Even if a victim of sexual assault drank alcohol or willingly took drugs, the victim is not at fault for being assaulted. You cannot “ask for it” or cause it to happen. Still, it’s important to be vigilant and take common-sense steps to avoid putting yourself at risk. Take the following steps to protect yourself from becoming a victim:

• Don’t accept drinks from other people.
• Open containers yourself.
• Keep your drink with you at all times, even when you go to the bathroom.
• Don’t share drinks.
• Don’t drink from punch bowls or other common, open containers. They may already have drugs in them.
• If someone offers to get you a drink from a bar or at a party, go with the person to order your drink. Watch the drink being poured and carry it yourself.
• Don’t drink anything that tastes or smells strange. Remember, GHB sometimes tastes salty.
• Have a non-drinking friend with you to make sure nothing happens.
• If you realize you left your drink unattended, pour it out.
• If you feel drunk and haven’t drunk any alcohol—or, if you feel like the effects of drinking alcohol are stronger than usual—get help right away.

How and Where to Get Help

Take the following steps if you or someone you know has been raped, or you think you might have been drugged and raped:

• Get medical care right away. Call 911 or have a trusted friend take you to a hospital emergency room. Don’t urinate, douche, bathe, brush your teeth, wash your hands, change clothes, or eat or drink before you go. These things may give evidence of the rape. The hospital will use a rape kit to collect evidence.
• Call the police from the hospital. Tell the police exactly what you remember. Be honest about all your activities. Remember, nothing you did—including drinking alcohol or doing drugs—can justify rape.
• Ask the hospital to take a urine (pee) sample that can be used to test for date rape drugs. The drugs leave your system quickly. Rohypnol stays in the body for several hours and can be detected in the urine up to 72 hours after taking it. GHB leaves the body in 12 hours. Don’t urinate before going to the hospital.
• Don’t pick up or clean up where you think the assault might have occurred. There could be evidence left behind—such as on a drinking glass or bed sheets.
• Get counseling and treatment. Feelings of shame, guilt, fear, and shock are normal. A counselor can help you work through these emotions and begin the healing process. Calling a crisis center or a hotline is a good place to start. One national hotline is the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE.

Rape Culture & Rape Myths

There are common rape myths according to statistics from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC).

Some key rape myths are summarized as follows:

• The belief that false accusations are a common problem. They’re not. According to NSVRC, only two to ten percent of sexual assault reports are false. Likewise, rapes and sexual assault are also vastly under reported, and of those that are, an even smaller amount result in a conviction.
  
• That males cannot be the victims of rape and sexual assault. Williams indicates one in sixteen men on a college campus is a victim of sexual assault.  Bisexual and gay men are at a nearly fifty percent higher risk than heterosexual men to be victims of sexual violence other than rape.
• The idea that rapists are generally sexually frustrated men. Rape is about power and control, not just a sexual impulse. This myth also discounts the fact that women can’t rape men or that they can’t engage in sexual violence.

With these statistics in mind, let’s learn about what consent means.

What Consent Looks Like

We’ve discussed ways to avoid putting oneself at risk, but what does consent look like?

According to RAIIN, consent is an agreement between participants to engage in sexual activity. Consent should be clearly and freely communicated. A verbal and affirmative expression of consent can help partners understand and respect each other’s boundaries. Consent cannot be given by individuals who are underage, intoxicated or incapacitated by drugs or alcohol, or asleep or unconscious.^[2]

Planned Parenthood’s motto is, “Consent is as easy as FRIES”:

• Freely given. Consenting is a choice you make without pressure, manipulation, or under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
• Reversible. Anyone can change their mind about what they feel like doing, anytime. Even if you’ve done it before, and even if you’re both naked in bed.
• Informed. You can only consent to something if you have the full story. For example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, there isn’t full consent.
• Enthusiastic. When it comes to sex, you should only do stuff you WANT to do, not things that you feel you’re expected to do.
• Specific. Saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn’t mean you’ve said yes to others (like having sex).

Anyone can be a victim of sexual assault or rape regardless of their gender, sexual orientation, or age. However, certain groups of people are more likely than others to experience sexual assault. Women (especially women of color), LGBT-identified people, and people with developmental disabilities are more likely to experience sexual assault over the course of their lifetimes.^[3]

Watch this video series about consent to learn how you know if someone wants to have sex with you, when someone definitely wants sex, when someone isn’t quite sure if they want to have sex, and when someone doesn’t want sex (and how to handle it).