{"id":276,"date":"2014-09-26T21:09:21","date_gmt":"2014-09-26T21:09:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/courses.candelalearning.com\/lifespandevelopment1x1\/?post_type=chapter&#038;p=276"},"modified":"2024-04-30T19:14:13","modified_gmt":"2024-04-30T19:14:13","slug":"family-life-and-parenting-styles","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-lifespandevelopment\/chapter\/family-life-and-parenting-styles\/","title":{"raw":"Family Life and Parenting Styles","rendered":"Family Life and Parenting Styles"},"content":{"raw":"<div class=\"textbox learning-objectives\">\r\n<h3>Learning Outcomes<\/h3>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>Describe the impact of different parenting styles on children's development<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<h2>Parenting Styles<\/h2>\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_3345\" align=\"alignright\" width=\"224\"]<img class=\"wp-image-3345\" src=\"https:\/\/s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com\/courses-images\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3707\/2014\/09\/11190256\/adult-baby-celebration-child-daughter-daylight-1533673-pxhere.com_-200x300.jpg\" alt=\"Smiling man holding his young daughter on his shoulders.\" width=\"224\" height=\"335\" \/> <strong>Figure 1<\/strong>. Parenting styles may fluctuate or evolve depending on the situation.[\/caption]\r\n\r\nRelationships between parents and children continue to play a significant role in children\u2019s development during early childhood.\u00a0We will explore two models of parenting styles. Keep in mind that most parents do not follow any model completely.\u00a0Real people tend to fall somewhere in between these styles.\u00a0And sometimes parenting styles change from one child to the next or in times when the parent has more or less time and energy for parenting.\u00a0Parenting styles can also be affected by concerns the parent has in other areas of their life.\u00a0For example, parenting styles tend to become more authoritarian when parents are tired and perhaps more authoritative when they are more energetic. Sometimes parents seem to change their\u00a0parenting approach when others are around, maybe because they become more self-conscious as parents or are concerned with giving others the impression that they are a \u201ctough\u201d parent or an \u201ceasy-going\u201d parent.\u00a0And of course, parenting styles may reflect the type of parenting someone saw modeled while growing up.\r\n<h3>Baumrind's Parenting Styles<\/h3>\r\nBaumrind\u00a0(1971) offers a model of parenting that includes three styles.\u00a0The\u00a0first,\u00a0<strong>authoritarian<\/strong>, is the traditional model of parenting in which parents make the rules and children are expected to be obedient.\u00a0Baumrind suggests that authoritarian parents tend to place maturity demands on their children that are unreasonably high and tend to be aloof and distant.\u00a0Consequently, children reared in this way may fear rather than respect their parents and, because their parents do not allow discussion, may take out their frustrations on safer targets - perhaps as bullies toward peers.\r\n\r\n<strong>Permissive\u00a0parenting<\/strong> involves being a friend to a child rather than an authority figure.\u00a0Children are allowed to make their own rules and determine their own activities.\u00a0Parents are warm and communicative but provide little structure for their children.\u00a0Children may fail to learn self-discipline and may feel somewhat insecure because they do not know the limits.\r\n\r\n<strong>Authoritative\u00a0parenting<\/strong> involves being appropriately strict, reasonable, and affectionate.\u00a0Parents allow negotiation where appropriate and discipline matches the severity of the offense.\u00a0A popular parenting program that is offered in many school districts is called \u201cLove and Logic\u201d and reflects the authoritative or democratic style of parenting just described.\r\n\r\nToday we recognize a fourth style within the Baumrind framework: <strong>uninvolved\u00a0parenting.<\/strong> These parents\u00a0are disengaged from their children. They do not make demands on their children and are non-responsive. These children can suffer in school and in their relationships with their peers (Gecas &amp; Self, 1991).\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_3343\" align=\"aligncenter\" width=\"800\"]<a href=\"https:\/\/s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com\/courses-images\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3707\/2014\/09\/11184528\/original-8.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-3343 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com\/courses-images\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3707\/2014\/09\/11184528\/original-8.jpg\" alt=\"Chart of parenting styles. Those with low warmth\/responsiveness and low expectations\/control are uninvolved. Those with low expectations and high warmth are permissive. those with high expectations and low warmth are authoritarian. Those with high expectations and high warmth are authoritative.\" width=\"800\" height=\"404\" \/><\/a> <strong>Figure 2<\/strong>. Parents who are both warm and responsive while still maintaining a high level of control are considered authoritative.[\/caption]\r\n<h3>Lemasters and Defrain's Parenting Model<\/h3>\r\nLemasters and Defrain\u00a0(1989) offered yet another model of parenting.\u00a0This model is interesting because it looks more closely at the motivations of the parent and suggests that parenting styles are often designed to meet the psychological needs of the parent rather than the developmental needs of the child.\r\n\r\nThe<strong>\u00a0martyr<\/strong>\u00a0is a parent who will do anything for the child, even tasks that the child should do for themselves.\u00a0All of the good deeds performed for the child, in the name of being a \u201cgood parent,\u201d may be used later should the parent want to gain compliance from the child.\u00a0If\u00a0a child goes against the parent\u2019s wishes, the parent can remind the child of all of the times the parent helped the child and evoke a feeling of guilt so that the child will do what the parent wants.\u00a0The\u00a0child learns to be dependent and manipulative as a result.\u00a0(Beware, a parent busy whipping up cookies may really be thinking \u201ccontrol\u201d!)