{"id":570,"date":"2021-03-30T18:10:36","date_gmt":"2021-03-30T18:10:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-englishcomp2\/?post_type=chapter&#038;p=570"},"modified":"2021-10-22T17:36:12","modified_gmt":"2021-10-22T17:36:12","slug":"introduction-to-revising-for-clarity","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-englishcomp2\/chapter\/introduction-to-revising-for-clarity\/","title":{"raw":"Introduction to Revising for Clarity","rendered":"Introduction to Revising for Clarity"},"content":{"raw":"Writing clearly is important. It's so important, in fact, that it's actually the law:\u00a0The Plain Writing Act of 2010 was signed on October 13, 2010.\u00a0The law \"requires that federal agencies use clear government communication that the public can understand and use\" (United States, General Services Administration). You can probably imagine why this would be a good idea. Consider this rewrite of the\u00a0General Services Administration regulation on travel for government business:\r\n<table style=\"border-collapse: collapse; width: 100%;\" border=\"1\">\r\n<tbody>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td style=\"width: 50%; vertical-align: top;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><b>BEFORE<\/b><\/span>\r\n\r\nSection 301-2.5(b) Indirect-route or interrupted travel.\r\n\r\nWhen a person for his\/her own convenience travels by an indirect route or interrupts travel by a direct route, the extra expenses shall be borne by him\/her. Reimbursement for expenses shall be based only on such charges as would have been incurred by a usually traveled route. An employee may not use contract airline\/rail passenger service provided under contract with the General Services Administration (see part 301-15, subpart B, or this chapter) for that portion of travel by an indirect route which is for personal convenience. Additionally, an employee may not use a U.S. Government Transportation Request (GTR) (see section 301-10.2 of this chapter) or a contractor-issued charge card (see part 301-15, subpart C, of this chapter) for procurement of commercial carrier transportation services for that portion of travel by an indirect route which is for personal convenience. An employee may, however, use contract airline\/rail passenger service, as well as a GTR or contractor-issued charge card, for portions of travel that are authorized to be performed at Government expense. (See section 301-11.5(a) of this chapter regarding reimbursement claims for travel that involves an indirect route.)<\/td>\r\n<td style=\"width: 50%; vertical-align: top;\"><span style=\"color: #339966;\"><b>AFTER<\/b><\/span>\r\n\r\nSection 301.10.8 What is my liability if, for personal convenience, I travel or use an indirect route?\r\n\r\nIf you travel on government business by anything other than the most direct, least cost route available, you must pay for the added costs so the taxpayers don't.\r\n\r\n(https:\/\/govinfo.library.unt.edu\/npr\/library\/news\/092498.html)<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<\/tbody>\r\n<\/table>\r\nOf course, GSA travel reimbursement is a fairly low-stakes case, but consider how important it is for people to be able to understand laws, regulations, and other government communications.\r\n\r\nAlthough you certainly won't be prosecuted if you write incomprehensible prose, clear writing is key to meeting the goals of most writing tasks. Even specialized scientists aren't exempt from the need to make their work comprehensible: a recent study reported in the <em>New York Times<\/em> found that \"papers containing higher proportions of jargon in their titles and abstracts were cited less frequently by other researchers\" (Kornei). In other words, if you want people to pay attention to your writing, write clearly.\r\n\r\nThis section focuses on revising for clarity -- it explains why clear writing is important, shows you how to make a clear argument, and outlines some strategies for correcting sentence-level errors.\r\n\r\n[reveal-answer q=\"339838\"]Works Cited[\/reveal-answer]\r\n[hidden-answer a=\"339838\"]\r\n\r\nKornei, Katherine. \"Are You Confused by Scientific Jargon? So Are Scientists.\"\u00a0<em>The New York Times,<\/em>\u00a0Apr. 9, 2021.\r\n<p class=\"hanging-indent\">United States, General Services Administration. \"Law and requirements.\"\u00a0<em>plainlanguage.gov<\/em>.\u00a0https:\/\/www.plainlanguage.gov\/law\/<\/p>\r\n[\/hidden-answer]","rendered":"<p>Writing clearly is important. It&#8217;s so important, in fact, that it&#8217;s actually the law:\u00a0The Plain Writing Act of 2010 was signed on October 13, 2010.\u00a0The law &#8220;requires that federal agencies use clear government communication that the public can understand and use&#8221; (United States, General Services Administration). You can probably imagine why this would be a good idea. Consider this rewrite of the\u00a0General Services Administration regulation on travel for government business:<\/p>\n<table style=\"border-collapse: collapse; width: 100%;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 50%; vertical-align: top;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><b>BEFORE<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Section 301-2.5(b) Indirect-route or interrupted travel.<\/p>\n<p>When a person for his\/her own convenience travels by an indirect route or interrupts travel by a direct route, the extra expenses shall be borne by him\/her. Reimbursement for expenses shall be based only on such charges as would have been incurred by a usually traveled route. An employee may not use contract airline\/rail passenger service provided under contract with the General Services Administration (see part 301-15, subpart B, or this chapter) for that portion of travel by an indirect route which is for personal convenience. Additionally, an employee may not use a U.S. Government Transportation Request (GTR) (see section 301-10.2 of this chapter) or a contractor-issued charge card (see part 301-15, subpart C, of this chapter) for procurement of commercial carrier transportation services for that portion of travel by an indirect route which is for personal convenience. An employee may, however, use contract airline\/rail passenger service, as well as a GTR or contractor-issued charge card, for portions of travel that are authorized to be performed at Government expense. (See section 301-11.5(a) of this chapter regarding reimbursement claims for travel that involves an indirect route.)