Writing an Introduction and Thesis

Starting the first paragraph can be one of the most daunting tasks of essay writing, but it does not need to be. Investing some time in planning can save much anxiety and frustration later.

An effective introductory paragraph will engage the reader with some reason to learn about your topic and will warm him or her up to your topic with important background information and ideas before stating your essay’s controlling idea (thesis.) It should include the following:

1. Hook (also called a Lead-in, Opener, or Attention Grabber) that will arouse the interest of as many people possible in your target audience group.
2. Identification and general discussion of the topic, including why the topic is important and worthy of analysis.
3. Background info (e.g. history of the controversy, or summary of the literature/ articles.) This is any information necessary to lead down to your controlling idea on the subject, including the who, what, when, where, why, and how.
4. Explanation that narrows your focus down to your thesis.
5. Thesis (your controlling idea for the whole essay), possibly including, preceded by or followed by a brief indication of your subtopics. (This latter part is sometimes called a blueprint, roadmap of reasons, forecast of points, etc.).

The Hook

It is essential that the first sentence “hooks” your intended reader with something that is both interesting at first glance and relevant to the focus of your essay. Try one or a combination of the following hooks:

• Present a startling fact or statistic.
  • Example: The number of emergency room visits associated with energy drinks has more than doubled in this country in the last five years, from about 10,000 to over 20,000.
• Present a vivid image, scenario, or brief story (anecdote), perhaps your own experience or someone else’s—even one of a famous person—that relates to and leads into your essay’s topic.
  • Example: There I was, stranded with no cell phone beside a remote Colorado road in mid-January. I had long since lost feeling in my feet, and, peeling back my socks, I saw to my horror that my toes were completely black with frostbite.
• Begin with a comparison (such as a metaphor) or a contrast (X is nothing like Y).
  • Example: For a first-time parent, a child is a megaphone, proclaiming that he or she is not the center of the universe anymore.
• Begin with a paradox (an apparent contradiction).
  • Example: An important purpose of fiction is to reveal truth.
• Pose a question that engages the intended reader but is also recognizably connected to the next sentences.
  • Example: Has anyone you know ever been the victim of identity theft?
• Share a memorable quotation that speaks strongly about your topic.
  • Example: Victor Hugo, the author of Les Miserables, once declared, “He who opens a school door closes a prison.”

Options for that Middle Material

You might have a great idea for your hook and even a tentative thesis, but what about the sentences that are supposed to go between them? How are you going to meaningfully and smoothly bridge this gap? It might depend on what kind of essay you are writing. Here are some suggestions, though don’t feel locked into that one option just because it is labeled for your type of essay. Also, be aware that some of these options might naturally contain their own hooks.

• For a Position/Argument/Persuasive Essay: Be sure to establish that a real controversy exists before giving your position in the thesis. What is the issue? Why do people disagree about it? Are there more than just two sides? How long has this controversy existed? What are the ‘roots’ or brief history of the conflict? Lead down to your position (thesis), and then your body paragraphs will be the reasons for your position.
• For a Solution Essay: Highlight the problem or need. Get the reader to understand that one exists. What is it? Why is it a problem or need? How long has it been around? Who and/or what is affected? Then work down to the thesis, which in this case is your proposed solution. The body paragraphs will then be breaking down your solution into its reasons and/or steps.
• For a Compare/Contrast Essay: If the main point of your essay is to show how two things are significantly similar, consider first explaining that people often perceive them as completely different and unrelatable—why is that? If the main point of your essay is to show how two things are significantly different, consider first explaining that people often perceive them as essentially the same—explain why and then lead down to your thesis.
• For a Current Events or History Essay: Consider beginning at a different point in time than the one focused on in the body of your paper. For example, if your paper is to focus on a specific current event/situation between Israelis and Palestinians, you might lead in with a brief overview of the groups’ long-term history. Alternately, if the focus of the paper is on a historical event or period, you might begin with discussion about the present-day region or nation, or you could begin at a point even further in the past that led up to the period of focus.
• For an Illustrative/Descriptive Essay: If your task is to describe a person, place, thing, process, or concept, then you must begin by motivating the reader as to his/her/its appeal or importance (as with any introduction.) For more personal, informal essays, you can relate your own earliest experiences with that person, place, or thing, possibly explaining your first impressions. For more formal essays, highlight his/her/its significance to a larger group of people or to a larger purpose/function.
• For a Research/Expository Essay: Explain who is/has been affected, and how much or often. Also be sure to define any major terms that you will be using throughout the paper if they are not necessarily understood by your intended audience.
• For a Cause/Effect Essay: If your essay will be focusing on the causes of a particular event, condition, or situation, explain who or what is affected by it. How prevalent is it? If the focus of the essay is on the effects of something, you might provide background by discussing what leads/has led up to it (its causes).
• For an Analytical Essay (e.g. literature, philosophy, article response): Before diving into interpretation and analysis, use your introduction to announce the original work and author/theorist, giving background about either or both. Consider a brief summary of the story, concept, or major ideas of the piece, then narrow down to the specific ideas you will be working with in the essay.