\r\n\r\nThe\u00a0<strong>pal<\/strong>\u00a0is like the permissive parent described in Baumrind\u2019s model above.\u00a0The\u00a0pal wants to be the child\u2019s friend.\u00a0Perhaps the parent is lonely, or perhaps the parent is trying to win a popularity contest against an ex-spouse.\u00a0Pals let children do what they want and focus most on being entertaining and fun. They set few limitations.\u00a0Consequently, the child may have little self-discipline and may try to test limits with others.\r\n\r\nThe\u00a0<strong>police officer\/drill sergeant\u00a0<\/strong>style of parenting is similar to the authoritarian parent described above.\u00a0The\u00a0parent focuses primarily on making sure that the child is obedient and that the parent has full control of the child.\u00a0Sometimes this can be taken to extremes by giving the child tasks that are really designed to check on their level of obedience.\u00a0For example, the parent may require that the child fold the clothes and place items back in the drawer in a particular way.\u00a0If\u00a0not, the child might be scolded or punished for not doing things \u201cright.\u201d This type of parent has a very difficult time allowing the child to grow and learn to make decisions independently.\u00a0And the child may have a lot of resentment toward the parent that is displaced on others.\r\n\r\nThe<strong>\u00a0teacher-counselor\u00a0<\/strong>parent is one who pays a lot of attention to expert advice on parenting and who believes that as long as all of the steps are followed, the parent can rear a perfect child.\u00a0\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with that?\u201d you might ask.\u00a0There are two major problems with this approach.\u00a0First, the parent is taking all of the responsibility for the child\u2019s behavior, at least indirectly.\u00a0If\u00a0the child has difficulty, the parent feels responsible and thinks that the solution lies in reading more advice and trying more diligently to follow that advice.\u00a0Parents can certainly influence children, but thinking that the parent is fully responsible for the child\u2019s outcome is faulty. A parent can only do so much and can never have full control over the child.\u00a0Another problem with this approach is that the child may get an unrealistic sense of the world and what can be expected from others.\u00a0For example, if a teacher-counselor parent decides to help the child build self-esteem and has read that telling the child how special they are or how important it is to compliment the child on a job well done, the parent may convey the message that everything the child does is exceptional or extraordinary.\u00a0A child may come to expect that all of their efforts warrant praise, and in the real world, this is not something one can expect.\u00a0Perhaps children get more of a sense of pride from assessing their own performance than from having others praise their efforts.\r\n\r\nSo what is left?\u00a0Lemasters and Defrain (1989) suggest that the\u00a0<strong>athletic coach\u00a0style of parenting<\/strong> is best.\u00a0Before\u00a0you draw conclusions here, set aside any negative experiences you may have had with coaches in the past.\u00a0The\u00a0principles of coaching are what are important to Lemasters and Defrain.\u00a0A coach helps players form strategies, supports their efforts, gives feedback on what went right and what went wrong, and stands at the sideline while the players perform.\u00a0Coaches and referees make sure that the rules of the game are followed and that all players adhere to those rules.\u00a0Similarly, the athletic coach as parent helps the child understand what needs to happen in certain situations whether in friendships, school, or home life and encourages and advises the child about how to manage these situations.\u00a0The\u00a0parent does not intervene or do things for the child.\u00a0Rather, the parent\u2019s role is to provide guidance while the child learns firsthand how to handle these situations.\u00a0The rules for behavior are consistent and objective and presented in that way.\u00a0So, a child who is late for dinner might hear the parent respond in this way, \u201cDinner was at six o\u2019clock.\u201d\u00a0 Rather than, \u201cYou know good and well that we always eat at six.\u00a0If\u00a0you expect me to get up and make something for you now, you have got another thing coming!\u00a0Just who do you think you are showing up late and looking for food?\u00a0You\u2019re grounded until further notice!\u201d\r\n\r\nThe most important thing to remember about parenting is that you can be a better, more objective parent when you are directing your actions toward the child\u2019s needs while considering what they can reasonably be expected to do at their stage of development.\u00a0Parenting is more difficult when you are tired and have psychological needs that interfere with the relationship.\u00a0Some of the best advice for parents is to try not to take the child\u2019s actions personally, and be as objective as possible.\r\n<h3>Class and Culture<\/h3>\r\nThe impact of class and culture\u00a0cannot be ignored when examining parenting styles.\u00a0The\u00a0two models of parenting described above assume that authoritative and athletic coaching styles are best because they are designed to help the parent raise a child who is independent, self-reliant, and responsible.\u00a0These are qualities favored in \u201cindividualistic\u201d cultures such as the United States, particularly by the middle class.\r\n\r\nAuthoritarian parenting has been used historically and reflects the cultural need for children to do as they are told.\u00a0African-American, Hispanic, and Asian parents tend to be more authoritarian than non-Hispanic whites. In collectivistic cultures such as China or Korea, being obedient and compliant are favored behaviors. In societies where family members\u2019 cooperation is necessary for survival, as in the case of raising crops, rearing children who are independent and who strive to be on their own makes no sense.\u00a0But in an economy based on being mobile in order to find jobs and where one\u2019s earnings are based on education, raising a child to be independent is very important.\r\n\r\nWorking-class parents are more likely than middle-class parents to focus on obedience and honesty when raising their children.