Sex Education
There has been controversy with regard to sex education in schools and policies are approved on a state by state basis. Most parents are in favor of school-based sex education, but some have hesitations. Some parents have fears that learning about sexual education actually promotes sexual activity. Research has shown this is not true. An opposite negative impact has been demonstrated. When youth are uneducated regarding sexual health, there is a tendency toward negative outcomes.
A critical piece of education that should be given to young children involves appropriate and inappropriate touch and behaviors. Young children who do not receive this information are more vulnerable to abuse.
Abstinence-Only vs. Risk-Reduction
Abstinence-only sex education involves teaching only that an individual should abstain from sex. Risk-reduction education involves promoting delay of sexual activity, while at the same time educating with regard to risks and ways to address those risks. In optimal circumstances, youth would abstain, or delay having sex until they are in a committed or married relationship. However, this does not always happen. In fact, in the many cases, if youth do not have information to help reduce their risk of negative outcomes, they are at greater risk. Research has also shown that youth who have been given and followed the abstinence approach have been more likely to have their first sexual encounter unprotected. Abstinence-only education has not been effective overall.
Sexual health education for young people is a challenging topic. Community-based organizations play an important role in delivering sexual health education to adolescents to decrease the incidence of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), HIV and unintended pregnancy. A sexually healthy adolescent is able to realize their individual potential around critical developmental tasks related to sexuality. These tasks include: accepting his/her body; gender identity and sexual orientation; communicating effectively with family, peers and partners; possessing accurate knowledge of human anatomy and physiology; understanding the risks, responsibilities, outcomes and impacts of sexual actions; possessing the skills needed to take action to reduce his/her risk; knowing how to use and access the health care system and other community institutions to seek information, and services as needed; setting appropriate sexual boundaries; acting responsibly according to his/her personal values; and, forming and maintaining meaningful, healthy relationships.
Youth need adults who are there for them—especially parents or caregivers who will connect with them, communicate with them, spend time with them, and show a genuine interest in them. Talking with teens about sex-related topics, including healthy relationships and the prevention of HIV, other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), and pregnancy, is a positive parenting practice that has been widely researched. A number of programs in a variety of settings (e.g., schools, parents’ worksites) have been shown to increase the amount and quality of communication between parents and their teens.
Does talking with teens about sex make a difference?
■ According to teens, the answer is “yes.” In national surveys conducted by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, teens report that their parents have the greatest influence over their decisions about sex—more than friends, siblings, or the media. Most teens also say they share their parents’ values about sex, and making decisions about delaying sex would be easier if they could talk openly and honestly with their parents.
■ According to many researchers, the answer is “yes.” Studies have shown that teens who report talking with their parents about sex are more likely to delay having sex and to use condoms when they do have sex. Parents should be aware that the following important aspects of communication can have an impact on teen sexual behavior.
- what is said
- how it is said
- how often it is said
- how much teens feel cared for, and understood by, their parents
What can parents do?
When parents communicate honestly and openly with their teenage son or daughter about sex, relationships, and the prevention of HIV, STDs, and pregnancy, they can help promote their teen’s health and reduce the chances that their teen will engage in behaviors that place them at risk. Following are some actions and approaches parents might take to improve communication with their teen about these challenging, hard-to-discuss health concerns.
■ Stay informed about—
■ Where your teen is getting information
■ What health messages your teen is learning
■ What health messages are factual and medically accurate Your teen may be getting messages about sex, relationships, and the prevention of HIV, STDs, and pregnancy from a variety of sources, including teachers, friends, health care providers, television, and social media. Some of these messages may be more accurate than others. Don’t assume that your teen’s health education class includes the information you want your child to know—school-based curricula vary from state to state.
■ Identify unique opportunities to have conversations with your teen, such as
■ In the car. The car is a private space where your teen doesn’t have to look at you but can hear what you have to say.
■ Immediately following a relevant TV show/movie. Characters on TV shows and movies model many behaviors, and certain storylines may provide the opportunity to reinforce positive behavior or discuss the consequences of risky behavior.
■ Through text messaging, which may provide an easy, acceptable way to reinforce messages discussed in-person.
■ Have frequent conversations. Although you may know that having “the talk” with your teen about sex and HIV, STD, and pregnancy prevention is important, having a series of discussions that begin early, happen often, and continue over time can make more of a difference than a single conversation.
■ Be relaxed and open. Talking about sex, relationships, and the prevention of HIV, STDs, and pregnancy may not always be comfortable or easy, but you can encourage your teen to ask you questions and be prepared to give fair and honest answers. This will keep the door open for both of you to bring up the topic. It’s OK to say you’re feeling uncomfortable or that you don’t have all the answers.
■ Avoid overreacting. When your teen shares personal information with you, keep in mind that he or she may be asking for your input or wants to know how you feel. Let your teen know that you value his or her opinion, even if it is different from yours
■ Provide opportunities for conversations between your teen and health care professionals. By taking your teen to regular, preventive care appointments and allowing time alone with the provider, you create opportunities for your teen to talk confidentially with doctors or nurses about health issues that may be of concern, including HIV, STDs, and pregnancy. Be prepared to suggest that you step out of the room for a moment to allow for this special time, as not all health care providers will feel comfortable asking you to leave the room.
What topics should parents discuss with their teens?
It’s important that your conversations with your teen not focus just on the consequences of risky sexual behaviors. Many teens receive these messages in health education class or elsewhere. As a parent, you have the opportunity to have discussions with your teen about other related topics. You can
■ Talk about healthy, respectful relationships.
■ Communicate your own expectations for your teen about relationships and sex.
■ Provide factual information about ways to prevent HIV, STDs, and pregnancy (e.g., abstinence, condoms and contraception, and HIV/STD testing).
■ Focus on the benefits of protecting oneself from HIV, STDs, and pregnancy.
■ Provide information about where your teen can speak with a provider and receive sexual health services, such as HIV/STD testing.
How can parents improve their communication skills?
Various organizations have developed programs to help build parents’ skills and improve parent-adolescent communication. These skill-building programs may be implemented in schools, health clinics, community-based settings, and even places where parents work. Parents, educators, health care providers, community-based staff, and employers can work together to promote positive communication between parents and adolescents about sex.