A Quick Thesis Formula

Tips for Your Thesis

A thesis should be as clear and specific as possible, yet still able to be developed in different ways through your body paragraphs. Avoid overused, general terms and abstractions: “Communism collapsed due to societal discontent.” Communism where? What does “societal discontent” mean? Society can be discontent about anything! Here is an improvement: “Communism collapsed in Eastern Europe because of the ruling elite’s inability to address the economic needs of the people.”

The Topic is relatively specific: communism in Eastern Europe. Also, the Main Point (italicized segment) is clear. Now in this example, the Details (how the body paragraphs will be broken down) are only hinted at, but that might be enough for some courses as long as you have strong, guiding topic sentences that connect back to these key words from the thesis.

In some courses though, especially ENGL 1010, you might need to absolutely spell out the breakdown of subtopics in your thesis (a forecasting thesis). So here is an example of one, and to make it even more ENGL 1010-friendly, it is an argumentative thesis. The Topic, Main Point, and Details are indicated: “The public sale of fireworks in Pennsylvania should be prohibited because of fireworks’ danger to people, noise disturbance, and potential damage to property.”

Thesis Pitfalls

Check to make sure your thesis is not…

• Too broad or general: “Drugs have a negative effect on society.”
• Too big to be adequately covered within the assigned length of a paper: “Warfare in Europe has greatly evolved through the centuries with many different forms.”
• Too narrow a focus to sustain an essay of the required length: “All students should have an alarm clock to wake them up in the morning.”
• A question: “What will the United States do to curb gun violence?”
• An obvious idea: “Spending more money than you earn results in debt.”
• Combative, insulting, assuming, or confrontational: “Gun nuts need to understand that they don’t need to have so many guns because violence is evil.”
• A basic definition of a word: “Sexism is prejudice or discrimination based on sex or gender.”
• Lacking any strong stand: “Legislation surrounding same-sex marriage is a hotly debated issue today.”
• Stating a fact, offering little room for expansion: “Sixty-seven percent of pregnant women have claimed to have a higher level of smell sensitivity.”
• Containing more than one main idea: “Asbestos abatement is a complicated process, and it is also important to check one’s home for radon.” (A thesis can have more than one idea, but the hierarchy should be clear. That is, one should be easily identifiable as the main idea, while the others are clearly supporting it).”

Other Introduction Paragraph PItfalls

• Writing a very attention-grabbing hook, but failing to connect its meaning with the rest of the paragraph.
• Going too deep into your reasons or subtopics within your introduction, and so setting yourself up to be repetitive later in the essay.
• Opening with a cliché statement or a very obvious idea.
• Referring to your essay or referring to yourself as the writer of the essay (“In this essay I will tell you about…”)
• Relying immediately on a reference source to define your subject for you. (“According to Webster’s Dictionary…” or “Wikipedia states…”)

A Final Word

Remember, your introductory paragraph sets the tone for your essay and is your first impression, so it is worth taking your time on. But don’t worry if it does not come off sounding exactly right the first time. We are all learners as writers! It is natural and necessary to return to your introduction for revision after you have drafted the rest of your essay, just to make sure it is still consistent with what the paper has evolved into.

We at the Learning Commons are here to help at any stage of the writing process. Please come in anytime to go over what you have so far, even if you haven’t written anything down yet. We can help you find your direction. Also check out our handouts “Building Body Paragraphs” and “Writing a Conclusion,” among many others. We hope you take joy in your writing as you investigate a subject that interests you and that you also have the chance to express yourself well.