activities to the extent that gaming takes precedence over other interests and daily activities, and continuation or escalation of gaming despite the occurrence of negative consequences. For gaming disorder to be diagnosed, the behavior pattern must be of sufficient severity to result in significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational or other important areas of functioning and would normally have been evident for at least 12 months.

Should all people who engage in gaming be concerned about developing gaming disorder?

Studies suggest that gaming disorder affects only a small proportion of people who engage in digital- or video-gaming activities. However, people who partake in gaming should be alert to the amount of time they spend on gaming activities, particularly when it is to the exclusion of other daily activities, as well as to any changes in their physical or psychological health and social functioning that could be attributed to their pattern of gaming behavior 14 Awareness is the first step for both prevention and treatment of addictions.  When it comes to attitudes and beliefs, we may also be subject to some denial for our behavior or the behavior of someone we care about.  It is easier for us to rationalize our behavior when we don’t fully believe we are addicted or that we are participating in something that could be harmful. Regardless of the cause, addiction has a tremendous impact on family and friends. Some friends or family members become very involved in the addiction.

Using Technology in Healthy Ways

Does technology increase your anxiety or decrease anxiety?  Technology can certainly be helpful in making contacts conveniently, however, many people also find that it can cause them to have increased anxiety. How do you respond when you forget your phone?  How do you feel when you don’t get a response to your text or e-mail in a short period of time?

Technology can be utilized in positive ways, however, if you find that technology is not making you feel good and it is having a negative impact on your wellness, then you may want to seriously consider setting some healthy boundaries.  Some people reduce or remove notifications. Some decide to discontinue using social media.  Others set boundaries such as limiting the people they connect with and by limiting the amount of time that they utilize social media.  Being thoughtful about when to engage in communication via social media can be helpful as well.  It can be very easy to be reactive and too quick to post something we may regret. Optimally, individuals would utilize social media in a balance with other non-technology based social activities.

Although the 5210 guidelines state that non-recreational screen time should be limited to 2 hours or less per day, it should be noted that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend limiting screen time to just one hour per day or less for children ages two to five.  No screen time is recommended for age 18 months and younger.

Young People Need Guidance

Technology is here to stay and as adults it is our responsibility to guide young people in utilizing technology in healthy ways.  Just as we would not have a toddler cross the street on their own or put a 16 year old in a car to drive on their own without any practice, we should not let children have use of technology without guidance as to how to use it in safe and healthy ways.

There are differences in the quality of what is available via technology.  It would not be wise to let a child have unsupervised access to the internet and any programs that they choose.  However, we can guide them with age-appropriate apps and programs that can support their learning.

The Earliest Use of Technology

Although technology isn’t recommended for those 18 months or under, video calls could be considered quality screen time.  Other ideas that can be helpful for toddlers or preschoolers could involve utilizing a dance app or other programs that encourage healthy physical activity.

Preteens may be better at technology than some adults. It is important to show them that technology can be used for quality activities. We can encourage quality use of technology by encouraging youth to research their interests and utilize educational resources.  We can also encourage them to write and create using technology.  Technology can be used to help support and encourage creativity as we teach children how to create videos and be creative with photography.  They could also create their own theatrical production. As children age, technology can be used for learning creativity, collaboration, problem-solving skills and promoting literacy in the elementary grades.

Supervise and guide youth with technology

Go on social media together.  Talk about what is appropriate.  Use “teachable moments” for things that are not appropriate.

It can be helpful to tell children what they CAN do with technology.

• DO post things that you would want your grandparents to see.
• DO follow people who make you feel good.

True or False?  “What Happens Online, Stays Online”

Adults need to talk with children about the realities of personal information and pictures going viral.  Share true stories that will help them to recognize the dangers of sharing information.  Make them aware of the dangers of online communication with strangers as well.

 Guidance Regarding Healthy Technology Use

1. Talk with your Friends and Family

Have a conversation about when technology should be used and when it shouldn’t.  Talk with children about the potential pitfalls of using technology inappropriately.  For example, allowing yourself to be distracted and disengaged in relationships, during class, etc.  Encourage good self-regulation.  We should make good decisions regardless of whether or not technology use is prohibited.

2. Gain awareness

How many hours are you using technology?  How many times are you checking your phone or other gadget?

3. Establish structure and boundaries

For caregivers that have work obligations that involve technology, set a specific schedule for when you’ll check your email and do your work. Set specific times for technology use for children.  It can be useful to set up a system where priorities are completed before technology is used.  Give plenty of non-technology activity options from a young age so that children grow up learning to incorporate these things into their lives.

4. Exceptions

There may be exceptions when an adult must take a phone call during dinner or spend extra time on technology.  In these situations, communicate with others about it.  Be sure they know that you’re present and available.

5. Designate a “Home” for electronics

It has been recommended that putting our electronic gadgets in a set area, best out of sight out of mind, will be helpful.  It is recommended that electronics not be taken into the bedroom at bedtime.

6. Practice in-person communication

Make conscious efforts to practice interacting with people in person.  Use basic communication skills such as eye contact, body language and using “I” messages.

7. Be aware of the impact on relationships and life

Work with family and friends to help each other maintain healthy boundaries with technology. If you’re spending more time on technology and less time being active or socializing, let your awareness help you maintain your boundaries.  How often you use technology and let it impact your time and your relationships is up to you and your family.  Be sure to stay in control of your technology use, instead of technology use controlling you. Technology can become a true addiction and in that case, assistance may be required to overcome that addiction.