\u00a0In a classic study on social class and parenting styles called\u00a0<em>Class and Conformity<\/em>, Kohn (1977) explained that parents tend to emphasize qualities that are needed for their own survival when parenting their children.\u00a0Working-class parents are rewarded for being obedient, reliable, and honest in their jobs.\u00a0They are not paid to be independent or to question the management; rather, they move up and are considered good employees if they show up on time, do their work as they are told, and can be counted on by their employers.\u00a0Consequently, these parents reward honesty and obedience in their children.\u00a0Middle-class parents who work as professionals are rewarded for taking initiative, being self-directed, and being assertive in their jobs.\u00a0They are required to get the job done without being told exactly what to do.\u00a0They are asked to be innovative and to work independently.\u00a0These parents encourage their children to have those qualities as well by rewarding independence and self-reliance.\u00a0Parenting styles can reflect many elements of culture.\r\n<div class=\"textbox exercises\">\r\n<h3>Link to Learning<\/h3>\r\nIn <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?time_continue=86&amp;v=RMxqTXgRO9E\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Scout O'Donnell's TED Talk,<\/a>\u00a0she describes the alternative parenting style used by her parents. Can you find elements of authoritative and coaching parenting, along with a little Love and Logic?\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"textbox tryit\">\r\n<h3>Try It<\/h3>\r\nhttps:\/\/assess.lumenlearning.com\/practice\/1dd697ef-1f50-4d2f-9663-4011bdc240e9\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n<h2><strong>Child Care Concerns<\/strong><\/h2>\r\nAbout 75.7 percent of mothers of school-aged and 65.1 percent of mothers of preschool-aged children in the United States\u00a0work outside the home[footnote](April 2018) \"Employment Characteristics of Families.\" Bureau of Labor Statistics. Retrieved from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bls.gov\/news.release\/pdf\/famee.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">https:\/\/www.bls.gov\/news.release\/pdf\/famee.pdf<\/a>[\/footnote].\u00a0Since more women have been entering the workplace, there has been a concern that families do not spend as much time with their children.\u00a0This, however, may not be true.\u00a0Between 1981 and 1997, the amount of time that parents spent with children increased overall (Sandberg and Hofferth, 2001). Modern numbers for this vary widely, as many parents who work outside of the home also devote significant amounts of time to childcare, to 14 hours a week, compared with 10 in 1965.[footnote]Geiger, A.W., Livingston, Gretchen, and Bialik, Kristen (May 2019). \"6 facts about U.S. moms.\" Pew Research Center. Retrieved from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2019\/05\/08\/facts-about-u-s-mothers\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2019\/05\/08\/facts-about-u-s-mothers\/<\/a>[\/footnote] The amount of this time that is undistracted and involved may be close to 34 minutes a day.[footnote]Renner, B. (2018, March 21). <i>American families spend just 37 minutes of quality time TOGETHER per Day, survey finds<\/i>. Study Finds. https:\/\/www.studyfinds.org\/american-families-spend-37-minutes-quality-time\/.[\/footnote]\r\n\r\nSeventy-five percent of children under age 5 are in scheduled child care programs.\u00a0Others are cared for by family members, friends, or are in Head Start Programs.\u00a0Older children are often in after school programs, before school programs, or stay at home alone after school once they are older.\u00a0Quality childcare programs can enhance a child\u2019s social skills and can provide rich learning experiences.\u00a0But long hours in poor quality care can have negative consequences for young children in particular.\u00a0What determines the quality of child care?\u00a0One very important consideration is the teacher\/child ratio.\u00a0States specify the maximum number of children that can be supervised by one teacher.\u00a0In general, the younger the children, the more teachers required for a given number of children.\u00a0The\u00a0lower the teacher-to-child ratio, the more time the teacher has for involvement with the children and the less stressed the teacher may be so that the interactions can be more relaxed, stimulating, and positive.\u00a0The\u00a0more children there are in a program, the less desirable the program as well.\u00a0This is because the center may be more rigid in rules and structure to accommodate the large number of children in the facility.\r\n\r\nThe\u00a0physical environment should be colorful, stimulating, clean, and safe.\u00a0The\u00a0philosophy of the organization and the curriculum available should be child-centered, positive, and stimulating.\u00a0Providers should be trained in early childhood education as well.\u00a0A majority of states do not require training for their child care providers.\u00a0And while formal education is not required for a person to provide a warm, loving relationship to a child, knowledge of a child\u2019s development is useful for addressing their social, emotional, and cognitive needs in an effective way.\u00a0By working toward improving the quality of childcare and increasing family-friendly workplace policies, such as more flexible scheduling and perhaps childcare facilities at places of employment, we can accommodate families with smaller children and relieve parents of the stress sometimes associated with managing work and family life.\r\n<div class=\"textbox exercises\">\r\n<h3>Global Concerns:\u00a0\u00a0The Market Women of\u00a0Liberia<\/h3>\r\nWork and mothering go hand in hand in many parts of the world. Consider the market women of Liberia. These are women who work as street vendors and are primary providers for their families. They come together in marketplaces along with their children to sell their goods while keeping a watchful eye on their children. Recently, they have been supported by President Sirleaf whose grandmother was a market woman. President Sirleaf has worked to raise funds to improve the marketplaces and conditions for mothers and children. The hope has been to make these marketplaces\u00a0more safe, to provide childcare, and social services to improve the lives of mothers and children (Nance-Nash, 2009). <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=1qSag1E6TH0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">This video on the Sirleaf Market Women's Fund<\/a> explains more.