Physical Punishment & Alternatives –

Is spanking considered abuse?  A large number of organizations in the US prohibit physical punishment, including spanking, as physical punishment has been linked with abuse. In the heat of the moment, using physical means of punishment is more likely to escalate than non-physical punishment. However, spanking is currently not illegal in a household, as long as there is no physical harm to the child.  If there are markings as a result of the spanking, it would qualify as abuse.

Although there is much research that has revealed many potential negative outcomes related to physical punishment, it remains a controversial issue, as a number of people feel that the way they were raised is the only way.  Some parents say they don’t know what else to do.  It is true that a caregiver may get a more immediate result when using physical punishment, however, in the long term it does not guide the child in appropriate behavior.  In fact, by spanking, a caregiver would be demonstrating that hitting is an appropriate option for solving problems.  On the other hand, more and more people are now utilizing alternatives to physical punishment to avoid the potential for negative outcomes.  Yes, using alternative strategies can take longer to obtain the desired behavior than the threat of physical punishment, but in the long term have been found to be more effective and much better for overall outcomes.

Researchers, Durrant and Ensome, state, “The growing weight of evidence and the recognition of children’s rights have brought us to a historical point. Physicians familiar with the research can now confidently encourage parents to adopt constructive (non-physical) approaches to discipline and can comfortably use their unique influence to guide other aspects of children’s healthy development. In doing so, physicians strengthen child well-being and parent–child relationships at the population level.”

The Joint Statement on Physical Punishment of Children and Youth finds:  The evidence is clear and compelling — physical punishment of children and youth plays no useful role in their upbringing and poses only risks to their development. The conclusion is equally compelling — parents should be strongly encouraged to develop alternative and positive approaches to discipline.

Key points

• Numerous studies have found that physical punishment increases the risk of broad and enduring negative developmental outcomes.
• No study has found that physical punishment enhances developmental health.
• Most child physical abuse occurs in the context of punishment.
• A professional consensus is emerging that parents should be supported in learning nonviolent, effective approaches to discipline. 

Alternatives to Physical Punishment –

There are a number of documents outlining the research and rationale behind using alternatives INSTEAD of physical discipline.  Although it can take more time for children to learn behavior with non-physical strategies, in the long run it is beneficial for households and for societal reductions in violence.

Parenting Strategies

Parenting experts recommend that parents create a plan in advance so that they have discussed how they will respond to child behavior in a variety of situations. Children do well with structure and knowing what to expect. Creating a plan can also reduce the chances of a parent responding impulsively or out of anger.

Modeling patience and calm responses is one of the best ways to teach children healthy ways to deal with disappointment and conflict.  Is this easy, NO, especially if our caregivers did not model this.  It does take practice, and no one is perfect, but great strides can be made.

Manage stress levels and find support.  Stress management for caregivers is one of the most significant prevention measures that can be taken to avoid abusive situations.

Looking for the positives – It can be easy to focus on the negative behaviors of a child.  They didn’t do this, they didn’t do that right. The number of negative comments a child gets per day usually far outweigh the number of positive comments.  We need to remember that they are children and they are learning so it is natural that there will be many areas that need guidance.  However, behavioral research has shown us that using positives to guide behavior can be very powerful.  When we give all or most of our attention to the negatives the child learns that by doing negative things, they will get attention!  So flipping that around will help encourage the child to carry out positive behaviors. Look for the positives, look for the greatness in a child.  When you see anything positive, no matter how small, make a positive comment.  “I really like how you put your shoes away without even being asked! It feels great to see you being an important part of our family team.”

Try these additional alternatives as well:

• Redirecting children to a more suitable activity;
• Rewarding children who follow the rules;
• Utilizing time-outs or cool downs for short periods of time;
• Helping children to avoid situations and activities that naturally lead to misbehavior;
• Removing privileges;
• Allowing for natural consequences to result from negative behavior;
• Giving additional chores;
• Grounding older children from certain activities or friends;
• Communicating with children about problem behavior and allowing them to contribute to strategies.

Finding out the roots of the behavior can be extremely helpful in preventing future behavior issues. Behaviors are often the way that children act out their feelings when they do not know how to otherwise communicate.  There could also be an underlying health issue causing behavioral issues.

Consider the individual child as well – Children who may have disorders such as ADHD, FAS or other neurobehavioral disorders will not respond like a typical child.  Although it may seem that harsher consequences would be warranted for these children, that isn’t necessarily the case.  For some children, consequences will not be effective. Incentives may be a better approach.

It can help parents to think of children as developing individuals and that it can take a child’s brain some time to interpret what is being asked of them.  Some children’s brains have great difficulty with their working memory and if they are given multiple directives will be unable to follow through. Structure, support, consistency and follow through are important with these children as with any child.

Points to Remember:

• Children are not able to advocate for themselves and need adults to be aware and advocate for them.
• If you experienced abusive or inappropriate behavior as a child, as an adult, you now have a choice to make a change for the better.
• Managing caregiver stress is a key factor in preventing abuse.