Developing your Thesis Statement

Learning Objectives

Identify strategies for developing and revising a thesis statement

Sign warns "Trail Under Construction"

You should consider your thesis under construction throughout the writing process. Each time you return to it and revise it, it becomes more precise and decisive.

There’s no one way to write a good thesis statement, which can be a blessing and a curse. Many students look for a tried and true formula, but the truth is that there are just too many variables to consider. The real key to writing a strong thesis statement is understanding the core of your argument and how you want to engage your audience.

Throughout the writing process, you should return to your working thesis and see if it can be honed into a more precise and decisive thesis statement. This thesis statement, in turn, needs to be tweaked and revised until it becomes the best possible articulation of your paper’s claim.

The best way to revise your thesis statement is to ask questions about it and then examine the answers to those questions. By challenging your own ideas and forming definite reasons for those ideas, you can move toward a more precise point of view, which you can then incorporate into your thesis statement.

  • Who?
    • Ask yourself: who is the subject of my argument? For instance, if your argument is that bow hunting season should be longer, who would actually make that happen? So now the argument becomes “The Department of Fish and Wildlife should extend bow hunting season….”
  • Where?
    • Are we talking about the whole world? One country? One city?
  • When?
    • Think about the timeline for your claim. If you’re suggesting a change, when should it happen? If you’re identifying a trend, how long has it been going on?
  • What?
    • Look out for vague or broad terms, and replace them with more specific ones. Strong thesis statements need to be precise.
  • Why?
    • Asking “why” questions can help identify the stakes of your argument for your particular audience. Why should your reader care? Why is your solution important?

Revising a thesis

Step Revision Impact

Identify and replace all nonspecific words, such as people, everything, society, or life, with more precise words to reduce any vagueness.

Working thesis: Society should support basic science because it has many beneficial effects.

Revised thesis: The U.S. government should increase funding for basic science research because many of these theoretical research projects have led to concrete advances in health, communication, and technology. 

The revised thesis makes a more specific statement about funding for research in basic science. The original includes too broad a range of people (“society”) and does not define exactly what “support” entails. By replacing the general words like “society,” “support,” and “many beneficial effects,” you can better focus your research and gain more direction in your writing.

Clarify ideas that need explanation by asking questions that narrow your thesis.

Working thesis: The welfare system is a joke.

Revised thesis: The welfare system prevents people in the lower socioeconomic class from gaining employment by alluring members of that class with unearned income, instead of programs to improve their education and skill sets.

Joke means many things to many people. Readers bring all sorts of backgrounds and perspectives to the reading process and would need clarification for a word so vague. This expression may also be too informal for the selected audience. By asking questions, you can devise a more precise and appropriate explanation for joke. By incorporating the answers to these questions into a thesis statement, you more accurately define your stance, which will better guide the writing of the essay.

Replace linking verbs with action verbs. Linking verbs do provide information about a subject, such as a condition or relationship, but they do not describe any action. The most common linking verb is any forms of the verb to be, a verb that simply states that a situation exists.

Working thesis: Individuals who are homeless are not receiving adequate healthcare.

Revised thesis: The U.S. healthcare system is not providing sufficient funding to support individuals who are homeless, resulting in inequitable healthcare resources and inadequately diverse approaches to provide required services and access to healthcare.

The linking verb in this working thesis statement is the word: are. Linking verbs often make thesis statements weaker because they do not express action. Reading the original thesis statement, readers might wonder why individuals who are homeless are not receiving adequate healthcare; the statement does not compel you to ask many more questions. You should ask yourself questions in order to replace the linking verb with an action verb, thus forming a stronger thesis statement – one that takes a more definitive stance on the issue. For example: Who is not providing adequate healthcare to individuals who are homeless? What is considered adequate? What is the problem? What are the results?

Omit any general claims that are hard to support.

Working thesis: Today’s adolescents are too sexualized.

Revised thesis: Adolescents who are captivated by the sexual images on MTV are conditioned to believe that a person’s worth depends on their sexuality, a feeling that harms their self-esteem and behavior.

It is true that some adolescents in today’s society are more sexualized than in the past, but that is not true for all. Many adolescents have strict parents, dress modestly, and do not engage in sexual activity while in middle school or high school. Here, it would be helpful to ask questions like: Which adolescents? What constitutes too sexualized? Why are they choosing certain behaviors over others? Where does this behavior show up? What are the repercussions?

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