\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"textbox tryit\">\r\n<h3>Try It<\/h3>\r\nhttps:\/\/assess.lumenlearning.com\/practice\/89eb15d7-2899-4249-84dc-56f0959e5b6f\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div class=\"textbox key-takeaways\">\r\n<h3>Glossary<\/h3>\r\n[glossary-page]\r\n[glossary-term]athletic coach style of parenting:[\/glossary-term]\r\n[glossary-definition]the rules for behavior are consistent and objective and presented in that way. The parent\u2019s role is to provide guidance while the child learns firsthand how to handle these situations[\/glossary-definition]\r\n\r\n[glossary-term]authoritarian parenting:[\/glossary-term]\r\n[glossary-definition]the traditional model of parenting in which parents make the rules and children are expected to be obedient[\/glossary-definition]\r\n\r\n[glossary-term]authoritative parenting:[\/glossary-term]\r\n[glossary-definition]appropriately strict, reasonable, and affectionate. They are willing to negotiate when appropriate[\/glossary-definition]\r\n\r\n[glossary-term]martyr parent:[\/glossary-term]\r\n[glossary-definition]parent who will do anything for the child, even tasks that the child should do independently, may later use what they have done for the child to invoke guilt and compliance[\/glossary-definition]\r\n\r\n[glossary-term]pal parent:[\/glossary-term]\r\n[glossary-definition]wants to be the child\u2019s friend and focuses being entertaining and fun[\/glossary-definition]\r\n\r\n[glossary-term]permissive parenting:[\/glossary-term]\r\n[glossary-definition]involves being a friend to a child rather than an authority figure. Children are allowed to make their own rules and determine their own activities[\/glossary-definition]\r\n\r\n[glossary-term]police officer\/drill sergeant parent:[\/glossary-term]\r\n[glossary-definition]focuses primarily on making sure that the child is obedient and that the parent has full control of the child[\/glossary-definition]\r\n\r\n[glossary-term]teacher-counselor parent:[\/glossary-term]\r\n[glossary-definition]pays a lot of attention to expert advice on parenting and believes that as long as all of the steps are followed, the parent can rear a perfect child[\/glossary-definition]\r\n\r\n[glossary-term]uninvolved parenting:[\/glossary-term]\r\n[glossary-definition]parents who are disengaged from their children, do not make demands on their children, and are non-responsive[\/glossary-definition]\r\n[\/glossary-page]\r\n\r\n<\/div>","rendered":"<div class=\"textbox learning-objectives\">\n<h3>Learning Outcomes<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Describe the impact of different parenting styles on children&#8217;s development<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<h2>Parenting Styles<\/h2>\n<div id=\"attachment_3345\" style=\"width: 234px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3345\" class=\"wp-image-3345\" src=\"https:\/\/s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com\/courses-images\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3707\/2014\/09\/11190256\/adult-baby-celebration-child-daughter-daylight-1533673-pxhere.com_-200x300.jpg\" alt=\"Smiling man holding his young daughter on his shoulders.\" width=\"224\" height=\"335\" \/><\/p>\n<p id=\"caption-attachment-3345\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><strong>Figure 1<\/strong>. Parenting styles may fluctuate or evolve depending on the situation.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Relationships between parents and children continue to play a significant role in children\u2019s development during early childhood.\u00a0We will explore two models of parenting styles. Keep in mind that most parents do not follow any model completely.\u00a0Real people tend to fall somewhere in between these styles.\u00a0And sometimes parenting styles change from one child to the next or in times when the parent has more or less time and energy for parenting.\u00a0Parenting styles can also be affected by concerns the parent has in other areas of their life.\u00a0For example, parenting styles tend to become more authoritarian when parents are tired and perhaps more authoritative when they are more energetic. Sometimes parents seem to change their\u00a0parenting approach when others are around, maybe because they become more self-conscious as parents or are concerned with giving others the impression that they are a \u201ctough\u201d parent or an \u201ceasy-going\u201d parent.\u00a0And of course, parenting styles may reflect the type of parenting someone saw modeled while growing up.<\/p>\n<h3>Baumrind&#8217;s Parenting Styles<\/h3>\n<p>Baumrind\u00a0(1971) offers a model of parenting that includes three styles.\u00a0The\u00a0first,\u00a0<strong>authoritarian<\/strong>, is the traditional model of parenting in which parents make the rules and children are expected to be obedient.\u00a0Baumrind suggests that authoritarian parents tend to place maturity demands on their children that are unreasonably high and tend to be aloof and distant.\u00a0Consequently, children reared in this way may fear rather than respect their parents and, because their parents do not allow discussion, may take out their frustrations on safer targets &#8211; perhaps as bullies toward peers.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Permissive\u00a0parenting<\/strong> involves being a friend to a child rather than an authority figure.\u00a0Children are allowed to make their own rules and determine their own activities.\u00a0Parents are warm and communicative but provide little structure for their children.\u00a0Children may fail to learn self-discipline and may feel somewhat insecure because they do not know the limits.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Authoritative\u00a0parenting<\/strong> involves being appropriately strict, reasonable, and affectionate.\u00a0Parents allow negotiation where appropriate and discipline matches the severity of the offense.\u00a0A popular parenting program that is offered in many school districts is called \u201cLove and Logic\u201d and reflects the authoritative or democratic style of parenting just described.