<\/td>\n<td style=\"width: 50%; vertical-align: top;\"><span style=\"color: #339966;\"><b>AFTER<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Section 301.10.8 What is my liability if, for personal convenience, I travel or use an indirect route?<\/p>\n<p>If you travel on government business by anything other than the most direct, least cost route available, you must pay for the added costs so the taxpayers don&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p>(https:\/\/govinfo.library.unt.edu\/npr\/library\/news\/092498.html)<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>Of course, GSA travel reimbursement is a fairly low-stakes case, but consider how important it is for people to be able to understand laws, regulations, and other government communications.<\/p>\n<p>Although you certainly won&#8217;t be prosecuted if you write incomprehensible prose, clear writing is key to meeting the goals of most writing tasks. Even specialized scientists aren&#8217;t exempt from the need to make their work comprehensible: a recent study reported in the <em>New York Times<\/em> found that &#8220;papers containing higher proportions of jargon in their titles and abstracts were cited less frequently by other researchers&#8221; (Kornei). In other words, if you want people to pay attention to your writing, write clearly.<\/p>\n<p>This section focuses on revising for clarity &#8212; it explains why clear writing is important, shows you how to make a clear argument, and outlines some strategies for correcting sentence-level errors.<\/p>\n<div class=\"qa-wrapper\" style=\"display: block\"><span class=\"show-answer collapsed\" style=\"cursor: pointer\" data-target=\"q339838\">Works Cited<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"q339838\" class=\"hidden-answer\" style=\"display: none\">\n<p>Kornei, Katherine. &#8220;Are You Confused by Scientific Jargon? So Are Scientists.&#8221;\u00a0<em>The New York Times,<\/em>\u00a0Apr. 9, 2021.<\/p>\n<p class=\"hanging-indent\">United States, General Services Administration. &#8220;Law and requirements.&#8221;\u00a0<em>plainlanguage.gov<\/em>.\u00a0https:\/\/www.plainlanguage.gov\/law\/<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t <section class=\"citations-section\" role=\"contentinfo\">\n\t\t\t <h3>Candela Citations<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\t <div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t <div id=\"citation-list-570\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t <div class=\"licensing\"><div class=\"license-attribution-dropdown-subheading\">Public domain content<\/div><ul class=\"citation-list\"><li>Plain Writing act. <strong>Provided by<\/strong>: General Services Administration. <strong>Located at<\/strong>: <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.plainlanguage.gov\/law\/\">https:\/\/www.plainlanguage.gov\/law\/<\/a>. <strong>License<\/strong>: <em><a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"license\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/about\/pdm\">Public Domain: No Known Copyright<\/a><\/em><\/li><\/ul><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t <\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t <\/div>\n\t\t\t <\/section>","protected":false},"author":161083,"menu_order":5,"template":"","meta":{"_candela_citation":"[{\"type\":\"pd\",\"description\":\"Plain Writing act\",\"author\":\"\",\"organization\":\"General Services Administration\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.plainlanguage.gov\/law\/\",\"project\":\"\",\"license\":\"pd\",\"license_terms\":\"\"}]","CANDELA_OUTCOMES_GUID":"c94395c3-917f-499c-b956-52a1a68508ff","pb_show_title":"on","pb_short_title":"","pb_subtitle":"","pb_authors":[],"pb_section_license":""},"chapter-type":[],"contributor":[],"license":[],"class_list":["post-570","chapter","type-chapter","status-publish","hentry"],"part":85,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-englishcomp2\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/570","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-englishcomp2\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-englishcomp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/chapter"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-englishcomp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/161083"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-englishcomp2\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/570\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3449,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-englishcomp2\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/570\/revisions\/3449"}],"part":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-englishcomp2\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/parts\/85"}],"metadata":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-englishcomp2\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/570\/metadata\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-englishcomp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=570"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"chapter-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-englishcomp2\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapter-type?post=570"},{"taxonomy":"contributor","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-englishcomp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/contributor?post=570"},{"taxonomy":"license","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-englishcomp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/license?post=570"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}