<\/p>\n<p>Today we recognize a fourth style within the Baumrind framework: <strong>uninvolved\u00a0parenting.<\/strong> These parents\u00a0are disengaged from their children. They do not make demands on their children and are non-responsive. These children can suffer in school and in their relationships with their peers (Gecas &amp; Self, 1991).<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_3343\" style=\"width: 810px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com\/courses-images\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3707\/2014\/09\/11184528\/original-8.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3343\" class=\"wp-image-3343 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com\/courses-images\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3707\/2014\/09\/11184528\/original-8.jpg\" alt=\"Chart of parenting styles. Those with low warmth\/responsiveness and low expectations\/control are uninvolved. Those with low expectations and high warmth are permissive. those with high expectations and low warmth are authoritarian. Those with high expectations and high warmth are authoritative.\" width=\"800\" height=\"404\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p id=\"caption-attachment-3343\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><strong>Figure 2<\/strong>. Parents who are both warm and responsive while still maintaining a high level of control are considered authoritative.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<h3>Lemasters and Defrain&#8217;s Parenting Model<\/h3>\n<p>Lemasters and Defrain\u00a0(1989) offered yet another model of parenting.\u00a0This model is interesting because it looks more closely at the motivations of the parent and suggests that parenting styles are often designed to meet the psychological needs of the parent rather than the developmental needs of the child.<\/p>\n<p>The<strong>\u00a0martyr<\/strong>\u00a0is a parent who will do anything for the child, even tasks that the child should do for themselves.\u00a0All of the good deeds performed for the child, in the name of being a \u201cgood parent,\u201d may be used later should the parent want to gain compliance from the child.\u00a0If\u00a0a child goes against the parent\u2019s wishes, the parent can remind the child of all of the times the parent helped the child and evoke a feeling of guilt so that the child will do what the parent wants.\u00a0The\u00a0child learns to be dependent and manipulative as a result.\u00a0(Beware, a parent busy whipping up cookies may really be thinking \u201ccontrol\u201d!)<\/p>\n<p>The\u00a0<strong>pal<\/strong>\u00a0is like the permissive parent described in Baumrind\u2019s model above.\u00a0The\u00a0pal wants to be the child\u2019s friend.\u00a0Perhaps the parent is lonely, or perhaps the parent is trying to win a popularity contest against an ex-spouse.\u00a0Pals let children do what they want and focus most on being entertaining and fun. They set few limitations.\u00a0Consequently, the child may have little self-discipline and may try to test limits with others.<\/p>\n<p>The\u00a0<strong>police officer\/drill sergeant\u00a0<\/strong>style of parenting is similar to the authoritarian parent described above.\u00a0The\u00a0parent focuses primarily on making sure that the child is obedient and that the parent has full control of the child.\u00a0Sometimes this can be taken to extremes by giving the child tasks that are really designed to check on their level of obedience.\u00a0For example, the parent may require that the child fold the clothes and place items back in the drawer in a particular way.\u00a0If\u00a0not, the child might be scolded or punished for not doing things \u201cright.\u201d This type of parent has a very difficult time allowing the child to grow and learn to make decisions independently.\u00a0And the child may have a lot of resentment toward the parent that is displaced on others.<\/p>\n<p>The<strong>\u00a0teacher-counselor\u00a0<\/strong>parent is one who pays a lot of attention to expert advice on parenting and who believes that as long as all of the steps are followed, the parent can rear a perfect child.\u00a0\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with that?\u201d you might ask.\u00a0There are two major problems with this approach.\u00a0First, the parent is taking all of the responsibility for the child\u2019s behavior, at least indirectly.\u00a0If\u00a0the child has difficulty, the parent feels responsible and thinks that the solution lies in reading more advice and trying more diligently to follow that advice.\u00a0Parents can certainly influence children, but thinking that the parent is fully responsible for the child\u2019s outcome is faulty. A parent can only do so much and can never have full control over the child.\u00a0Another problem with this approach is that the child may get an unrealistic sense of the world and what can be expected from others.\u00a0For example, if a teacher-counselor parent decides to help the child build self-esteem and has read that telling the child how special they are or how important it is to compliment the child on a job well done, the parent may convey the message that everything the child does is exceptional or extraordinary.\u00a0A child may come to expect that all of their efforts warrant praise, and in the real world, this is not something one can expect.\u00a0Perhaps children get more of a sense of pride from assessing their own performance than from having others praise their efforts.<\/p>\n<p>So what is left?\u00a0Lemasters and Defrain (1989) suggest that the\u00a0<strong>athletic coach\u00a0style of parenting<\/strong> is best.\u00a0Before\u00a0you draw conclusions here, set aside any negative experiences you may have had with coaches in the past.\u00a0The\u00a0principles of coaching are what are important to Lemasters and Defrain.\u00a0A coach helps players form strategies, supports their efforts, gives feedback on what went right and what went wrong, and stands at the sideline while the players perform.\u00a0Coaches and referees make sure that the rules of the game are followed and that all players adhere to those rules.\u00a0Similarly, the athletic coach as parent helps the child understand what needs to happen in certain situations whether in friendships, school, or home life and encourages and advises the child about how to manage these situations.\u00a0The\u00a0parent does not intervene or do things for the child.\u00a0Rather, the parent\u2019s role is to provide guidance while the child learns firsthand how to handle these situations.\u00a0The rules for behavior are consistent and objective and presented in that way.\u00a0So, a child who is late for dinner might hear the parent respond in this way, \u201cDinner was at six o\u2019clock.\u201d\u00a0 Rather than, \u201cYou know good and well that we always eat at six.\u00a0If\u00a0you expect me to get up and make something for you now, you have got another thing coming!\u00a0Just who do you think you are showing up late and looking for food?\u00a0You\u2019re grounded until further notice!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The most important thing to remember about parenting is that you can be a better, more objective parent when you are directing your actions toward the child\u2019s needs while considering what they can reasonably be expected to do at their stage of development.\u00a0Parenting is more difficult when you are tired and have psychological needs that interfere with the relationship.\u00a0Some of the best advice for parents is to try not to take the child\u2019s actions personally, and be as objective as possible.<\/p>\n<h3>Class and Culture<\/h3>\n<p>The impact of class and culture\u00a0cannot be ignored when examining parenting styles.\u00a0The\u00a0two models of parenting described above assume that authoritative and athletic coaching styles are best because they are designed to help the parent raise a child who is independent, self-reliant, and responsible.\u00a0These are qualities favored in \u201cindividualistic\u201d cultures such as the United States, particularly by the middle class.<\/p>\n<p>Authoritarian parenting has been used historically and reflects the cultural need for children to do as they are told.\u00a0African-American, Hispanic, and Asian parents tend to be more authoritarian than non-Hispanic whites. In collectivistic cultures such as China or Korea, being obedient and compliant are favored behaviors. In societies where family members\u2019 cooperation is necessary for survival, as in the case of raising crops, rearing children who are independent and who strive to be on their own makes no sense.\u00a0But in an economy based on being mobile in order to find jobs and where one\u2019s earnings are based on education, raising a child to be independent is very important.<\/p>\n<p>Working-class parents are more likely than middle-class parents to focus on obedience and honesty when raising their children.\u00a0In a classic study on social class and parenting styles called\u00a0<em>Class and Conformity<\/em>, Kohn (1977) explained that parents tend to emphasize qualities that are needed for their own survival when parenting their children.\u00a0Working-class parents are rewarded for being obedient, reliable, and honest in their jobs.\u00a0They are not paid to be independent or to question the management; rather, they move up and are considered good employees if they show up on time, do their work as they are told, and can be counted on by their employers.\u00a0Consequently, these parents reward honesty and obedience in their children.\u00a0Middle-class parents who work as professionals are rewarded for taking initiative, being self-directed, and being assertive in their jobs.\u00a0They are required to get the job done without being told exactly what to do.\u00a0They are asked to be innovative and to work independently.\u00a0These parents encourage their children to have those qualities as well by rewarding independence and self-reliance.\u00a0Parenting styles can reflect many elements of culture.<\/p>\n<div class=\"textbox exercises\">\n<h3>Link to Learning<\/h3>\n<p>In <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?time_continue=86&amp;v=RMxqTXgRO9E\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Scout O&#8217;Donnell&#8217;s TED Talk,<\/a>\u00a0she describes the alternative parenting style used by her parents. Can you find elements of authoritative and coaching parenting, along with a little Love and Logic?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"textbox tryit\">\n<h3>Try It<\/h3>\n<p>\t<iframe id=\"assessment_practice_1dd697ef-1f50-4d2f-9663-4011bdc240e9\" class=\"resizable\" src=\"https:\/\/assess.lumenlearning.com\/practice\/1dd697ef-1f50-4d2f-9663-4011bdc240e9?iframe_resize_id=assessment_practice_id_1dd697ef-1f50-4d2f-9663-4011bdc240e9\" frameborder=\"0\" style=\"border:none;width:100%;height:100%;min-height:300px;\"><br \/>\n\t<\/iframe><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<h2><strong>Child Care Concerns<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>About 75.7 percent of mothers of school-aged and 65.1 percent of mothers of preschool-aged children in the United States\u00a0work outside the home<a class=\"footnote\" title=\"(April 2018) &quot;Employment Characteristics of Families.&quot; Bureau of Labor Statistics. Retrieved from https:\/\/www.bls.gov\/news.release\/pdf\/famee.pdf\" id=\"return-footnote-276-1\" href=\"#footnote-276-1\" aria-label=\"Footnote 1\"><sup class=\"footnote\">[1]<\/sup><\/a>.\u00a0Since more women have been entering the workplace, there has been a concern that families do not spend as much time with their children.\u00a0This, however, may not be true.\u00a0Between 1981 and 1997, the amount of time that parents spent with children increased overall (Sandberg and Hofferth, 2001). Modern numbers for this vary widely, as many parents who work outside of the home also devote significant amounts of time to childcare, to 14 hours a week, compared with 10 in 1965.<a class=\"footnote\" title=\"Geiger, A.W., Livingston, Gretchen, and Bialik, Kristen (May 2019). &quot;6 facts about U.S. moms.&quot; Pew Research Center. Retrieved from https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2019\/05\/08\/facts-about-u-s-mothers\/\" id=\"return-footnote-276-2\" href=\"#footnote-276-2\" aria-label=\"Footnote 2\"><sup class=\"footnote\">[2]<\/sup><\/a> The amount of this time that is undistracted and involved may be close to 34 minutes a day.<a class=\"footnote\" title=\"Renner, B. (2018, March 21). American families spend just 37 minutes of quality time TOGETHER per Day, survey finds. Study Finds. https:\/\/www.studyfinds.org\/american-families-spend-37-minutes-quality-time\/.\" id=\"return-footnote-276-3\" href=\"#footnote-276-3\" aria-label=\"Footnote 3\"><sup class=\"footnote\">[3]<\/sup><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Seventy-five percent of children under age 5 are in scheduled child care programs.\u00a0Others are cared for by family members, friends, or are in Head Start Programs.\u00a0Older children are often in after school programs, before school programs, or stay at home alone after school once they are older.\u00a0Quality childcare programs can enhance a child\u2019s social skills and can provide rich learning experiences.\u00a0But long hours in poor quality care can have negative consequences for young children in particular.\u00a0What determines the quality of child care?\u00a0One very important consideration is the teacher\/child ratio.\u00a0States specify the maximum number of children that can be supervised by one teacher.\u00a0In general, the younger the children, the more teachers required for a given number of children.\u00a0The\u00a0lower the teacher-to-child ratio, the more time the teacher has for involvement with the children and the less stressed the teacher may be so that the interactions can be more relaxed, stimulating, and positive.\u00a0The\u00a0more children there are in a program, the less desirable the program as well.\u00a0This is because the center may be more rigid in rules and structure to accommodate the large number of children in the facility.<\/p>\n<p>The\u00a0physical environment should be colorful, stimulating, clean, and safe.\u00a0The\u00a0philosophy of the organization and the curriculum available should be child-centered, positive, and stimulating.\u00a0Providers should be trained in early childhood education as well.\u00a0A majority of states do not require training for their child care providers.\u00a0And while formal education is not required for a person to provide a warm, loving relationship to a child, knowledge of a child\u2019s development is useful for addressing their social, emotional, and cognitive needs in an effective way.\u00a0By working toward improving the quality of childcare and increasing family-friendly workplace policies, such as more flexible scheduling and perhaps childcare facilities at places of employment, we can accommodate families with smaller children and relieve parents of the stress sometimes associated with managing work and family life.<\/p>\n<div class=\"textbox exercises\">\n<h3>Global Concerns:\u00a0\u00a0The Market Women of\u00a0Liberia<\/h3>\n<p>Work and mothering go hand in hand in many parts of the world. Consider the market women of Liberia. These are women who work as street vendors and are primary providers for their families. They come together in marketplaces along with their children to sell their goods while keeping a watchful eye on their children. Recently, they have been supported by President Sirleaf whose grandmother was a market woman. President Sirleaf has worked to raise funds to improve the marketplaces and conditions for mothers and children. The hope has been to make these marketplaces\u00a0more safe, to provide childcare, and social services to improve the lives of mothers and children (Nance-Nash, 2009). <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=1qSag1E6TH0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">This video on the Sirleaf Market Women&#8217;s Fund<\/a> explains more.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"textbox tryit\">\n<h3>Try It<\/h3>\n<p>\t<iframe id=\"assessment_practice_89eb15d7-2899-4249-84dc-56f0959e5b6f\" class=\"resizable\" src=\"https:\/\/assess.lumenlearning.com\/practice\/89eb15d7-2899-4249-84dc-56f0959e5b6f?iframe_resize_id=assessment_practice_id_89eb15d7-2899-4249-84dc-56f0959e5b6f\" frameborder=\"0\" style=\"border:none;width:100%;height:100%;min-height:300px;\"><br \/>\n\t<\/iframe><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"textbox key-takeaways\">\n<h3>Glossary<\/h3>\n<div class=\"titlepage\">\n<dl>\n<dt>athletic coach style of parenting:<\/dt>\n<dd>the rules for behavior are consistent and objective and presented in that way. The parent\u2019s role is to provide guidance while the child learns firsthand how to handle these situations<\/dd>\n<dt>authoritarian parenting:<\/dt>\n<dd>the traditional model of parenting in which parents make the rules and children are expected to be obedient<\/dd>\n<dt>authoritative parenting:<\/dt>\n<dd>appropriately strict, reasonable, and affectionate. They are willing to negotiate when appropriate<\/dd>\n<dt>martyr parent:<\/dt>\n<dd>parent who will do anything for the child, even tasks that the child should do independently, may later use what they have done for the child to invoke guilt and compliance<\/dd>\n<dt>pal parent:<\/dt>\n<dd>wants to be the child\u2019s friend and focuses being entertaining and fun<\/dd>\n<dt>permissive parenting:<\/dt>\n<dd>involves being a friend to a child rather than an authority figure. Children are allowed to make their own rules and determine their own activities<\/dd>\n<dt>police officer\/drill sergeant parent:<\/dt>\n<dd>focuses primarily on making sure that the child is obedient and that the parent has full control of the child<\/dd>\n<dt>teacher-counselor parent:<\/dt>\n<dd>pays a lot of attention to expert advice on parenting and believes that as long as all of the steps are followed, the parent can rear a perfect child<\/dd>\n<dt>uninvolved parenting:<\/dt>\n<dd>parents who are disengaged from their children, do not make demands on their children, and are non-responsive<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t <section class=\"citations-section\" role=\"contentinfo\">\n\t\t\t <h3>Candela Citations<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\t <div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t <div id=\"citation-list-276\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t <div class=\"licensing\"><div class=\"license-attribution-dropdown-subheading\">CC licensed content, Original<\/div><ul class=\"citation-list\"><li>Modification, adaptation, and original content. <strong>Authored by<\/strong>: Stephanie Loalada for Lumen Learning. <strong>Provided by<\/strong>: Lumen Learning. <strong>License<\/strong>: <em><a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"license\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by\/4.0\/\">CC BY: Attribution<\/a><\/em><\/li><li>Father and daughter image. <strong>Located at<\/strong>: <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/pxhere.com\/en\/photo\/1533673\">https:\/\/pxhere.com\/en\/photo\/1533673<\/a>. <strong>License<\/strong>: <em><a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"license\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/about\/cc0\">CC0: No Rights Reserved<\/a><\/em><\/li><\/ul><div class=\"license-attribution-dropdown-subheading\">CC licensed content, Shared previously<\/div><ul class=\"citation-list\"><li>Psyc 200 Lifespan Psychology. <strong>Authored by<\/strong>: Laura Overstreet. <strong>Located at<\/strong>: <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/opencourselibrary.org\/econ-201\/\">http:\/\/opencourselibrary.org\/econ-201\/<\/a>. <strong>License<\/strong>: <em><a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"license\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by\/4.0\/\">CC BY: Attribution<\/a><\/em><\/li><li>Comparison of parenting styles. <strong>Authored by<\/strong>: Ross Thompson. <strong>Provided by<\/strong>: Noba. <strong>Located at<\/strong>: <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/nobaproject.com\/modules\/social-and-personality-development-in-childhood\">https:\/\/nobaproject.com\/modules\/social-and-personality-development-in-childhood<\/a>. <strong>Project<\/strong>: The Noba Project. <strong>License<\/strong>: <em><a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"license\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/4.0\/\">CC BY-NC-SA: Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike<\/a><\/em><\/li><\/ul><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t <\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t <\/div>\n\t\t\t <\/section><hr class=\"before-footnotes clear\" \/><div class=\"footnotes\"><ol><li id=\"footnote-276-1\">(April 2018) \"Employment Characteristics of Families.\" Bureau of Labor Statistics. Retrieved from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bls.gov\/news.release\/pdf\/famee.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">https:\/\/www.bls.gov\/news.release\/pdf\/famee.pdf<\/a> <a href=\"#return-footnote-276-1\" class=\"return-footnote\" aria-label=\"Return to footnote 1\">&crarr;<\/a><\/li><li id=\"footnote-276-2\">Geiger, A.W., Livingston, Gretchen, and Bialik, Kristen (May 2019). \"6 facts about U.S. moms.\" Pew Research Center. Retrieved from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2019\/05\/08\/facts-about-u-s-mothers\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2019\/05\/08\/facts-about-u-s-mothers\/<\/a> <a href=\"#return-footnote-276-2\" class=\"return-footnote\" aria-label=\"Return to footnote 2\">&crarr;<\/a><\/li><li id=\"footnote-276-3\">Renner, B. (2018, March 21). <i>American families spend just 37 minutes of quality time TOGETHER per Day, survey finds<\/i>. Study Finds. https:\/\/www.studyfinds.org\/american-families-spend-37-minutes-quality-time\/. <a href=\"#return-footnote-276-3\" class=\"return-footnote\" aria-label=\"Return to footnote 3\">&crarr;<\/a><\/li><\/ol><\/div>","protected":false},"author":74,"menu_order":13,"template":"","meta":{"_candela_citation":"[{\"type\":\"cc\",\"description\":\"Psyc 200 Lifespan Psychology\",\"author\":\"Laura Overstreet\",\"organization\":\"\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/opencourselibrary.org\/econ-201\/\",\"project\":\"\",\"license\":\"cc-by\",\"license_terms\":\"\"},{\"type\":\"original\",\"description\":\"Modification, adaptation, and original content\",\"author\":\"Stephanie Loalada for Lumen Learning\",\"organization\":\"Lumen Learning\",\"url\":\"\",\"project\":\"\",\"license\":\"cc-by\",\"license_terms\":\"\"},{\"type\":\"cc\",\"description\":\"Comparison of parenting styles\",\"author\":\"Ross Thompson\",\"organization\":\"Noba\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/nobaproject.com\/modules\/social-and-personality-development-in-childhood\",\"project\":\"The Noba Project\",\"license\":\"cc-by-nc-sa\",\"license_terms\":\"\"},{\"type\":\"original\",\"description\":\"Father and daughter image\",\"author\":\"\",\"organization\":\"\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/pxhere.com\/en\/photo\/1533673\",\"project\":\"\",\"license\":\"cc0\",\"license_terms\":\"\"}]","CANDELA_OUTCOMES_GUID":"12698c56-4453-425d-a5d0-fe6ec038a41f, 1f31b7b1-ef99-4bfc-a80f-67535da39121","pb_show_title":"on","pb_short_title":"","pb_subtitle":"","pb_authors":[],"pb_section_license":""},"chapter-type":[],"contributor":[],"license":[],"class_list":["post-276","chapter","type-chapter","status-publish","hentry"],"part":261,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-lifespandevelopment\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/276","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-lifespandevelopment\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-lifespandevelopment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/chapter"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-lifespandevelopment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/74"}],"version-history":[{"count":52,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-lifespandevelopment\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/276\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7780,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-lifespandevelopment\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/276\/revisions\/7780"}],"part":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-lifespandevelopment\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/parts\/261"}],"metadata":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-lifespandevelopment\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/276\/metadata\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-lifespandevelopment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"chapter-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-lifespandevelopment\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapter-type?post=276"},{"taxonomy":"contributor","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-lifespandevelopment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/contributor?post=276"},{"taxonomy":"license","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/courses.lumenlearning.com\/wm-lifespandevelopment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/license?post=276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}